I freaked out

933 Views 22 Replies 19 Participants Last post by allgirls, Jun 16, 2004

Kleine Hexe

Discussion Starter · Jun 14, 2004

Would this freak you out or am I just over protective? Here's what happened. We went to a restuarant with my dad. It was a buffet style place. I was holding my 3 month old on my lap as always. My dad said he would hold him for awhile so I could eat with two hands. My dad went to the buffet with my baby and he came back without my baby! I said "Where the he** is Kyle?" and he said "Oh, those ladies snatched him from me. Ha ha." I jumped up and looked for him but the women (who worked there) had taken him back in the kitchen. I could hear them all oogling over him. I was pissed and it took every ounce of control to not start screaming for my baby. My dad walked up and asked if he wanted him to get my baby and I said YES. Just then a lady came out with Kyle and my dad took him and I grabbed him from my dad and went back to the table. Later on one by one the women all came to the table commenting on his red hair, blah, blah, and they were all touching him and sticking their fingers in his little hands. AGGGGHHHHH! At that point I figured he'd already been exposed to everything and I was so pissed. What in the he** was my dad thinking? Giving my baby to complete strangers and letting them walk away and out of sight with him? OMG!

So would you have freaked?

1 - 20 of 23 Posts

Slackermom

· #2 · Jun 14, 2004

I'd be pretty pissed. I don't have a problem with people I know holding DD, but strangers, no. Especially not when she was a tiny baby. I was very paranoid about germs, etc, since she was born at the height of flu season. I found keeping her in a sling really kept the baby-ooglers at bay.

Don't be too hard on your dad, though. He's probably just a very proud grandfather who wanted to show off his darling! But let him know you have boundaries about these kind of things.

dnr3301

· #3 · Jun 14, 2004

yep, would've freaked.

When dd was about 2mo, I was at a good friend's house at a party and I left the room to go to the bathroom and left dd with a group of my friends. When I got back one of them wasn't in the room (there were a lot of people, I didn't notice this particular person gone) and neither was dd. Apparently they hadn't figured on my complete meltdown when they decided to play "hide the baby" as it now called. Can you tell I was the first in my group to have babies? And these were people I knew and trusted, not even strangers in a restaurant. Yes I would have freaked out.

Beanjeepin

· #4 · Jun 14, 2004

Ahh, you've touched on just one of the reasons that DS isn't often held by someone other than his dad or me. I find it very sad that I can't respect anyone to go along with our wishes regarding childcare (they'll insist on holding the baby while he's crying, insist on trying to feed him, even behind my back... you name it). Makes for intensive parenting when you think that in the past AP was often practiced by entire tribes - or at least extended families, but holding to our parenting beliefs is worth it.

I'm so sorry that your dad did that to you/baby. It's so hard to trust!

IdentityCrisisMama

· #5 · Jun 14, 2004

Well, no, I wouldn’t have freaked. But, that doesn’t mean that you can’t or that you’re overprotective. It made you uncomfortable and that’s okay.

BAU3

· #6 · Jun 14, 2004

Yeah, I would have been pretty stressed out, even without taking into consideration germs and such.. just my baby being out of site and with strangers would be sufficient to raise my mama hackles.

Along the lines of the germs, though, I was in a restaraunt with my family and my then 4 mo baby.. as I was walking through the bar I stopped to chat with a couple who were sitting there. I had ds up on my shoulder, sort of looking over it.. I became aware of a woman behind me talking to my baby and turned my head to seewho it was...this woman had her finger in my babys mouth!!! I sort of jumped and said "oh my g*d"... she said oh, its ok.. I've had three children.. or something like that. What the number of children she's birthed has to do with her fingers in my ds's mouth I don't know. But I do know she had just been outside smoking a cigarette. (NYS smoking ban..)
She smelled and I really just couldn't bring myself to think about where here fingers could have been.

I really had to fight down an urge to hit this woman....(I never feel an urge to hit...)

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oceanbaby

· #7 · Jun 14, 2004

I would totally have freaked. Not necessarily because of the germ issue (although I am fairly protective of newborns that way), but just the idea of giving my baby over to a stranger and walking away! How totally frightening. I know I am ultra paranoid, but geez, one of them could of just walked right out of there with your baby.

It makes me appreciate that my parents are even more paranoid than I am, and I am hard to beat! I see the potential for danger everywhere when it comes to my babies.

oceanbaby

· #8 · Jun 14, 2004

Quote:

I had ds up on my shoulder, sort of looking over it.. I became aware of a woman behind me talking to my baby and turned my head to seewho it was...this woman had her finger in my babys mouth!!!

I brought ds into my old office when he was about 4 months old. I purposely wore him in a Bjorn so no one would ask to hold him (wasn't proficient with the sling yet). A woman walks over to say hi, and in a flash, says "Any teeth yet?" while trying to stick her hands in his mouth! I quickly turned him away from her, saying "Nope, no teeth." But I was so appalled that someone would try to stick their finger's in a baby's mouth!

mom2mygirls

· #9 · Jun 14, 2004

I would of been pissed to and freaked out you had every right to be.

