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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I took dd to her first dentist appt. today - for a checkup, since I suspected demineralization (is that what it's called?).... I chose a pediatric dentist out of the phone book after asking just a few questions on the phone... ugh - boy, what a stupid thing to do! In the future, i will always meet a practiioner of whatever sort in person before i schedule an apptmt.! I thought dd (she's 2) would respond better to a woman than a man, so that was part of my thinking in all of this... anyway - dd and i talked about how the dentist was going to be nice and just look in her mouth and that seemed ok with her..... so, i should have known it'd be challenging when she started to cry as we get out of the car. We go in and she calms down as there's lots of toys and things that look fun - so far so good. As I'm at the front desk, I see who I assume (correctly) to be the dentist, speaking with one of her staff about proceedures. She seemed rather stern and humorless and I got a nervous feeling, but told myself that often employers take a firm tone w/employees. So, she comes in to the reception area after I'm done w/paperwork and introduces herself and leads us to the exam area. Immediately, dd begins to protest and cry, and basically becomes somewhat hysterical. At this point, part of me wants to just call it quits and go home and comfort dd, and part of me is telling me to tough it out and just get through it ASAP. I did the later, holding dd down do the dentist can look in her mouth. I have never seen her so upset in my/her life! She was so scared and the dentist was not seemingly understanding at all - sort of manhandling her to look in her mouth. I understand it's a difficult situation, but I felt like I was betraying her trust to keep her safe - she was clearly not feeling safe!!!! The dentist put a flouride (laquer ? what did she call it - sounded horrid!) on her teeth - a yellowish sticky gel stuff... and then it was mostly over. Dd was still sobbing, and I had to go in to the dentists office and hear her report. Which I won't go into right now, because I don't have it in front of me. But at the bottom of the form is a place where she indicates the temperament of the child, from good, cooperative, apprehensive and DEFIANT (which is what she circled).... DEFIANT!?!?!?!?! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/splat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="splat"> How about terrified? No comforting words, no gentleness.... Needless to say we won't be going back there!!! I just feel so bad about the whole thing - poor dd cried for probably 5-10 min. after we got into the car. She seems ok now of course, but oh, the worste day of my parenting life! I just needed to talk about this with others who can understand where I'm comming from..... Thanks if you made it this far~
 

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I am so sorry that you had such a negative experience.<br>
Thankfully, our dc's live so in the moment, and since you won't be seeing that dentist again, perhaps you can move on, without issue, to a more compassionate dentist.<br>
You know how all the advice says to find your pediatrician before your baby is born? The same goes for dentist's. They are all not alike!<br>
Keep in mind when you start looking for another, that Smilemomma, who is a general dentist, says that kids don't necessarily need a ped dentist. A general dentist who is great with children can serve you fine, sometimes better than those stern ped dentists.<br>
Just so you know, many dentists use the method of the first exam where the parent and dentist sit knees to knees and the child sits in the parents lap, facing the parent. Then the child lays their head back into the dentist's lap. Much more comforting for the child, cuz you can hold their hands and they are still "attached" to you.<br>
And then, of course, when the work is done, there are a LOT of options and methods depending on the dentist.<br>
These archives have immense amounts of crucial information for you, if you need pointers, say so.<br>
Good luck in this dental journey. And keep brushing <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shine.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="toothy"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/tb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="brush">
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
malmamama - thanks for the encouragement! We did sit knee to knee, but that didn't seem to help the situation at all <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> ... she sort of got a vice grip on dd's head <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"> anyway - yes, I need to cruise the archives and do more homework before I attempt any more dental visits! and for what it's worth, I'm pretty sure this gal does not have any kids of her own - just my very strong intuitive hit....
 
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