i guess that's it...

i don't know if this is actually CLW or not-- maybe with a little nudge from mom. a few months ago i felt like i wanted my then 3 yo son to wean. i tandem nurse he and his 1 1/2 yo brother and for various reasons was ready. i made a book about weaning, which he liked his dad or i to read to him but, truthfully, he wasn't that interested in weaning, even though he was down to only 3 or 4 times a week for a few minutes. i brought up the topic of a weaning party and he liked the idea-- but not if it meant he couldn't have "other side" anymore. so, i laid off. i was fine with it-- more than fine, actually, i found that i enjoyed our short nursing sessions and decided i really didn't care when he stopped.
i never got rid of the book, though, and a few days ago dh mentioned that he ds still like reading it almost every night! i had no idea (dh does books with the older while i put ds2 to bed) and he never mentioned it to me. meanwhile, a few days ago, ds had a fever and i wanted him to nurse--- he couldn't have cared less. he drank water, juice, ice, but hardly nursed at all and only when i asked him to.
this morning he was in a great mood. he said "let's have a weaning party today!" i told him that would mean that he was ready to stop other side for good. he said yes. i said maybe he wanted to think about it for a
few days cuz it's a pretty big decision-- he said he was ready. i always told him he could decide when he was ready, but i wasn't quite trusting it yet. i wondered if he really just wanted the cake and the present (this had been mentioned way back when i was trying to move it along) and he said yes-- he wanted a cup cake and a present but that he was also ready to wean. we talked for a while and i came to believe that he really was telling me it was time. he had been gradually weaning for the past year.
so, a trip to the store for cup cakes, balloons, a little gift i had hidden away, and all of us sang "happy wean day to you" and i guess we're done. we've talked about what will happen if he askes me for other side in the morning-- i'll remind him that he's a bigger guy now who has weaned but we can snuggle and hug and i'll go get him a drink in a cup--- and we're done.
i have mixed feelings. i dread the inevitable "testing" i'm sure i'll get at least once when he'll ask. i'll miss those quiet nursing moments and i dread the next illness because i've come to rely so much on powerful mama's milk but, over the past year we've developed other ways of comforting and nurturing him so i know that we are really ready to move on. i'm kinda sad but so proud that my boy made the decision.