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I don't understand "easy for Dad to use"

2K views 43 replies 42 participants last post by  turtle2who 
#1 ·
And I've even used the phrase before! I don't know ... maybe it's because I've been window shopping a lot lately trying to decide what I want to buy for new bean, but I keep seeing things like "easy for Dad, grandparents, and babysitters to use" ... what is it about Dads (and grandparents, and babysitters) that implies they aren't competent enough to change a cloth diaper?
My dh can snappi like the best of them - he can fold a kite fold in a second, snappi it on a wiggly toddler, and cover him up just about as fast as I can. The only difference is that he's not home all day changing diapers, but that doesn't mean he can't do it or that he needs "easy" diapers. And the grandparent thing really confuses me ... my parents (and my MIL - FIL didn't change anything!
) changed flats on my sister and me for the better part of 2 years ... and that was with PINS! I'm thinking they are also competent enough to put on a fitted and cover. I don't know ... maybe it's just me, but I'm thinking we need to raise the bar of expectations for dads, grandparents, and babysitters (heck, most of them can hack into large computer systems ... they should be able to also snap on a fitted and cover!), and give them a bit more credit.
 
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#3 ·
I think it's just that those people get a bit less practice than we do at changing diapers, so the learning curve might take longer. I know I probably change about 85% of DD's diapers. DH manages to get confused whenever any part of the diapering routine changes. Even sizing up in FB's threw him for a loop! And DH is definitely not incompetent - just lazy and not terribly interested.


And sometimes dads, grandparents, and babysitters need to be cajoled into using CDs. DH absolutely refuses to brave any diaper more complicated to use than a pocket or AIO. The easier the diaper is to use, the less likely you are to have an argument about cloth vs. sposies.
 
#4 ·
I joke about "easy for dad" not because my dh is incompetent, but because he doesn't do diapering all day like I do. Yes, he can learn to snappi, but if I can hand him a pre-stuffed pocket with aplix he doesn't need to learn how to do it. I figure he mows the lawn, cleans the gutters, rids the yard of moles, etc., I'll take care of the diapering
 
#5 ·
I personally never bought anything special for the grandparents or the dad. They used the same fitteds and wool covers I did.

However, I can understand for ease at a daycare or something, wanting an AIO-less steps, no way to confuse cover for fitted, no pins or snappying. It is closer to what most people's standard for diapers are (sposies) therefore seem to be user friendly to people who assume a diaper is plastic, smells funny and has velcro tabs. People might be less freaked out by one. But for my son's papa or your DH, a cloth diaper is standard, the norm. And easily picked up on and all I think.

ETA: Good point. Also may not be as invested or interested in what is what and sizing and doublers and all. Though my son's papa has favorites
 
#6 ·
sing it sister!

that's been bugging me for ages too. There are a lot of men out there who are super handy when it comes to mechanical things, what makes a diaper so hard to figure out?!? As for grandparents, our DD is the first grand all around. FIL practiced diapering a teddy bear so that he would be able to change his grandchild. My Mom used flats and thinks all our cloth is fabulous and could put any of it on no questions asked.

That being said, I myself quite dislike snaps. Give me aplix anyday!

I can however snappi a prefold on my 6 month old while she's sitting up. My DW hasn't managed to work that one out yet. I'm not sure who changes our DD more these days. I still prefer pockets though. Something about having made most of them...
 
#7 ·
My dh can snappi or pin a great bikini twisted prefold anyday, he just prefers not to. Our first two kids wore nearly all prefolds and pins, he changed them often from birth. I can jokingly toss him a prefold, he'll
and walk past me for a fitted. I don't really care which dipe he chooses
He knows the difference from a pocket, an AIO, and a fitted, a small explanation was all it took. That said if an AIO slipped into the fitted pile, he'd snap it up and cover it with wool, lol.
 
