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I am so sad! I am feeling very bad about this whole circ thing! I posted the other day about how many people I know that are circing and I was sad enough over that, but now it's even worse!<br><br>
I went to a baby shower the other day and there were sooo many babies there! We were talking about tongue ties and getting them clipped. Someone mentioned that it was nothing compared to the circ she put her son through. ALL THE OTHER LADIES AGREED WITH HER! Like what, they all had their sons done??!! And they way she said it made me feel like obviously she knew it wasn't a good thing. Then she goes on to talk about how the doctor didn't do it properly and now his penis doesn't look right! She was so mad that it cost her so much money even though it wasn't done right, not about the fact that her so is going to have a funny looking penis for the rest of his life! Actually, she talked about gettin him redone, but didn't want to spend the money. Maybe they cover their work? OMG OMG OMG<br><br>
So anyway, I feel like giving up. I wish I didn't care. I really do. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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I know how you feel. Any American I know that gets pregnant I just pray it's a girl since there seems no way to convince most of them otherwise. Even people I would expect to understand and know better. It must be really frustrating for you since Canadians are supposed to know better. I can't believe a woman talking about her son's penis like that. Poor child.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>JamieB</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11540835"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I am so sad! I am feeling very bad about this whole circ thing! I posted the other day about how many people I know that are circing and I was sad enough over that, but now it's even worse!<br><br>
I went to a baby shower the other day and there were sooo many babies there! We were talking about tongue ties and getting them clipped. Someone mentioned that it was nothing compared to the circ she put her son through. ALL THE OTHER LADIES AGREED WITH HER! Like what, they all had their sons done??!! And they way she said it made me feel like obviously she knew it wasn't a good thing. Then she goes on to talk about how the doctor didn't do it properly and now his penis doesn't look right! She was so mad that it cost her so much money even though it wasn't done right, not about the fact that her so is going to have a funny looking penis for the rest of his life! Actually, she talked about gettin him redone, but didn't want to spend the money. Maybe they cover their work? OMG OMG OMG<br><br>
So anyway, I feel like giving up. I wish I didn't care. I really do. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"></div>
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Change your environment and/or the group of people you spend time with? And don't give up. I think here was a perfect opportunity where you could have presented your views on the subject. And remember, in Canada, most people are not cut.
 

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I do agree that clipping a tongue tie isn't anything compared to circumcision. Clipping the tongue tie like in my ds2's case was necessary for successful breastfeeding, although it isn't always needed.<br>
Circumcision on the other hand has no benifits and it is completely unnecessary. And a great deal more painful than clipping the tongue tie. And talking about putting your child through something so painful for nothing makes me sick.<br>
I wouldn't give up but I would have told them what I thought about circumcision.
 

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The funny thing is, I didnt even want my dd's tongue clipped without drugs. Granted she was older when it was discovered but still....I hate inflicting ANY pain on my kids and thats something thats actually necessary in some cases! Regardless, there is NO comparing circ to clipping a tongue.
 

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Most of the boys in my family and circle of friends are uncut. It drives me up the wall when i hear someone cutting their son to look like their dad. It upsets me to think about those poor babies too.
 

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Please don't give up. My son is circ'd and I deeply regret it. I felt guilty about it for the first year, but we have now decided not to circ any future boys.<br><br>
When you hear moms say things like this, it might be a good opportunity to 'plant a seed' so to speak. I wish someone who was truly informed about the circ/intact arguments would have clued me in. I only heard a couple of arguments saying it's unnecessary, which were usually quickly overshadowed by medical arguments in favor of it. Then I heard about a friend who's son had hypospadia and hidden penis, but thought their situation was too extreme to take into consideration. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/crap.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crap"> I was uninformed and arrogant.<br><br>
If they're already feeling that circ wasn't a good decision, then perhaps you could toss a few facts in their direction, and maybe reassure them to trust their instinct, and that it's perfectly fine to be annoyed or upset by the situation. People can change their minds. That's the important thing to remember. I'm starting to meet families where the older boys are circ'd and the younger ones are intact. That's a step in the right direction.
 

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I agree with Jaysfamily but also, be prepared by thinking about what you want to say. IME, it's like bringing up a serious political or religious question out of the blue: people get weird. And defensive, too.<br><br>
Try to think of some ways that you might advocate for it without making a big stink in a public forum. Or perhaps what you might say to individuals by taking them aside, later.
 

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Also,<br>
I feel the same way sometimes. I hear about circs and I feel sick. I just feel lucky that my family members have all gone no-circ, and- well... I haven't really got any other friends...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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I know how you feel. I feel the same way. It can be discouraging. It's especially hard when it's someone close to you or a family member. If the moment feels appropriate, I say something, but I always tread carefully with what I say, how I say it, my tone of voice, etc so as not to offend or upset anyone. Mostly, I talk about what I did or how I feel about it rather than "preach" so to speak. Sometimes that's enough to "plant a seed." One time, I was changing my son in front of a neighbor who had dropped by to visit and she said "OH, you didn't circumcize him" and I simply said, very lightheartedly, "Nope. We think he's perfect just the way he is". We both laughed and she said "Yes he is!" That was the end of it!<br><br>
Just hang in there! Change comes slowly and most resist it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Thank you for all your replies everyone. I am very very conflicted right now with everything. This issue makes me sick to my stomach but I truly don't feel ready to cause the kind of family drama that saying something to that woman would cause. My whole family thinks i'm nuts already! My mom actually yelled at me when I told her that I hoped my friends wouldn't circ their son (you leave them alone, that's their life, not yours!) and my husband and sister told me that i'm psycho! And they really, really meant it.<br><br>
I have already changed 2 peoples minds though, and I plan on doing more. I would like to show DH the circ video so he would have a better idea of why I feel the way I do, but, again, he would just think I was nuts.
 

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ASK THEM, WHAT IS SO 'NUTS' about being against the torture of innocents?? After all, they feel pain, more so than adults do! I think it's INSANE that people think circumcision isn't a 'big deal', they are ignorant of what circ is all about, they have probably done NO research on the subject too.<br><br>
Ask them if they baby doesn't feel pain, then why do they have to strap the baby down, and why does the baby go catatonic and go into shock from the procedure? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"><br><br>
Wonder how many of these women who had their babies tortured had No anesthesia during labor. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"><br><br>
Ignorance is the refuge of the uneducated.
 

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you think it's bad in Canada...check out the US <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Makes me so, so, so sad. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I am feeling a bit better but not giving up. I have cards to give out, phone calls to make, and emails to send! I just have to remember that every little bit counts! Thanks everyone!
 

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Hey, please don't give up. (((hugs))) And I found that NOCIRC of MI (Michigan) offers a free NOCIRC package they'll send to an address if you request it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> That reminds me about donating to them to reimburse them for their postage costs. I did this to a friend of my brother's who I kind of know pretty well, who was expecting a baby (gender unknown at the time, but turned up being a boy).<br><br>
I'm here in London and I see far too many circ'd little boys (even 1 is too much!) and I plan on going swimming a lot this summer in the community pools, so just knowing you're <i>also</i> fighting to keep Ontario's males intact helps me.
 
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