This all happened yesterday, but I was too shook up to write. I was at the park with dd and ds yesterday evening, and it was time to go. Can you guess what comes next? I always give dda 5 min warning that we're leaving, but now she's finally talking (30mo) she goes around saying 2 mama, 2 mama (2 minutes). So I knew she was gonna give me a hard time. Fast forward, I ended up being one of those parents that I would be judging. I've got tears in my eyes just thinking about it. I had to pull her out of the sand she was lying in face down by her dress and carry her off like a sack of potatoes under my arm (all this carrying 20 lb 5 mo old ds). She was 5 ft from the busy street 2 times, I had to lay ds down on the grass and run after her. Whenever I let her down, (it seemed like an eternity to the car) she would run back, laughing of course. I was almost in tears. Of course I can feel people eyes burning a hole in my head. We finally got to the car, and she's just crying, I tell her it's such hard work to be naughty. DD and ds cry the whole way home.
To top it off, I was talking to my mom and after telling her about how I had just had a horrible day, she starts talking about stuff I do not want to talk about, and of course, then I'm being a bitch, again! Oh, once dh got home he took over and I just crawled into bed and cried.
Feeling like a failure of a mother, failure of a daughter, failure of a wife. Just thinking everyone is always telling me how bad I am. Ugh!!!!!
What made yesterday especially so icky for me is I was so on the verge. I have never and will never lay a hand on my dc, but yesterday I felt I could understand why people do. That's what made it the worst, and why I'm feeling so bad today, because that feeling came into me
Thanks for listening. Just needed to get that out.
To top it off, I was talking to my mom and after telling her about how I had just had a horrible day, she starts talking about stuff I do not want to talk about, and of course, then I'm being a bitch, again! Oh, once dh got home he took over and I just crawled into bed and cried.
Feeling like a failure of a mother, failure of a daughter, failure of a wife. Just thinking everyone is always telling me how bad I am. Ugh!!!!!
What made yesterday especially so icky for me is I was so on the verge. I have never and will never lay a hand on my dc, but yesterday I felt I could understand why people do. That's what made it the worst, and why I'm feeling so bad today, because that feeling came into me

Thanks for listening. Just needed to get that out.