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I am just so very sorry. I hope that the D&C can provide you with at least a little bit of closure- I know how terrifying just waiting to miscarry can be.<br><br>
I don't blame you for not wanting testing on your little one. The thought is unbearable. I will say that sometimes they can test for chromosomal defects, but that won't really tell you if it was a result of your dh's sperm or just a random occurrence.<br><br>
Whatever you decide, I wish you peace and a quick recovery. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I understand the need for closure to be able to move on. With my first loss, I opted for the d&c after 3 weeks of *not* miscarrying, waiting and waiting, sick and still feeling pg. It was torture for me. I was so glad for the d&c and it wasn't nearly as awful as I had expected.<br><br>
Take care, hoping you find some little peace in all of this to help you through. The Pregnancy and Birth Loss board has been a lifesaver for me. Terrric support.
 

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I am so terribly sorry for your loss. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> mama
 

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Discussion Starter #45
Doctor's office just called back. My D&C is scheduled for 8 am Tuesday morning. I'm not sure how we're going to do that, since Matt works 7 pm to 5 am. I guess he's just going to have to buck up and take me.<br><br>
Oh yes, and I guess we can't test the baby even if we wanted to (which I don't) because they can only test living cells, and babe's been gone far too long. He/she passed at 7w5d according to ultrasound and where am I right now? 10w4d? I think that's right. She said that the only cells they'd be able to get to grow would be mine.<br><br>
I was really liking this doctor's office up until now. But I've only had interaction with her NP, who is FABULOUS. What is it about doctors that makes me feel so dumb? Surely they don't do it on purpose.<br><br>
I'm not going to get my tubes tied just yet. I think I was freaking out, and I'm still freaking out, but not as bad as I was. I just feel so betrayed.
 

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The level of betrayal and anger I felt surprised me each time I lost a pregnancy. They really outweighed any sorrow I felt- I was just this tight ball of rage for a long, long time after each of them. I still don't think I've gotten over that. I think it's our brain's way of protecting us against the sadness, at least for a while.<br><br>
You are in my thoughts. Big hugs to you. I wish there was more I could do. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I am so sorry for your loss. Sadly, many women, myself included, have endured the heartbreak and betrayal of miscarriage. I had two healthy, uneventful pregnancies followed by two unexpected miscarriages. The first I had a d&c because the bleeding was on the brink of hemorrhaging and the pain was too much to bear. I agree with the other posters that it was not as bad as I had expected. I felt like I had a timely conclusion physically, though emotionally I'm not sure I'll ever forget the pain.<br><br>
I am now on pregnancy #5, baby #3. My ob said the same thing about progesterone, but she willingly prescribed it for me. I am now 28 weeks along and just *finally* accepting that I am having a baby (still trying to push aside all of the other fears too, but for the most part I *believe* we are having a baby).<br><br>
The loss boards are a great support, you are not alone. We are all here to support each other in a time so difficult only those of us who have been through the heartache can truly understand it.<br><br>
Sending healing thoughts.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>pottermama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7635971"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't understand your doctors comment about progestrone. I have seen it work with me and many other women on the pregnancy after loss board. So don't give up on that.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
I didn't use suppositories, but took supplements to boost progesterone. It is making a difference. It wouldn't make a difference if you aren't low in progesterone, but it can definately help if you are.
 

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I have no idea how you must be feeling or what to say to help you, but I do want to say that I am very sorry for your loss. *hugs*
 

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When I Lost My Baby I Got Pg Wit My Ds Brian And I Almost Lost Him As Well. My Progesterone Levels Were At .08 When They Should Have Been At 15.00 Or Higher At 10 Wks N I Was Bleeding Something That Didnt Happened Wit The Pg That I Had A Missed Misscarige With. My Ob Told Me That Progesterone Doesn't Do Anything And To Wait For The Worst (i Have Not Been Back To Him Again) I Bought Progesterone Cream And Put It On 2 Times A Day N Thank God My Son Will Be 2yrs. Next Month So Don't Listen To Them. Maybe U Should Get Another Ob That Actually Cares About Your Situation.
 

