Mothering Forum banner
1 - 20 of 23 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,832 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i was sitting outside my apartment on the lawn, soaking up the warmth from the fading sunshine and happily (and sleepily!) nursing my (apprx) 2.5 yo dd.... when my neighbor came out and said, "My GOD! You're STILL nursing her?? How old is she now--??!" and i smiled my placid happy nursing mama smile and said, "Ah, around two and a half..." and my neighbor literally tsk-tsk'ed and launched into a diatribe about how i better wean her soon because really it's not good for kids to nurse that long, etc.... so i cocked my head and listened quietly while she ranted for a few minutes, and when she paused i interjected that my doctor's dd had nursed until she was well into kindergarten. (
)...

to which my neighbor was like, "yeah but, well, it's just really not good for them, they get TOO ATTACHED," and at that point i couldn't help myself, i burst out laughing, and i was trying to compose myself and while i was gasping for breath, still shaking with laughter, she frowned deeply and said, "and besides, it's bad for their teeth! and you know what else," ... and she walked over and leaned over to me, nearly whispering, and informed me that --

"When the other kids see *her* doing it THEY think they want to, too!"

oh no, i'm making kids want to breastfeed -- and BE breastfed!


i suppose she mistook my huge grin for disbelief because she reassured me that, no, it was true, one of my neighbor's young children had recently witnessed me "doing THAT" (and she never once said the words "nursing" or "breastfeeding," it was always "that" or "doing that---"
) and the little boy (who is NOT breastfed, btw) had toddled over to his mommy, snuggled up to her.... and latched on.

:

... just had to share.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
2,231 Posts
I read this to dh and he thought it was hilarious too. I think you handled it beautifully (what else can one do but laugh at some of the misinformation out there!).

I'm sure it threw the other mom for a loop when her ds tried to latch on. I can totally see a baby wanting to try what another baby is doing, especially if the other babe is loving it!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,601 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by Aura_Kitten View Post
yeah, but, i feel sad for the boy. apparently he "got a butt whooping" for it.


My god....
: Poor kiddo
:

And you showed amazing restraint by just laughing. My parents were constantly criticizing.

My son self weaned just a couple of months ago- my milk has dried up while pregnant. He talks eagerly about sharing when the baby arrives though
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,962 Posts
What was the mother topless or something? How did he manage to latch on if she was wearing clothes?


People crack me up. You handled it beautifuly though!

I like to imagine babies doing the "Look Who's Talking" thing when one baby is nursing he's sitting there 'saying' "Yum, this is gooooood stuff!" or something so of course all the other babies with "LWT" abilities pick up on it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,008 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by Aura_Kitten View Post

oh no, i'm making kids want to breastfeed -- and BE breastfed!


When I was pregnant with my 3rd, we spent a lot of time that summer at the park with my AP playgroup. My second (around 18 months at the time) saw all the nursing babies. She was born with a cleft palate, and never nursed. She was capable after the surgery (at 10 months), but was not interested in the slightest, despite my efforts. I pumped for her for a year, but I digress.

Sure enough, seeing all those nursing toddlers (there are about 3-4 kids her age in my group right now), made her want to nurse!
There was no milk, and she never latched on for long, but I was THRILLED!!!! I had hopes that she would continue nursing after the milk came in, but, she apparently didn't actually want the milk. She just wanted to be like the other kids.
So, I guess your neighbor was right about that part of things. Toddlers seeing other toddlers nurse, gives them the idea that nursing is a good thing!
Makes me very sad for the little boy, though, that was punished for wanting to be close to his mom.
: Guess he learned a valuable lesson that day.
:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,165 Posts
Yep, my neighbor's 3 year old started nursing her dolls after she watched me breastfeeding DS.
I think you did well with those comments. It's almost comical what people come up with.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,869 Posts
That is so sad, not to mention hateful and pathological, to punish a child for seeking affection.

Does your neighbor have attachment disorder that she doesn't understand what normal attachment is or that children are supposed to be attached to their parents?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,832 Posts
Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Meiri View Post
That is so sad, not to mention hateful and pathological, to punish a child for seeking affection.

Does your neighbor have attachment disorder that she doesn't understand what normal attachment is or that children are supposed to be attached to their parents?

it IS sad... but totally the culture where i live.


my kids got the... er... *honor* of witnessing one of their kindergarten playmates whipped with a belt by his father for crying a few nights ago.


but, i digress. i don't want to derail my own thread......
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
15,101 Posts
Good grief! I would have said "If you want a closer look, just come over! No need to get all weird!"
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
80 Posts
I got my first extended nursing comment not bad but just uneducated where a friend made a comment that I was just still nursing my 22 mo ds for my sake and it was not about him. I then told her that who recommends a minimum of 2 years and the benefits are still the same when they are tolders as babies. She is an older mom and never went past 3 months (milk always dried up) so she just did not know better but still I was very Supprised.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,002 Posts
You know what flies out of my mouth everytime someone says something?
"Well, actually, anthropologically, weaning age for humans is 3-7 yrs. Humans don't even reach full immunocompetence/immune system maturity until about 6 yo. and brain growth and development peaks and stabilizes at about 5 yo.. They need the fats and antibodies for proper growth and development. (It's actually more involved then this, but...) I'm just doing what's normal for human development. I do what's best for my kids despite what society thinks. "

Nobody ever says anything b/c I either lost them at "anthropologically" or who can argue with the statement "I do what's best for my kids despite what society thinks." b/c obviously they did NOT or it wouldn't be an issue. It lets them know that they put other people and their views before their children, which is an uncomfortable thought for most people.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,713 Posts
Good for you...that neighbour was probably totally bewildered by your response to her comments. She probably had an expectation that you would unlatch your child and cover up in shame. I love your response to her!

That is too bad for the other child who was hurt by his mother when he tried to latch on. That's too bad that his mom did not understand what was going on.
: I feel bad for both of them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
122 Posts
Sounds like you handled things very well. I also love the other ideas of things to say. I just hope I can pronounce "anthropologically"
 
1 - 20 of 23 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top