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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I worked right up to my due date. I worked that Friday, went into labor that night! Dd is now 8 weeks old. I am scheduled to return to work Jan 10. I don't want to. I cry every time I think of it. Financially, I have to. Dh was just hired after not being able to find work for several months. What he is making now isn't enough for us to live on. Dh will actually be able to spend most of the day with dd and drop her off with my mil for three hours or so in the afternoon.<br>
I am feeling terribly guilty for going back to work. I don't want to miss a minute of my daughter's life. I've been nursing on demand, co sleeping...now I'll have to miss 9 hours of my girl's day? I'll probably miss her first word, step etc... Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh<br>
I don't think anyone can take as good care of her as I can, even dh! I know that is probably a wrong attitude, but it's how I feel.<br>
I plan to pump and give her bm in a bottle while I'm at work, but the thought of pumping depresses me. Who wants to sit with machinery? I want to sit with my baby!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Thia</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't think anyone can take as good care of her as I can, even dh! I know that is probably a wrong attitude, but it's how I feel.</div>
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I don't know if this will help you feel better, but my husband has acutally expressed appreciation for the time he gets to spend with our daughter alone. He says that when I'm home I'm the favorite, but if I'm not home then dd loves him best.<br><br>
9 hrs away is kind of a long time. 6 would work out better for breast feeding. Is there any way you could work 3/4 time?<br><br>
--AmyB
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>AmyB</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">9 hrs away is kind of a long time. 6 would work out better for breast feeding. Is there any way you could work 3/4 time?<br><br>
--AmyB</div>
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Or could you delay your return date by another few weeks? There are a few different things you can usually do to make the transition a little easier.<br><br>
I know it is hard. With my first, I had more flexibility about my return date, and I delayed a couple of times, so it was less hard to go back (believe me, it was still hard!). With my second, our finances were tighter, and I was very afraid that my job would go away if I took a lengthy leave, so I returned when dd#2 was just under four months. I still remember that first day, sitting in the office and crying all day long. It was horrible. BUT it does get more managable, and you do make the most of your time together with your child(ren).<br><br>
Sorry if this is a downer post. I didn't mean for it to be. More <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> to you!<br><br>
Mia
 

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more <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> s your way.<br><br>
I had a lot more flexibility so I can't even begin to know how you're feeling right now. Hang in there.. and if there is anything you can do to delay your going back just a few weeks (Yes a few weeks will make a big difference) i'd highly recommend it for your own sanity.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> to you.<br><br>
I know exactly what you are going through. I had to return to work when my DS was only a few months old. I held off as long as possible to tell them that I actually missed paychecks. My DH is currently staying with DS. It was hard the first day but I have found that it has worked out even better than I hoped. My DH was not excited at first to be staying at home but he has ended up loving it. They have an even better relationship now. Also my DS is still Mommy's boy. When he is upset or not feeling well he comes to me for comfort. Also he "knows" when I am due home and will not feed from the bottle and has a big feed when I get through the door. In fact he cries if I do not pick him up immediately upon arriving :LOL. I have found it to be better than I thought but I still wish that I could be at home with him full time.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Dh's job is fairly new, so he thought he'd be able to be home with her during the day...now it looks like it might not work out that way. She might have to spend the whole day with mil.<br>
As for working less, it isn't really an option. I am the only person in my dept. The person who is my back up is completely overwhelmed right now and can't even keep up with her own job plus mine.<br>
I am so miserable this morning. I just snapped at dh.
 

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One other bit of advice...Please, please don't spend your precious time with DD worrying about returning to work. Again, I know it is easier said than done, but you and your baby (and your DH) deserve to enjoy every minute that you have together. Don't use this time worrying.<br><br>
Hang in there!<br><br>
Mia
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bawling.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bawl"> It's so unfair. I went back to work at 8 weeks and I hate not being able to be with my son.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Last night we reassessed everything and dh will try to return to his old job which would allow him to be home with her just about all day. If that doesn't work, he will quite when I go back to work and look for a night job. Everything will be just fine...deep breath...smile
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s momma it is so difficult to be away.<br><br>
in my experience, the unknown of what it would be like was much worse than the reality.
 

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lots of <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> s for you.<br><br>
I went back to work 3 months ago. Hardest thing I've ever done. My dd still cries for 15-20 min. before crying herself to sleep ( I work for 3 hours at night). I swear every night on the way to work that I'm quitting but it isn't financially possible. Enjoy your time now and good luck!!
 
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