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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I feel so crappy right now. We are very gd and don't spank and certainly try not to yell. We arrange our time, schedule and environment for the kids to promote respect, love, healthy eating, exercise, etc. Well, guess what? Today I taught my son to say dammit. Sigh. It was one of those things....I was finally vacumming the upstairs which hadn't been cleaned in more time than I care to admit, and he was running around yanking on the cord, etc, and I finally said crossly, "g--dammit, DS, let go of that cord!" He said, "Why you say dammit, mama?" I don't think he'd ever heard that word before, but he could tell it wasn't a nice one! He said, "Sorry I made you mad, Mommy". I said, "Sorry I spoke so rudely to you, honey. That wasn't nice of Mommy." He went on to play and seemed to forget all about it. so far he hasn't repeated it....<br><br>
Unlike the phrase, "Knock it off". DH likes to remind me often of how I taught this to our son. I said that exactly once to DS when he was yanking on me while I was prepping food at the counter. He kept yanking, yanking on my pockets, I think I was chopping veggies. Anyway I kept saying, "hold on honey" and finally said, "Knock it off!" Now guess what he says when he is mad? "KNOCK OFF!" I slip up once and he has added it to his vocabulary....<br><br>
I just felt like today was one of those days where, rather than cherishing each moment with my kids, I was just wishing I could get more done, and wishing that DS would stop yanking on his baby sister, and wishing they would both take a nap, and wishing that....you get the idea. Oh, and they didn't take a nap. Either of them! DD only slept a half hour and that was AFTER DH got home. DS is 3 and giving them up.<br><br>
I did just read a good article on hillbillyhousewife.com about how to get in the moment, drop the dishes, vaccum, whatever, and get down on the floor with your kids. I mean really just let go of your own agenda/schedule and it will come together when you do so. I am really going to try to do this tomorrow. Don't get me wrong, I play with and read with my kids everyday, but often it is when I am ready to...maybe I need to do it more often without being invited by them. It's hard b/c I feel like i let so many things go already just to take care of their basic needs. I am always feeding/changing/bathing/etc. etc. and Lord know I never drink my tea before it is cold! LOL My DH says I am the definition of patience but I didn't feel like it today.<br><br>
I think if we could JUST GET OUTSIDE it would help so much!!! It's freaking cold here in New England and the wind is just awful. DD and DS both got windburn on their cheeks just from going from the car to the grocery store across the parking lot! Yeah, I know excuses....but a good bit of exercise would do us all good!<br><br>
Anyone else out there in the same boat? Or who would like to tell me I am not a bad mama! Thanks!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
Only G-d is perfect- the rest of us make mistakes sometimes. It's ok to have a "bad mama day." Besides, it's not nearly as bad as some of the words I've unintentionally taught my children. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks Ruth! I needed that. I also need to remember to get myself to bed and take care of myself. Today was not only the first day of spring, but my mother's birthday. Only she is not with us anymore, she died in July. I have to wonder if my behavior was influenced by this. I need to face my own inner feelings on this and it is so hard.<br><br>
BTW, I have read many of your posts and enjoy them. I think I first saw your posts on another diapering board?<br><br>
Thanks again!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s to you. We all have those days. So he learned a new word...sooner or later he was bound to learn it....<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
Make parenting fun. Don't make yourself a slave or saint, just make it fun for the whole family. Smile and laugh as much as possible and always look at your kids when you are talking to them.<br><br>
Unless...well, we all have days like that. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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Hugs mama!<br><br>
I so know what you mean - we have all been there! And yes, I like advices of letting go of your agenda, but sometimes it seems that's all I do - let go of my agenda (if there was one to start with, LOL)<br><br>
Also, if your only "offence" was teaching him "dammit" and "knock it off" - I say you are way ahead!<br><br>
PS <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/candle.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Candle"> to your Mom. I am sure the fact that it is her birthday had an effect on you.
 

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I too have heard my dd say things we shouldn't have taught , it shocks you when it's a 'not so nice word' they certainly do hear what you say to them all the time ' the walls have ears'. I have been trying not to talk about my children in front of them , which a lot of parents do , and we shouldn't because we wouldn't dream of talking about our friends in front of them.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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My husband and I have been a little careless with our words, and though I have never cursed at my son, I have cursed in front of him without thinking about it. He has repeated the F word (thanks to DH), and we have had to try and reverse our habits, and what we have taught our son. Kai now reprimands me when I say a bad word....or if I say a word that sounds bad....LOL I say friggin instead of the F word, and he knows that it's just a replacement for a bad word, and tells me I can't say it.<br>
We are all human, we are not perfect. You're going to have good days and bad days. No need to beat yourself up about it. You appologized to your child, and I'm sure he's forgiven you<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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your mummy instincts let you know you didnt feel good talking to your ds that way and so you followed through with an apology, i think only mothers who really care get that knot in their stomachs when they arent happy with the way something went and that is a great strength and allows us to make ammends and have children who understand that its ok to make a msitake and that they can apologis and make it better.<br><br>
if you never made a mistake how could you model for your child how to make things better after it is important that they learn these things arent the end of the world so i actually think its important that we DO slip up sometimes
 

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you know it doesn't sound SOOO bad - you apologized, he realised that you were cross - things moved on<br>
we all have bad mama moments - best not to dwell on them and move on to better days ..........
 

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I have certainly had my share of bad mama moments! All we can do is try and try again to be better. That is what I keep telling myself anyway - lol. You are a good mama to reflect on things that you are not happy with and hope to change them. We need more outdoor time and exercise here too.
 

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Hugs mama...<br><br>
I just had my baby mama moment...feel free to read it....<br><br>
I too can't wait to get outside in fresh spring air......I think it would do all our souls good.......wonderful sweet good.....<br><br>
You apologized......I did too...it's the best we can do when we find ourselves there..and I agree with a PP....knots in our stomachs....makes us feel bad, but it makes us human.....Our dear ones know we love them.....and that's what matters most.....at least right now for me....<br><br>
Many more hugs
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I know how that is!! We all have bad mama days. One funny story- My dh accidently taught his nephew the word "stupid" when nephew was 3. His mom was sooo mad<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"> . She is rather strange about not wanting the kids to say certain words. Any way, dh's other bro thought this was very funny (for her to be mad) so now that his dd is almost 3, he says something is stupid and she says so too and he says "that's right!"<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mischievous.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="mischief"> It makes SIL mad but what can she do? BIL says that some things are stupid and his dd should learn that.<br>
I stand back and do not say anything b/c dd is only 10 months and doesn't talk yet. I can imagine what dad will teach her when she does!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mischievous.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="mischief"> He uses the excuse that she'll learn it anyway.
 

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OK - I came hear to feel not so bad about my "bad mamma" days . . . but reading what you consider a "bad mamma" day . .. I feel like the WORST mamma . . . . <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">: . . . .. lets just say my bad days have a lot more steam in 'em than that.<br><br>
You should feel very proud of yourself that you are able to maintain such a GD household - and that your bad day is only as you described. Sounds like you are doing an outstanding job.
 
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