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I feel really bad about this. But I don't have much of an emotional attachment to my dog. That's bad, isn't it?

Don't get me wrong- We are nice to her, talk gently to her, she eats raw and high quality kibble, she has two thick comfy big beds (one upstairs and one downstairs), I brush her a couple times a day, we pet her all the time, I have her do tricks, she has vet attention when she needs it, she goes in and out when she wants to, etc. We walk her most days- that's the only thing we could do any better, would be to walk her every single day.
I'd never never rehome her. Pets are for life, and plus she really does need a very special, calm home that understands her (which we are).

But I just don't really like her. I've had her 6 years. She's not a bright dog- I am being totally honest when I say I think there's something wrong with her. She just doesn't get being a dog. She doesn't really know how to relate to people or to other dogs. She's good with ds, but won't play or anything like that at all.
I got a freezer full of raw food, and she won't hardly eat it. It drives me crazy to do that work for a dog who doesn't even like it.

It just sucks since Brooke died- she was a great dog. Now I only have one dog, that hardly counts as a dog!

Anyways, I don't know my purpose for writing this. Just to maybe hear that I'm not as awful as I feel?
 

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First, have you ever considered what life might be like without her? That might give you a clearer understanding of whether or not you 'like' her. I don't think you are horrible...some dogs we connect to on a deeper level than others. For instance, growing up we had this awesome dog named Katie (Basset Hound). She had a real connection with everyone in our household. My parents have other dogs ~ but no one has compared to the soul connection that Katie had with them.

I have 7 dogs ~ I love them all and provide for them ~ but I have different connections with different dogs. Some are more DH's dogs than mine and vice-versa. One of our dogs, Rocky, is almost velcroed to my feet at all times. He follows me around constantly and if I cannot be found he sits in the middle of the house and howls. I used to think (a couple of years after we got him) ~ that it might be a relief when he dies because of how much he literally 'hounds' me (sorry for the pund)! I am his person but I didn't feel the same way back. Then one night he had a big emergency (vax reaction) and we almost lost him. I was terrified and all I kept thinking was I couldn't imagine our house without him. That situation showed me just how much he truly did mean to me...and when his time comes it will leave a very large void.

When someone is there constantly ~ it is kind of hard to remember their value in your life or see the value. The moment they are gone it is too late. Just because you don't have a deep soulful connection like you have maybe had with other dogs doesn't mean you don't like your dog. However, all of this is just my experience ~ and perhaps you truly just don't like your dog
 

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I only have one dog, so not alot to compare it to there...but I have 6 cats and there is one I am significantly closer to than the others. We can look at each other & have "eye conversation." I'm WAY more bonded to her than any other animal I've ever had. That doesn't mean I don't love the others, they just AREN'T her, ya know?
My point is you are NOT horrible, it just is what it is & as long as you're decent to her, don't sweat it!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Deva33mommy View Post
I feel really bad about this. But I don't have much of an emotional attachment to my dog. That's bad, isn't it?
Well, I'm not nearly the 'animal person' that I know others are, but I would say as long as you are caring for the animal responsibly, there's nothing bad. I doubt most dogs on earth or in history have been the subject of human love and affection, and I really don't think they need it or that you're a bad person for not being attached.

Which is to say, I don't have an emotional attachment to our pets, and I *don't* feel bad about it. So if nothing else, you're better than I am
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I am in a similar situation. We have 2 dogs and they are not bright, won't play etc... and I don't like them either.
They don't seem to know they are dogs. One of them used to copy the cats including jumping onto the dining table!!! This is a 60lb dog! Each of them is so dim it took over 8 months just to housetrain them. (our vet told us that one of them would never be house trained)

I do feel bad about it. I want to love them, but they are appallling creatures. I so much prefer my cats. My clean, soft purring cats who never make a mess or jump on guests.... And the dogs have one vice: they will steal food from kids, or even adults. Greedy. They will knock a child over to get their food! I just don't like them. But one is a 2 time loser and the other a 3 time loser! We cannot bear to think of rehoming them. I mean, we care about them but it is a bit abstact or intellectual I guess. I know they want love. My BIL loves them but can't have them. They adore him. It is really cute. I wish I could love them.
 

