[Emilie]

OK_ I finally got brave and checked this out. We did circ our son and I have had bad feelings about it ever since. I barely let the nurse take him out of the room to get it done! Luckily he came back not crying- I always wonder why! He is now a year and just today have I looked this over briefly!
We will not circ our next son- if we have one.
Ds is a great kid and has the best personality- I can only wonder about the pain I caused him!
I am so glad that only 1/2 the boys are circed I think that was a main concern to me_ I did not want him to feel strange around others- but I guess if they are to be seeing his privates they should already love him- in a perfect world anyway!
Thank you for having this here to look thru!
Emilie

 

[Sarah]

Hi Emilie- I'm glad you got brave too. I think it's a shame that any mom would be put in a position to do things like this that she could feel bad about later. I think it horrible that they push this on us when we are giving birth and should be cuddled in safe with our wonderous newborns just reveling in the beauty of them... and these wolves are prowling around in the hall- like they smell placenta and come licking their chops for a little nip...ugh- I HATE THEM!!

Would you mind telling us a bit more about what you were taught about circumcision in your life... sex ed in school? parents? doctors? childbirth educators? What did the consent form actually say- when did they bring it to you? Did anyone tell you anything about not circumcising or the circumcision rates in the US? How did your DH feel about the circumcision? Why was he circumcised? What was his reason for circumcising your son? Have you talked to him about how you feel now?

Love Sarah

 

[Emilie]

From what I remember I brought it up once-in front of my fil and he said well why do you want to do it? I think he would have been fine if I said no... MIL is deceased and taht was it.... I knew it had to be an issue in the world at large- but was claiming IGNORANCE is the best for me I think at the time....
I do not remember a form- all I remember is asking the nurse what they actually did and she said I did not want to know....
I knew in my heart not to do it- but did not want to think about it at all.
I had and still have never seen an uncirced penis- and thought that what if he had to do it later on....or wanted to....
That is about it- but I knew I knew it was wrong and I let them do it anyhow-
dh will do what I want- if I can prove the reasons behind it. which will not be a prob....
I hate it that I was to scared to ask questions and do some research....
But that is what I did.
Thank you for being here.
Em

 

[BCmommy]

I am so glad you will not circ future children. I think the medical system failed you by having circ such an easy choice,KWIM? I mean really, parents should have to know what their child is going through for cosmetic purposes, so that nurse was very wrong.

They usually are not crying when they come back to the parents, as the shock causes them to shut down.

 

[boingo82]

From a legal standpoint what that nurse did was BS. That was NOT informed consent...the fact that you ASKED for information about what they did and she WITHHELD it...ridiculous.

I am glad you got brave too. We obviously cannot depend on the medical profession to end this practice. Parents who are willing to buck the status quo and reevaluate circ are the only ones who can stop it.

 

[PuppyFluffer]

Emilie, Thanks for posting here. This must be hard to address.

I have a question about your overall birth experience in the hospital. Did you feel well supported there or just like another number in a room?

Do you think you may have had a different thought process in a smaller, less stress filled environment? (I think that might be a leading question as I am assuming that your experience was stressful and overwhelming. I don't mean to assume....)

What I am wondering is: If women were cared for in smaller more intimate settings like independent birth centers, would the pressure to circ be so present? If the care they got was really catered to them as people and not just another body in a bed as so manylarge scale medical settings seem to be....would they bond more closely with their infants and due to that connection, find the voice inside that says their babies are perfect? I think the instutitionalization of birth has a lot to do with setting the environment were Infant routine circ (IRC) is allowed to be perpetuated.

I think women need to be supported in birth and not housed.

 

[Emilie]

I do agree- and also plan to hopefully have next child at a birthing center.
I was not prepared for the pain of childbirth at all. And had an epidural( never really considered not having one)I went to some birthing classes and got alot out of the Breastfeeding class- tho I was already planning on it- it really got dh excited about it too.
I am also upset about them having to take ds to a warmer( he was fine!), not letting me help or at least view his first bath( what were they doing that I could not see?) and the dumb nurse who said that she had to give him a bottle of sugar water before I could have him back...I got the L.C. on the phone and she took care of that!
I had a healthy pg and regret not having ds in a more family centered place.
I felt as if these people who had know me for 1 day- who had no emotional investment in my life- or my new son and I's life together as well as my dh- had more say over my son than me! He was their patient first- my son second!
I live very rurally and there are no birthing centers near by- but we are hopefully moving so that will be another good aspect!
I think I felt like- oh- they do this everyday- not like oh- htis is the first time I do this!!! You know?
Thank you for replying- feel free to PM me.
Em

 

[Acksiom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by PuppyFluffer I think women need to be supported in birth and not housed.

Absolutely. For me, one of the best 'side effects' of being an intactivist has been not only all the disturbing things I've learned from intactivist doulas, birth coaches, and other non-industrialized-medicine sources about the serious drawbacks to the industrialization of birth, but all the fascinating, hopeful things they've shown me about all the incredibly positive alternatives that there are.

I like birth stories, but I love 'alternative' birth stories. Not least because of how much more involved the rest of the family usually is. Forex, I can think of only one or two 'industrialized' birth stories I've read where the father and siblings' bonding process is noted. But in 'alternative' birth stories, I'm much more likely to notice when it isn't mentioned.

 

[Stevie]

I am so proud of you Em! I too am the mother of a circ'd son and an intact son and I get so angry that new moms are still being lied to. There is a span of 26 years, 11.5 months between my sons. Had they both been children of my youth, they would have both been circ'd