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I feel so bad -VERY LONG

406 Views 6 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  PikkuMyy
I don't know what I can do ..

Dh has FMLA so he can take care of me when he needs to -we do our best to not use it unless necessary
this has been a really bad week and today I was in waay too much pain to drive myself to my dr appts..

His coworkers are really annoyed ( these are the same people who want things yesterday but when dh needs their part of stuff to get things fixed they can't be bothered) and it pisses me off because for the last 5 years dh has been the one who worked 10-10/9-11p
Has worked in others places so they could go to parties ( yes parties) dr appts, their kids games etc

Recently two other workers have been off more than he has with new baby and new house

( and yes he is more senior than the ones who are being whiny)

I understand he is the main linchpin of many things but why is ok for other people to do what they need to and no one bitches but if dh takes care of his family he is public enemy number 1?

They saw me at the company party and saw that I can't even dance with my dh anymore

And dh works his tail off and on the days he takes care of me he works from home ( which is another beef he was supposed to get to work from home 2/3 days a week two weeks a month and that went to file 13)

He has literally made the company millions ( bonuses and awards to prove it)
He works while we are waiting in the offices with lt and email unit making sure that q's are answered etc

I can't hire someone because I never know when I will wake up and have a day where I can't drive etc and no one wants to sit around wondering if they will get a call

Is there anything I can do ? I can't apologize to his co-workers -well I guess I could but he tells me it isn't my fault how ill I am so I shouldn't have to apologize for it but still I keep thinking I should ..

I mean he covers all bases if he has to deal with things here so why do they have to be so damn snotty especially since for most of them everyone else has to grin and deal with them being out and just go on?
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I wish I had more to offer you than empathy, but I don't. Your husband"s right, though - you've done nothing to apologize for; you are coping with a debilitating illness, and cannot bo held in anyway responsible for needing your husband. As for your husbands fellow employees, they'll just have to suck it up -get with the program or move on, so to speak.
Sorry you're dealing with this.
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I know what you mean. At DH's work others will not blink an eye if they get time off to play a game of ball at lunch, or go house searching, or many other things. but when he needs to help me or our kids out they don't get it. Like he shouldn't have to do anything family related. it is so annoying

I feel for you. Dont' let it get you down- just ignore them and do what you need to do. As long as your DH's supervisor is "in the know" and cool with it you're set.
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IMO I cant see why you couldnt hire someone. In our area there are people who do spur of the moment work and love it.

Mostly older retired poeple but there are housewives who want some spare cash once in awhile but not a full time job.

Your local job service should be able to assist in finding somebody.

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I have talked with a few of the moms who do the errand taxi thing
but most don't want to go that far others don't want to do spur of the moment and i can understand that
I don't like spur of the moment myself
All of my drs/specalists are in the next city over and the two that would charge more than I can afford
Soon dh will be taking his permit test and if I have done things right he will pass it

But he has to drive with dh several hours before he can be my 'driver"
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I got test results back monday and had another done and there is more to add to the laundry list and because of those have to have yet another one
I am tired of being a guinea pig
I didn't like the dr who was to do the stomach cancer test and today found out the one I want isn't taking new patients until 2 weeks possibly

and also mom to l&a we have tried for six months on the finding someone thing which is why I know all of the above...
Hey there,

I just wanted to add some hugs! (I don't have any access to smilies for some reason unless I know the code myself...)

I am so lucky because my husband works at home so on the days when my IC flares (or my asthma, or my migraines), he can be there to get my medication, he always takes me to the dr., etc. I am forever grateful for this (and for the fact that we have a car.)

I'm really sorry that your husband's co-workers aren't as supportive as they shoudl be. They're probably not because they do half-a$$ed jobs so when your hubbie isn 't there, the work doesn't get done properly. People always take advantage of people like that.

I hope things get better, and at least he can use FMLA!

: hugs PM
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