[waiting2bemommy]

Right now i am staying in a shelter with a whole bunch of other women and children, and yesterday a girl came in with her two children. She was very sweet and kind to her children, but I noticed that the little boy did not seem able to talk. He is three and a half and talks like this:"nana mamayayaya da you?" Maybe one intelligible word for every 6-10 unintelligible, if that. I know that I was correct in assuming he has a speech delay because the shelter daycare refused to take him because of this problem. I didn't know this though until after the fact.

Anyway, because i have worked with kids with speech issues (by the way he has excellent receptive language) I sort of went into that mode and was playing with him and ds and trying to encourage him to use his language. He seemed to me to be really compliant and eager to talk and be understood.

So when he and ds trottd off to play (he was very good with my ds who is only 16 months) i casually asked his mom if she had noticed any issues with his speech. I normally don't comment on even the most obvious problems, but I just couldn't help myself. She didnt' seem offended, but when i asked her if she had looked into speech therapy, she seemed a little bit defensive, although still receptive to talking about it.

I did tell her that I used to work in a special needs classroom, althoug I am by no means an expert, but just that from what i had seen, it really helps children when they are able to communicate, that it cuts down on aggression and tantruming because they can express their needs and wants. Of course she said, "well, i know what he wants."

I just felt so bad for this ltitle boy. I offered to call the early intervention program for her where she was going in another state, and she said ok, but we never got through. i urged her to get him some speech therapy there and assured her that they would not pry into her personal business, which was one reason she didnt' want him to get speech therapy. She actually said, that she was afraid if he started talking that he would talk about what had happened in the house (dad beating up mom).

I am so sad for that family. mom had a big black eye and was going to live with her mother, who she said was very controlling. I tried to talk to her gently about other options and yes, i know i am not a social worker, but I just want to help everyone! I just have a soft spot for kids I guess. I gave her ds's aquadoodle for her little boy so that he would have something t entertain him on the 23 HOUR bus ride to her mothers.

I guess this was just a vent. I hope that I didn't turn her off even more to getting help for her ds. It just bothers me. I would hate for that smart, sweet little boy to wind up in a class for developmentally disabled kids all because he can't tell everyone what he knows.

 

[bebebradford]

DO NOT EVER feel bad for reaching out to someone. Whether they take the help or not, is up to them. That was a kind thing to do.. I hope her life gets better.

 

[Caittune]

Aww. I think you did a good thing actually. I hope that mama get some help for her little one.

 

[Lynn08]

Oh mama, I don't know if you "did the right thing", but I applaud you for taking a stand for that little angel. You did what you felt was best for him at the time and you can't second guess yourself for that.

Hopefully you made a difference for that woman and her family during a difficult time (especially admirable since *I assume* you are going through a difficult time yourself). With everything going on at home, that mother may have been too overwhelmed to even consider or recognize that something may have been "wrong" with her son. You saw the signs and brought them to her attention so that she can get him the help he needs (if any). She may have been offended thinking you were judging her as a mother, but from what you wrote, you made it clear that that was not the case - you were just looking out for her son. I would hope someone would do the same for me.

:

Best of luck to you and your beautiful babe! I'm sending lots of love and prayers.

 

[kimiij]

You reached out to her. I don't see anything wrong in that

. Hopefully she'll remember the suggestions you gave once she is settled and in a place where she's ready to act on them.

 

[katiesk]

Quote:

if he started talking that he would talk about what had happened in the house (dad beating up mom)

this is often the reason behind some kids speech delays. i have spent several years working with kids and moms in domestic violence intervention, and there are such a high number of little kids with speech delays. often, their mama's can pinpoint one specific violent incident that a child observed which seemed to initiate the lack of progress in speech. so sad. most of the kids are not in any type of speech therapy or getting assistance with their speech development, either.

 

[sarahr]

Good for you for at least planting a seed in her mind. Hopefully when she's able to get more stable, either he'll improve on his own or she'll be able to get help.

But why would his speech delay be a reason for the shelter to turn the family away?

 

[mammal_mama]

You seem like a very warm and caring person.

I do have a child with some speech delays, and I think I might have felt a little overwhelmed if I'd been in that mother's position (where all her problems are kind of right out there for everyone to see ... leaving a controlling, abusive relationship to go stay with someone else who's controlling but hopefully not abusive).

But I think it might help that you are also staying in the shelter, so are obviously not looking down your nose. And, overall, I think it's really good that you said something, especially since she mentioned that the reason she hadn't pursued speech therapy, was her fear that they would get into her business.

So it sounds like she saw the need but was scared, and now that she's had your reassurance, she will probably feel more trusting to pursue help once she gets settled.

 

[AndrewsMother]

Being an advocate for a child is never wrong.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahr But why would his speech delay be a reason for the shelter to turn the family away?

I think that the OP wrote that the shelter daycare turned the little boy away, probably because they are not equipped to handle certain types, if any special needs.

 

[TheTMommy]

Sounds to me like you were considerate, caring, and compassionate. You also sound like a person with a big heart.

 

[lilyka]

i think you did fine. Some people get stressed out whenevber you suggest that their child is some how not on track but speech thera[y is so awesome for kids with even the slightest delay. A few sessions can really go a long way.