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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My 6 yo constantly has me feeling this way.<br><br>
He constantly argues about everything all the time, for example last night at bedtime it was<br><br>
having a bath - he did not have one<br>
having a shower - he eventually did have one (as he went swimming that morning and his skin is bothered by chlorine if he doesnt shower in the evening after)<br>
using soap in the shower (which he enetually did)<br>
putting his pj's on after the shower (he insisted he was going to wear his day clothes to bed)<br><br>
and when i say argue i mean screaming fit, in fact every request or anything dh and i say is met with completely opposition. his behaviour is making the entire family miserable as he spends so much time screaming and shouting and arguing it makes happy family life impossible sometimes.<br><br>
this morning he came downstairs and started arguing to watch more tv, he had already watched a whole film, he argued that he wouldnt eat breakfast with the family and would not wait literally 3 minutes while i dished up the panckaes, he screamed and argued about tv, about getting dressed, about absolutely everything i can think of, from the moment he came downstairs he was shouting and crying and being miserable about something, and kept switching what he was upset about to somethng new.<br><br>
and then suddenly he will snap out of it like somebody flicked a switch inside him.<br><br>
i have absoutely no idea what to di with him, he seems to purposely ask for or demand things he cannot have or talk to us in a way we do not like in order to get some sort of reaction from us. when we do not react to his behaviour he will just shout louder and louder and cry more and more until we respond in an angry way. all the empathy, distraction, and patience in the world gets me absolutely nowehere.<br><br>
it is like there is an underlying problem but how the heck do i find out what it is?<br><br>
it may be tiredness as he really has a hard time settling to sleep at night and has trouble slowing down enough to get to sleep. and then wakes up reasonably early in the morning. this may also be mixed with the fact that he is very bright (he is 6 but with the reading age of a 8 or 9 year old and is able to do the same sort of maths as 8 - 9 year olds)<br><br>
so - what do i do??? and please tell me i am not the only one who ever feels completely out their depth parenting their child.
 

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My 5 year old acted like that, but the dramas turned from screaming to hitting & throwing things too. She had the same trouble at bed time, being too wound up to go to sleep & then having a huge drama before switching off & going to sleep.<br><br>
We took her off refined sugar and started talking about how she was over-reacting to situations. It's like she's a different kid now. I'm not saying that your ds is reacting to sugar, could be something else in his diet, but definitely look into how what he's eating affects his behavior.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>oliversmum2000</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7269555"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">thank you i will definitely give it serious thought<br><br>
how do i recognise which foods contain refined sugar?</div>
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Just about everything does! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Pay attention to the ingredients list. I've switched to using sugar substitutes when baking (Splenda) and buying sugar free just about everything else. No aspartame (bad for young children's brain development). Almost everything comes in a sugar free version.
 

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My son is similar to this as well. He has a hard time following directions and then has melt downs when he is redirected or things do not go his way. I have been eliminating a lot of foods from his diet - especailly artificial stuff - to see if it makes any difference.<br><br>
But he also argues with me a lot, and I think it is because he learned somewhere along the way that he could win and get his way - so I have been trying to be much more consistent with my "no's" and my follow through so that I can build back up my "authority" and so he will realize when I say something, arguing is not an option.
 

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It does sound like how my ds acts when he isn't getting plenty of sleep. Helping a child get enough sleep sure is difficult! Keeping things calm in the evening is the only thing I can think of that might be helpful. This would include not trying to get him to do things he doesn't want to do since it will make it harder for him to fall asleep and keeps things in a vicious cycle. I probably would have tried to get him to rinse off (is there a place to do that right after swimming?) and left it at that. I personally think dressing the night before is a brilliant way to be efficient and streamline morning preparations.
 

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My son is also 6, and has been this way since birth. It is worse if he doesn't get enough protein (we found sugar didn't really make a big difference IF he had enough protein first), but even when his diet is good it's still a problem. My husband and i make a point of spending at least 30 minutes a day one-on-one doing whatever he wants, which also helps, but isn't a cure. Eager to hear more responses....
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
i will definitely try to ensure he gets more protien, i am very big on vegetables but have never given much thought to protien.<br><br>
i have at least 1 hour alone with him every day. hius younger sibs both go to bed at 7pm every night very easily and i read with him, talk to him, maybe do a puzzle and just spend some quiet relaxing time with him for between 1 and 1 1/2 hours every day.<br><br>
i have noticed it is mainly around transitions and hunger so i will try to focus on these times, and maybe i will try to stay calmer and more positive with him, but it can be sooooo hard when you have somebody who is going out of their way to argue with you.
 

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Remove all corn products from diet, including corn syrop, monodextrose, etc.
 

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My dd is four. I also took her off sugar--it IS in everything--and the dramas are nearly gone. And when they are here, they are completely manageable.<br><br>
For what it's worth, I do think being bright has something to do with it. My friends really smart six-year-old also has huge melt downs. So does my very bright dd--reads on a second grade level, I'd guess. My best thought on it is that can't be as easily tricked--distracted or given happy choices. Like, "Do you want to wear your blue pajamas or your red pajamas?" Doesn't work because our kids don't cheerfully pick a color. They say, "Actually, I'd prefer to wear my day clothes" or the one pair of pajamas at the bottom of the laundry pile.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>oliversmum2000</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7269524"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">this morning he came downstairs and started arguing to watch more tv, he had already watched a whole film....</div>
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Does he have a TV in his room? Just wondering since you said he had already watched a whole film before breakfast. If he does and is watching it before bed, it could be affecting his sleep.<br><br>
Has he always been like this? Or is it something that just started recently?
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lindberg99</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7273064"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Does he have a TV in his room? Just wondering since you said he had already watched a whole film before breakfast. If he does and is watching it before bed, it could be affecting his sleep.<br><br>
Has he always been like this? Or is it something that just started recently?</div>
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we had the computer in the main bedroom and as it was sunday morning and we were all tired we decided to watch a film.<br><br>
he has always been prone to anger, i know there is some underlying problem and that he is not angry about what he thinks he is angry about when he flits from one thing that he wants to another and then to another without really seeming to know why he is angry and frustrated.<br><br>
he finds it very hard to snap out of it, bu when he does you could be forgiven for thinking you had imagined the previous hour or so where all he did was look for something to argue about.
 

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Could be food intolerances, allergies, or sensory integration problems. Also, spirited or highly sensitive kids also have a problem with all of the above. My ds uses soap only on his hands, the rest just gets rinsed. And he never showers, only bathes.<br><br>
I know anger is definitely a common food reaction sign, especially to wheat/dairy.
 

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I think we have the same son. Your posts are my life.<br><br>
I'm going to try the beef-up-the-protein route before working out/down the sugar (he's our carb addict).
 

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In addition to the food stuff, I would also let him have some of the control he wants. If he had a bath the night before is it really horrible if the doesn't have a bath/shower that night(aside from the chlorine thing). If he wants to wear his play clothes to bed, providing they aren't dirty, is it really that bad? Is it worth the fight?
 
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