#8 ·
I guess it's just that we're usually the ones who do all the research and learn how to fold a prefold and how to tell a fitted from an AIO, etc. Some of us are lucky enough to have partners who have the patience and interest to let us share all this knowledge with them, but I think most of us have partners who would prefer that we just hand them something self-explanatory.
 
#9 ·
I haven't read the other posts yet, but here is my opinion on this....

It isn't that father's, grandparents, and babysitters can't use the "harder to use" diapers.. a lot of the time they just aren't willing to use them. (At least that is how it is in my family.) Dh wants a one step diaper just like a disposable - so he uses trifolded prefolds in velcro wraps on the boys. I have the diapers already put together for him so he can just grab one and velcro it on. Also, I find that with this system they are not grossed out about touching a wet diaper. (like when taking off a sopping wet prefold or fitted) They only have to touch the pul cover and then throw the whole thing in the pail.

You should see the diapering combinations that dh came up with prior to us using the trifolded prefolds....and then he couldn't figure out why the diapers leaked. (duh, if you put on a fitted with no cover and then don't change the baby for 2 hours it is going to leak right through his clothes.) He just didn't care to figure out how to use the other diapers right.
 
#10 ·
I agree withmylittlewonder, It is sort of presumptatious to assume that dads or grandparents couldn't change diapers easily. My mom used cloth on us. And as far as my dh goes, As long as I tell him which type dipes require a cover he's fine. Granted I usually have all the pockets stuffed, but when I don't he stuffs them himself and slaps one on dd.
 
#11 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by saratchka
And DH is definitely not incompetent - just lazy and not terribly interested.


Yep, that's my dh too. He wouldn't agree to use cloth unless he got a few pockets or aio's. He CAN snappi a prefold when that's all that's left and he does a pretty darn good job too. He just doesn't like them. So since I change 99% of the diapers in a day, I make sure to have what he likes when he changes one or two diapers. The way I see it, I wouldn't have a bunch of diapers that I don't like so why should he? If he likes pockets, well then I'll get them for him so he's comfortable changing Sara. I prefer fitteds so we have MOSTLY fitteds and wool and just a few pockets for dh. He reaches for a pocket first every single time he changes her. I think that it's much easier to hand reluctant grandparents or daycare providers or even reluctant husbands a pocket already stuffed or an aio so that they don't have to learn what needs a cover and what doesn't because 95% of the time, they aren't interested in learning, at least in our situation. My in-laws can't be bothered to learn about cloth and really do NOT understand my desire for cloth, much less my obsession with cloth. My husband has been dragged into cloth kicking and screaming for 9 months now and he STILL coulnd't tell you what needs a cover and what doesn't if you hand him some new diapers that aren't ours. He's memorized what I do just from seeing it all the time so he gets it right but hand him two diapers from someone else's stash and
. So I don't try to explain it to him, I just get him what he likes!


Meg
 
#14 ·
My mil used cloth on her kids (flats, pins, rubber pants) and looks at what I have and is completely baffled. There is definitley a learning curve- even with aios. It is amazing what my dh has come up with. He likes that we cd our children, but his passion doesn't run as deep as mine so I don't think he really cares to pay attention to the differences of what a fitted, aio, cover and prefolds are. I am fully confident that he could use a snappi, but I really don't think he gets as excited as I do over fluff and therefore really doesn't make the effort to learn. As the primary diaper changer in my house I am not offended by easy for dh, grandparents, babysitters etc. Before I became the diaper diva that I am now (LOL) I did not understand how to use them either, so the easier system the better.
Hope this makes sense!
 
#16 ·
You know I think it is a lot for dads who don't want to use cloth......if it's easier, then they might be more willing.

My dh was willing to give it a shot when I bought my first prefolds and covers. Now, I have a variety of diapers and he is more willing to reach for a prefold still over any other type of diapers. He actually really doesn't like pockets, but I think that has a lot to do with snaps more than anything. However, if "his" star wars AIO is clean, he reaches for that above everything else
!