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You know, I don't think you should feel bad. Just think of all the people you meet every day...some you will click with, others will be friends, some aquaintances and others you may not like at all.

I think the same thing goes for animals. The kitty love of my life, Nicky, and I just had that bond. We understood eachother and if I had designed a pet it would be like him. When he passed I was devistated, and I was left with Sammy who was so quiet....so laid back. She kept to herself most of the time, didn't spend time with us the way he did. He was the "in your face kitty" DH calls that personality "doglike". He was always in on the action. The cat I adopted last year, Heaven, she acts just like him...she's nutty, in your face, love me now I'm all yours. She "gets me" and I get her. So, I love her as deeply as I loved him, but it is a different relationship still as she's a different cat. She's my kind of girl!
:

Some animals are "our kind of animals." And, I've been owned by many kitties over my life of exhibition, limited breeding and pet ownership in general. I would say you develop a different relationship with each of them...but the really special ones, the ones which bond to you and seem to understand you...those are the ones that you will likely flip over and they will truly be your best friends
. Even Sammy...she had a special heart, she was sweet and gentle spirit. I did love her, but it was definitely not the same kind of relationship that I had with Nicky and now that I have with Heaven.

The one thing I do miss about having Samantha here is that she was my lap kitty
: . Heaven kneads on occasion and hangs out with me...but Sammy would actually cuddle up with me and knead me and then sleep on my tummy. She was really sweet in that way. I think, working on the "shared experiences" that you have with the pet does help you bond deeper with them...even if they aren't exactly the kind of personality you love so much.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by gargirl View Post
I mean, we care about them but it is a bit abstact or intellectual I guess.
Yeah, I totally get that.

Shiloh is an easy dog. She doesn't jump on people, doesn't steal food (even when it's right at her level, she rarely attempts it), she's easy to walk (but slow as all get out, she stops to sniff everything!).

Well, at least now I know that there are other pet owners who are giving their pets good lives, but just don't feel connected.
Shiloh is definitely well taken care of, and we give her affection and all that. So...I guess I can feel good about that.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Deva33mommy View Post

Well, at least now I know that there are other pet owners who are giving their pets good lives, but just don't feel connected.
Shiloh is definitely well taken care of, and we give her affection and all that. So...I guess I can feel good about that.
Yep, you should feel good about it! You do love her, and take care of her. It doesn't mean though that every dog you have you will be "madly and passionately in love with." I just don't think it is the case. I've spoken to some cat breeders about this in the past...that is their experience as well. Sounds human to me
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Quote:

Originally Posted by phatchristy View Post
I think, working on the "shared experiences" that you have with the pet does help you bond deeper with them...even if they aren't exactly the kind of personality you love so much.

 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
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Originally Posted by phatchristy View Post
I think, working on the "shared experiences" that you have with the pet does help you bond deeper with them...even if they aren't exactly the kind of personality you love so much.

Yeah, I'll try to do more walks with Shiloh (without Keagan, because that just stresses me- Shiloh's slow when Keagan wants to go fast, and Keagan's slow when Shiloh's pulling to go faster. Or with Keagan in a stroller, though I know that's a taboo thing around here. lol)
And, I must say that I am impressed with Shiloh's learning new tricks recently. Not fancy tricks, but still impressive for her. She can sit (unless her legs are hurting her), shake, lay, and do a long stay really well. I work on that stuff a couple times a day. So maybe doing even more tricks will be a good thing for both of us.

I'm thinking about getting another animal, because I'm wondering if maybe I'm just bored. I looked on petfinder, and none of the dogs really got me. Maybe a rat? I've been thinking about one for a while (there are a ton on petfinder). I considered a cat, but neither of us are really cat people, and litterboxes really don't appeal to me. But then, I guess cleaning a rat cage wouldn't be too far off...
 

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some dogs just may not like raw food. some people don't like mexican food... it's whatever is their choice, right?

but, aside from that, sounds like she has a good life and hopefully the other memebers of your family have some true love for her !
 
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