Christina

sincitymama

· #10 · Jun 14, 2004

I would totally freak. I would have barged straight into the kitchen to take back my baby. Then I would have asked him what the f*** he was thinking! But then, my family tends to be good about that stuff, they know how I feel. Nobody feeds him, nobody I don't know holds him, etc...So if it were my family member who did it, they would be knowingly going directly against my wishes, that's probably what would piss me off the most.

So no, I don't think you overreacted or were overprotective.

pilesoflaundry

· #11 · Jun 14, 2004

2

I not only would have totally freaked I think I might have just killed someone!

s I would have ran in that kitchen ranting like a mad woman and then probably shot my dad :LOL Yeah I tend to overreact

. I think you really did have valid feelings, I would have been really pissed.

Thank god my family knows not only to never ever give my kid to someone else, they sure as anything wouldn't have let someone walk out of the room with him. Especially restaurant workers in the kitchen and touching their face like you said exposing him.

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phathui5

· #12 · Jun 15, 2004

It sounds like you need to let your family know what you are and aren't comfortable with. I don't think that your dad would have passed the baby around knowing that it was going to upset you. He was probably just showing him off.

But I can see how it would have freaked you out too. I let people hold dd, but they have to be where I can see them.

bec

· #13 · Jun 15, 2004

I would have definitely freaked out.

A month and a half ago I took my girls with my parents (DH had to work and stayed home) out to Maryland for the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival (read: big county fair focused around wool, spinning, knitting, weaving, etc.). We had a grand time. My mom vends at this show every year with my dad. They know lots of people that they have become friends with over the years. Mind you, I don't know these people.

Anyway, Dad took Katie with him to another booth to chat with the owners of that booth (this was sanctioned, and it was only a little ways down the aisle). The place was pretty crowded still, and I stayed behind to feed Emily. All of a sudden, Katie is back without my Dad (thank god she came back and didn't start wandering somewhere else). I asked her if Pappi (her name for my dad) knew where she was. She said, no.

I took Katie by the hand back to my Dad, and asked him if he knew Katie had come back by herself (I was barely controlling my rage). He said no, and started to say, "Oh, Katie, you shouldn't..." He didn't get any farther because I cut him off. "This is not Katie's fault, Dad! You were the one watching her. She's 3." I turned on my heel and stomped back to my parent's booth. I'm still apalled that he did this.

I told my mom, and she was equally shocked. I told her what I said, and that I probably embarased him in front of his friends, and she said that was good. I shiver when I think about what the consequences of that could have been.

Bec

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Rach

· #14 · Jun 15, 2004

Oh gosh!
My heart stopped when I got to the part where he returned without your baby! Oh gosh! I would have jumped up running around like a mad woman, that's for sure!
And they took him back into the kitchen? I'm so furious for you, becuase there are hot ovens and stoves back there! That's no place for a baby, I am surprised they allowed that!
Anyway, I don't think you over reacted, I would have been angrier than you.
Hopefully he will not ever do that again.

3 Little Monkeys

· #15 · Jun 15, 2004

Oh heck no you didn't overreact! I would have been in that kitchen so fast it would have made their heads spin! And dad would have gotten an ear full, let me tell you! FIL likes to show off the kids - he's the type who makes them perform. YOu know, he teaches them some stupid thing and makes them repeat it for everyone. So ooober annoying! Anyway, he is the only one I would worry about doing something like this. You were right on - and I think your dad got off way too easy!

allgirls

· #16 · Jun 15, 2004

In and absolutely non racist way, can I ask if it was an Asian restaurant? Whenever we go or have gone to a Chinese or other Asian restaurant we have had this happen...I have a friend who is married to a Chinese man and she says they do this...it is actually a honour(though very disturbing to us)

I am just curious because I have had this happen so many times at many different places...they have even given my children toys at these restaurants.

Just wondering...

JohnnysGirl

· #17 · Jun 15, 2004

My heart was pounding just reading about it,....so yes I would have freaaked out.

nak

IdentityCrisisMama

· #18 · Jun 15, 2004

I have worked in many different restaurants and we’ve always taken the kids in the kitchen. Of course, I always asked first. I think it was probably quite common and is becoming less so with increasing fear over child safety. Since I’m posting again, although I was the only one who said they wouldn’t have minded, I would like to clarify that you are still totally entitled to your feelings about this. You are a parent and that’s your right!

Cranberry

· #19 · Jun 15, 2004

Yeah, I would have freaked out too.

My dad is totally clueless about kids (even though he has 5) and I wouldn't let him ever take care of or babysit for ds. Of course my dad would never offer to hold a baby or child, nor would he want to babysit or spend any real quality time with one. I don't think he ever held ds as a baby or even had a real conversation with him (ds is now 4) or any of his grandchildren.

Kleine Hexe

Discussion Starter · #20 · Jun 15, 2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by allgirls
In and absolutely non racist way, can I ask if it was an Asian restaurant? Whenever we go or have gone to a Chinese or other Asian restaurant we have had this happen...I have a friend who is married to a Chinese man and she says they do this...it is actually a honour(though very disturbing to us)

I am just curious because I have had this happen so many times at many different places...they have even given my children toys at these restaurants.

Just wondering...

Actually yes it was.

I think my dad figured out from my reaction that I was not happy. That's why he offered to go back and get my baby. I hope he has learned.

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