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I feel like such a horrible mom :(

1478 Views 30 Replies 28 Participants Last post by  Beauchamp
I yelled at my 6.5 month old DD last night. I just lost it and couldn't take it anymore. It was the third time she'd woken me up crying and screaming in a 60 minute period and I was just so exhausted from a near sleepless week. I've been averaging four hours a night for the past two weeks. I just snapped.
I feel like I haven't finished a full sleep cycle in two weeks!

I feel so guilty and so ashamed of myself. I sat there next to her in bed listening to her scream and cry for ten minutes before I could pull myself together to comfort her. I just wanted to rip my hair out.

She's teething really bad, so that's why she's having such a fitful time sleeping... at least I think. Plus she's suddenly in this separation anxiety stage, even in the middle of the night. She sleeps in her side carred crib and that just seemed too far away for her last night. When I pulled her into bed with me to snuggle the rest of the night she only woke up once to eat. The rest of the night, if I felt her stir I'd rest my hand on her chest and she'd settle back into a deeper sleep.

Bad mommy
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I'm sorry mama! I know how you feel! Sleep has just been awful for the last two weeks here too. Yesterday morning I was soooo tired and frustrated with not getting any sleep i just put ds in his high chair to get a cup of coffee and he started to fuss, I turned to him and said 'stop it!' in a not- so nice tone... I felt really bad. It's hard to be a mom and take care of someone 24/7 when all you want is just one stretch of sleep that lasts longer than 2 hours to regroup yourself. (((((hugs)))))
It happens don't beat yourself up.
I've read your posts on the High Needs Babies thread, and I can tell what a loving mom you are as well as what a handful your DD has been. I know how awful it feels to catch yourself acting impulsively, but we do all have our I'm-only-human-moments. It would only be a problem if you yelled and didn't feel bad about it.

I hope the teething phase passes soon!
I don't think there is a mom alive who has not lost it once. Don't beat yourself up, it's hard when you are exhausted.
It's happened to me. Yes they are only babies but we are only human and can only take so much. I hope you find a way to recharge your batteries.
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Sleep deprivation is HARD. It changes a person - *temporarily*. Please, please, forgive yourself and move on. It is the best thing you can do for you and your baby!
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Defintely don't be so hard on yourself - but I think the fact that you are beating yourself up, that you do feel bad about it, makes you a GREAT mommy, not a terrible one. It means you really care.
Hang in there, mama.
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We all know that feeling/have been there. Next time wake up your husband in anyway you see fit and get some back-up! I daydream of kicking the bed and yelling GET UP or shoving him out of bed. In real life though I ask nicer. My daughter is high needs as well, and wants nothing to do with daddy at night, but he'll take her long enough so I can get myself pulled together. After all we are all super moms, but even Batman has Robin.
In our house, we ALL apologize when we lose our tempers, not only do the boys have to apologize to me if they are rude, but I apologize to them if I yell/snap/etc. I think it helps to model expected behavior, and teaches them that not even mommy is perfect.

So start now! Apologize to her, snuggle with her, and start again.

We've all done it at one point or another, you're NOT a bad mommy, you're a normal exhausted mommy!!
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First FORGIVE YOURSELF! Take a deep breath...everyone is fine.

Just wanted to say that my daughter started having really fitful nights at 6 months and I thought it was teething. I finally brought her to the doctor and it turned out she had a bad ear infection. She was EBF and had no fever or other signs of an ear infection. She was just super moody and couldnt sleep. Just thought it might be something to consider.
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I remember yelling at DS1 in the middle of the night when he would not go to sleep. I think he was around 3 weeks? Not my best parenting moment, for sure. I think most mamas have been there, it can be hard in the middle of the night when all we want is some much needed sleep! Don't be too hard on yourself.
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As others aptly noted, you sound like a thoughtful, caring mommy!
My middle child was a high needs baby/ is a high need child and it is TOUGH! I snap every few months when my reserves are just empty...

Hang in there!
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my mom has a similar story about me as a baby...and when she retells it she always mentions how horrible she was and how bad she felt, and how she just snapped and yelled at me.

trust me...30-some years later and i don't remember a thing!
like everyone has said we've all been there...
After a sleepless night with DD I tried to change her poopy diaper in the morning and she was rolling and screaming so much she get it everywhere. All over herself and me and the floor and everything. I lost it and just turned by back on her for a minute to scream at nothing something along the lines of "s*** dammit dammit dammit!!!"....I felt awful but I knew that it wouldn't be the last time I lost it temporarily.

Take care mama! Honestly sometimes I just have to walk away and take a deep breath in the bedroom or something.

The teething phase is hard. Well, lots of phases are hard! Don't beat yourself up.
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sleep deprivation is horrible.... I have totally been where you are. Seriously i have literally felt like throwing both my children out the window on several occasions during the middle of the night. It gets better, nap nap nap nap when you can, it helps.
We all have been there mama. In fact I was just there last night. There is a reason sleep deprivation is a form of torture.
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You have my great sympathy and understanding! I've hit that breaking point probably a half dozen times since DD was born and have raised my voice or used a sharp tone with her. I feel terrible about each and every time. I don't want to be a short-tempered mommy but it's so hard without any rest. The lack of sleep is easily the hardest experience of my life. I'm sorry you had a bad night. Go easy on yourself!
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