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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
At the end of each cycle I get all excited and want to talk baby stuff with people; then my period comes and I feel like a loser and I wish I hadn't told anyone we were trying. "Are you pregnant yet?" NO. What use is it to read the best books on child development and figure out the perfect cloth diapering system if I'm not going to ever have a baby? That's how I feel.
 

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Awww, Julia. I'm so sorry this has been such a hard road for you. I guess you could call me a loser too: see, i buy all kinds of newborn diapers, baby clothes, etc. Doing this gives me hope and helps me keep a feeling of control over a process that is essentially out of my hands. I think it is absolutely fantastic that you are reading baby books and researching diapering right now! Not that you can truly be 'prepared' to have a new baby, but at least you will have some idea of what you're in for, and some goals for parenting (such as diapering, bf'ing, cosleeping, etc). Have you been to see a specialist or had any tests done, yet?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
No, not yet. We've only been trying for 5 calendar months (just started cycle 7).
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
I know how you feel.<br><br>
My standard answer is to tell people that IF I am pregnant I will tell them. It doesn't help people still ask. Which means I then launch into a graphic description of my last IUI....and then funny enough they shut up. :LOL<br><br>
5 months isn't too long. I know they seem like forever though. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s Julia, TTCing is such a pain in the ass!!! I was trying on and off for 3(probably a total of about 15 months together) years before I became pregnant, and it is sooo hard, especially when you see all the people around you getting pregnant. Your time will come. If you are really worried about something being wrong, or even if you just have a gut feeling, go see a doctor, getting tested and being told that everything is okay can be a really nice feeling. And if they find out something is off, that gives you a chance to fix it.<br><br>
Good luck on your journey,<br>
Kailia
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I am kind of thinking the problem may be with the swimmers. I don't want to pressure dh, but he wants a baby as badly as I do so he may be willing to get tested if it doesn't happen in a couple more months. Plus it's not like the testing would be unpleasant for him. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blush.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="blush">
 

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Well, getting that tested is one of the easiest things to do, and like you said, not unpleasant for him, unlike some the horrible things they do to test fertility in women. I would convince him to get tested, he doesn't even have to bring it in, you can do all that for him...
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Oh, congratulations on YOUR pregnancy, Kailia! I just now noticed that in your signature. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
Where would I bring in the sample? To the family doctor? To my gynecologist? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="headscratch">
 

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Hi Julia<br>
I usually post on the 30+ what the @#$^& thread...<br>
When we did the SA's for dh, we took the samples to the local hospital. There needs to be less than two hours between collection and the lab getting it, and it needs to be kept at body temperature as much as possible.<br><br>
I understand the feeling like a loser thing. The only people I know IRL who have not conceived super easily don't want kids anyway...although my sister has had two ectopics and one very early m/c. But it was never that long between pregnancies. She has two beautiful boys now.<br><br>
But I do agree with the women who encouraged you to get some tests done. I resisted for months and months and regret it, because now I'm starting on my 20th cycle of trying. Especially if you have insurance, I would say go to an ob and get a basic fertility work-up. But that's just my opinion, you know what's best for you! Good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Well, dh and I finally started talking about it, got it out in the open.<br><br>
He said he talked about it with his boss (!!! men talk about these things with each other at work???), and his boss said they make you go into a room with pornographic magazines and tapes. This idea makes dh very, very, very, very uncomfortable, so he suggested I get tested first. I refused, pointing out that 3 years' worth of charts prove I've been ovulating, and that the tests they give to women are painful, complicated, and expensive. I said we don't have to worry about this yet, we can wait until he's ready, but he's got to be the first one to go in.<br><br>
Okay, so we live two blocks from the hospital, one block from my doctor, and maybe six blocks from my gynecologist. Surely they'll let him go home? Whom do you think I would contact to get the ball rolling if it came to that?
 

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our RE let DH do the deed at home, we just had to get his donation to the clinic within 30 minutes. DH made me take it in, he was too embarrassed, lol. If it takes any pressure off you, on average, it takes 6 months to conceive. If you're going to go the route of talking to your physician about it, you may find that s/he will want to hear you've been trying longer before they send you for tests. Where I live, it's a year of TTC that qualifies you for further investigation, though with our family history (my sister took Clomid, my mother took fertility meds), I got referred to an RE after 6 months.<br><br>
Good luck, I know TTC can suck...<br><br>
susie <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
What is an RE?<br><br>
When I had my annual exam in June, the gynecologist told me to come back in 4 months if we hadn't conceived after perfect timing of intercourse.
 

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I think RE = Reproductive Endocrinologist. At any rate it's a specialist in babymaking. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
It took us almost 2 years of active TTCing to conceive our DS, after many, many years of random, unprotected sex, lol. With this second pregnancy we got pregnant the first month of half-hearted trying, it was actually embarassing how quickly I got pg. I'm telling you this just to illustrate how things go sometimes. Trying for 5 months and not getting pg is not at all unusual, although I know it seems like forever. But if you want to get checked out, by all means do it. The only reason I would advise against it is for the emotional stress it can cause. I would be hesitant to "medicalize" the procedure until I felt it was really necessary.
 

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The place my husband did his SA at a hospital. It was a clean room.. and yes there was porn.. but it wasn't sitting out on the table, it was in a drawer. if he chose to look at it, then he could. It's not like your husband will be at a porn shop, or a whore house. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> He can choose to look at it or not.<br><br>
I think it's high time men get over being embarrassed by this stuff. IT'S NORMAL!! it's just sex! For crying out loud. we have to have someone up in our business at least once a year.. and once you start getting fertility tests done, it's amazing how often someon wants your pants off. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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Juila - I keep reading that 1/2 of all fertility issues are male-related. I understand that this may be embarassing for your dh, but he should understand that the tests you have to go through are much more embarassing and humiliating (not to mention painful). Women have to give blood, let someone poke at their innards, have sperm sucked out of their uteruses, have dye shot up their cervixs, have gas injected into their uteruses through their belly buttons, etc., etc., etc. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
I understand not wanting to medicalize the process, but since his test is so easy and so quick, it could answer a lot of questions really early on in the process so you aren't wondering. Your charts show you are ovluating, so if you know his swimmers are o.k., then you can check a few things off your "worry list." I know my dh felt really good and manly when he learned, after we had been ttc for over a year, that his swimmers were of good quality, quantity, and speed. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
Plus, five months is not really so long (although it feels much longer, I know). I understand that where everything is working perfectly with both couples and sex is timed perfectly, there's only a 25% chance each cycle of conceiving. So, try to give yourself a break too!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 
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