Meghann
 
#17 ·
I hear what you're saying--that phrase annoys me too. Though I must confess my own DP was "prefold averse" until just recently. But there are plenty of mamas here who don't like prefolds either, so I don't think the time it took him to warm up to them was necessarily due to having a y chromosome!
He does get a little histrionic when changing poopy diapers though, which is what spurred me to get those paper liners for when he was on diaper duty.

I do think it's important to be sensitive to the preferences of all the people who will be changing your baby's diaper. My fear when leaving my children with someone who is used to sposies/a little tentative about using CD is that they will leave the kids sitting in soiled diapers, so I do want to make the diaper changing as easy as possible for them. And childcare providers are busy so I want to make things as easy for them as possible even if they are totally cool about using CD (for the record my son's preschool teachers actually prefer trifolded prefolds in wraps to FB because they don't have to snap).
 
#18 ·
I know my dh CAN do it. he just WON"T do it.
and agaist all my femist beliefes, I have succumbed to it, because I made the choice to use cloth with the girls.
He will change a fuzzibunz, because they are easy, But otherwise forget it.
It is thelast thing he cares about.
Now grandmom- My mom amd MIL both cd'd dh and I respectively.
They can fold a prefold or a flat like it ain't no thing! and my mom actually managed to cut her finger on a snappi
, and said, "oh forget it, just give me some pins!"
No problem for me, I am good with a set of pins.
i actually still have mine frome my baby stuff and use them on the girls when i get on a prefold kick.
Unfortunatly, only one of the husbands in my ap group are as good as yours seems to be, Britt.
otherwise we all seem to get the."whatever
: "
But If we stick with it and promote it, hey we can get them to see it as commonplace and thus not a big deal.
I tried to use the old"You are supposed to fluch poop anyway even with a sposie" on him, and he just laughed. Probably b/c on the rare day that i use on, I am like on a get outta jail free card"whoo hoo!" and I dump it in a little ball in a blue bag m'self.
Not that I consider it jail(cd'ing) I am addicted actually

Mom says it is a maternal"thing" floding and washing thier lil' nappies. it is part of the whole shebang for our family. Like BF.
I've rambled enough. Good thread!
 
#20 ·
M y dh is the most enthusiastic cd'er I could have hoped for, and certainly competent. Although he is stuck with a wife who likes to try every neat thing she sees, so we sometimes end up with strange combinations, like the day he didn't put a cover over the fitted because with a cute print, he thought it must be an AIO. Or last night, when he put a cover over an AIO and topped the whole thing with a wool soaker.
Hey, I'm just happy to have a dh who gets up in the middle of the night to change diapers!
 
#21 ·
I'll trade you all with competent husbands. My husband can fly a plane, but you should have seen the first DISPOSABLE diaper he put on our son.
Now, he's willing to use an already-stuffed-FB as long as I shake the poop off for him. Contours, Snappis, covers - he's not planning on even trying to figure out.
 
#22 ·
My DH doesn't like to use the Snappi, he always ends up asking the older kids to do it (yes, my 12 and 10 year old are PROS at the prefolds and Snappi)
. My mom was totally supportive of cloth diapering and was an enthusiastic student in "modern" cloth diapering practices, so I haven't had any problems there.
 
#23 ·
Great responses ... I guess in some ways I'm very fortunate to have my dh willing to figure it all out with me.
I still don't get dh's that don't do diapers (my FIL has yet to change a diaper - he's gone through 2 kids and 2 grandkids and hasn't touched one yet!) ... and glad my dh isn't one of them.
 
#24 ·
my dh is great with diapers, but my mother (who, FTR, CD'd my older brother and sister with flats, pins, and rubber pants) could never seem to master the concept that the whole diaper had to be under the cover if she wanted dd's clothes to stay dry. i actually bought a bunch of pockets to use when she went to gmas house (two days a week when i was still working) because i got tired of picking her up and having her be soaking wet.
 
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