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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The other night I was watching my 2 lil' ones run around and play, and I commented to my DH how sometimes it still feels strange that I'm a mom. Neither one of us wanted kids...we actually hated them.....And I always believed that everyone gets 1 freebie at correcting 'unexpected surprises'.<br><br>
MY moment....Then last night my 3 1/2 yo lil' girl stops what she's doing and gave me the biggest hug and kiss. I thought to myself "you're only here because of me". When we found out I was pg with her, we freaked. I just got done with college, DH and I weren't living together, and marriage wasn't in the picture. We were only dating a little over a year. I made an appt for the abortion clinic, and we went. I went through motions, and somehow I felt this incredible bond with her, and as soon as I saw the machine, I changed my mind. We had no idea how far along I was at the time. The Dr did a pelvic exam and said about 7 weeks. I later found out I was a little over 10 weeks at that time. I was on BC for several years, but started taking St John's wort, not knowing it can interfere with the pill. Plus, I also skipped my periods on purpose with the pill. So I had no LMP.<br><br>
I went home, and 2 weeks later I went to the welfare office to apply for medical assistance. When I got home I told DH that I was having this baby with or without him. (there's sooo much more to our 'talking').<br><br>
After I had this moment with my lil' girl, my 17 month old DS then climbs up on my lap and lays his head on my chest. I planned him....and he wouldn't be here if I hadn't kept his sister.<br><br>
Then I found out I was pg with this one...with how many m/c I've had in the last 4 years, my hubby knew he could never ask me to 'take care of it'. I believe that God gave me my babies for a reason. I just never told my hubby that I secretly longed for this child that I'm pg with.<br><br>
Now I know that I was meant to be a mamma of 3 beautiful lil' babies. That was my calling. We've had many hardships, accumulated debt and made sacrafices along the way. Then I think about how close Skye came to not being here often, probably every week or 2 it goes through my head. I can't imagine her not being here. She's my mini-me.<br><br>
I hope I didn't offend anyone or bring up bad memories for anyone. I just wanted to get this off my chest.
 

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Ah, what a beautiful story!!<br>
Makes me long for this baby even more, since she was not planned either. I actually took PlanB after the "accident" occured. I cried and cried when I saw the pregnancy test result. I secretly wished for a m/c. Dh was very angry about the situation and said he didn't want this child.<br><br>
And then we got used to the idea <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> And I hoped beyond hope that she'd stick around and forgive me for thinking these horrible thoughts.<br>
Because everytime ds strokes my face, or kisses me, or takes me by the hand, I'm in love. And I want to believe that I'll fall in love with this one too. So your story makes me incredibly happy.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
thanks for sharing your story!! I just feel well, weird at this time of the year. My appt w/the abortion clinic was January 11th 4 years ago. We found out I was pg w/her on January 6th. My now hubby and I cried for days when we found out we were pg. And we fought a lot. Somehow I just knew to keep her. The next 2 weeks after I got home from that appt, and before I went to get health insurance, we didn't talk much. He was a bit mad that I didn't go thru with it, and said it was ultimately my decision. I just hope that some day I don't slip up and tell Skye this story. It might make her feel different towards her father.<br><br>
With my son, I told my hubby I wanted my baby back 1 month after having a m/c. I was on a low dose BC, and had lots of breakthru bleeding. I ended up ovulating with one of those bleeds. When I m/c, I knew it was happening, and my hubby went downstairs to watch tv with Skye, and fell asleep. I was all by myself when I saw the sac at 2am. That's something I've never forgiven him for. When the m/c started, he left me all alone.<br><br>
Then last January, I stopped taking the BC pill due to various reasons. When I was due for AF, I ovulated instead, and bam...I'm pg again. It turned out I had a missed m/c and had to get a D&C at 10 weeks. It broke my heart. I had gotten used to the idea of my 2nd two babies being 12 months apart. Thus, I secretly longed for the baby I'm carrying now. This one was unplanned as well, at least in his part. But I was taking the pill, and he pulled out. But I had appendicitis the month prior and messed up that whole cycle. Thus I got pg again. And I was secretly happy!!<br><br>
My mom, among a lot of other people have told me that I was meant to have 3 babies, and now I know that's true. And I wouldn't change a thing. What I went through with Skye made me appreciate her so much more. And all the m/c I've had made me realize how precious life really is.
 

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i think it's great that you shared your story. my ds was unplanned...got pg on june1 (had graduated from college two weeks b/f)...so according to the 40 weeks-i got pg the day i graduated from college <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> it's funny now, but wow, it's crazy to go through that when you are planning so many different things. dh and i knew we wanted to be together and have kids "in the future" but what a crazy thing to go through. i actually took pennyroyal before i knew i was pg (to regulate my 'late' period) and finished the doses after i found out. luckily it didn't work. i also had a colposcopy while pg (though planned parenthood didn't know i was pg b/c they wouldn't have done it--it can cause miscarriages) but to me i wanted to know i didn't have cancer more than i wanted to prevent a possible miscarriage. well, i now have my ds! I truly believe that babies choose when they come, we don't (no matter how much we think we can control it). this baby was "planned" for us, after several months of trying. i believe we didn't conceive when we started "trying" b/c it wasn't time.<br><br>
little ones are definately blessings...
 

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Thanks for sharing your story...DD was not planned...i was still in college getting ready to graduate. I wasnt ready to have a baby and neither was DH and then she came early. Now i couldnt imagine life without her and she has only been here 6 weeks.
 

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Thanks for sharing. Our baby was planned - in fact, we had been trying for what seemed like forever to get pregnant. My DH had to leave for a business trip the day I first expected to be able to see a positive and I had a feeling it was going to happen on that day - and it did! It was frustrating though because I called and told him on the phone as he was leaving and he was away for several days before we could be together again to share the moment.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I think the one thing that scares me the most is whenever I have my 'moments', I think how close she came to not being here, and she's only here b/c *I* walked out of that clinic that day. And, if I wouldn't have had her, my (planned) lil' guy Christopher wouldn't be here either, as we didn't want kids, as well as this current unborn baby. I'm sure somewhere down the road I would've gotten pg again by accident, but I'd have totally different kids.<br><br>
It's so strange how quickly your life turns around. Someone has different plans for me than what I intended.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
It sounds like you have really been through a lot! Sometimes it takes moments to remind us how precious life is...
 

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What a beautiful story! I think, depending on her personality, it might be a story she'd appreciate once she's an adult. Mama love doesn't always come in the way we expect it.<br>
Thank you so much for sharing.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>hanno</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7321360"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">What a beautiful story! I think, depending on her personality, it might be a story she'd appreciate once she's an adult. Mama love doesn't always come in the way we expect it.<br>
Thank you so much for sharing.</div>
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I was thinking the same thing...it's really a sweet story and one day she might love to hear it.<br>
I'm glad to hear these stories too...pregnancy isn't always a bed of roses!
 

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Thanks for sharing- while both my pregnancies were planned, it's really nice to hear about women who chose to keep their babies for better or worse and then become really glad they made that decision. It's so difficult to remember that even things we don't want or plan can be beautiful, wonderful and blessed.<br>
Jenns 3 Babies- I think God gave you those babies too- and even though it hasn't been easy for you it's nice to hear you say how much you love them.<br>
I look at ds sometimes and think, 'I love you so much my heart aches sometimes, how is that possible and yet does every mother feel that? does my mom feel that way about me and my siblings?' It's funny too, because it seems to grow as they grow-<br>
A
 
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