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I just read this, and I am so so sorry. My heart absolutely aches for you.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I am so very sorry.
 

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I hope the d&c goes smoothly. It does sound like a good idea to have it now, since you are sick. Do you know what kind of anesthesia they'll use? You have options, although they won't offer you any. If they routinely prescribe uterine-contracting drugs or antibiotics, question that too.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">she says that progesterone supplements have not been proven to do ANYTHING.</td>
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That makes me mad. Neither has electronic monitoring. Neither have episiotomies. Neither have most of the routine interventions they use during delivery. Since when does proven outcomes have anything to do with obstetrics in this country?<br><br>
Can your husband take off work the night before? Mine took off work to take me to the d&c and that was good. Or maybe the night after would be even better, so he can take care of you a little.
 

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Thinking of you Misti. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/candle.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Candle">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s
 

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Discussion Starter #56
I vomited yesterday morning for the first time this pregnancy. I go in in a few minutes to sign paperwork and some other stuff (I'm not sure what) and the D&C is tomorrow morning. I'm going to try to get another ultrasound today. I was reading yesterday that hCG levels can slow and even fall around the 10 week mark, and I'm not sure how much I trust that blood flow thing on the ultrasound. I just feel SO PREGNANT. It's so weird. I will keep y'all posted, ok?<br><br>
Matt has to work on Tuesday night, but I think that's ok, since I'll just be sleeping anyway. He's off tonight, so at least he'll be able to drive me home. They are going to use a general, but I don't know what it is. I went to the same place to have my kidney stones removed last year, and I didn't even ask them what meds they were using. I do know they put morphine in my IV, though. Kidney stones REALLY suck. More than anything I have ever experienced.<br><br>
I don't care what she says about the progesterone. She also said it causes cleft lips and palates. I don't know why she's trying to scare me so much...Oh yeah, guess what she said to me? "Where does your boyfriend work?" I said, "He's my husband", and she goes, "Oh, wow, I'm so glad you're married" just as she was checking my cervix (Which is tightly closed BTW).<br><br>
I can't help but feel judged by her. Everybody tells me that we shouldn't have another right now, including my mother....and when I tell them I'm miscarrying, they give me the pity face and some spiel abut how "it was for the best anyway..." And then lecture me about birth control and how we should wait a few more years. I want my kids relatively close together (my yougnest is 4, for crying out loud) and I don't want to be 60 watching them graduate from high school. Sigh.<br><br>
Anyway, tangent.....but I will get that progesterone from somewhere, if I have to cross the border into Mexico for it.<br><br>
Thanks for all your continued thoughts. I know it sucks to read all this on the birth board, when you are filled with fears of your own, but I just can't tell my story to another new group just yet. Maybe when it's all over I'll move to the Miscarriage board.
 

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I am so sorry you're feeling that way. Your mw's comment about marriage was way out of line.<br><br>
I suspect that she meant there was no empirical data about progesterone, since it's probably pretty hard to PROVE in the first trimester what works and what doesn't- it's such a hit or miss thing sometimes and I don't think we fully understand about early pg loss. However, progesterone is generally considered to be a good line of defense a lot of the time, so I hope she meant that there was no definite data and not that it didn't work.<br><br>
I'll be thinking about you tomorrow. And I have been for the weekend. Please don't worry about posting here. We want to help. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I'm so sorry your mw is so unsupportive and rude, and I'm sorry you don't have a supportive network in those around you right now when you could truly use one. But please remember you have one here <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug">.<br><br>
Many of us have been through loss as well and can understand what you are living right now. I am so sorry for all that has happened.<br>
I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.<br><br>
Please keep us posted. Lean on us. Many <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">.<br><br>
Also~~ Progesterone supp has been what I needed to carry my Babies through my first trimesters and I know that. Do not lose faith in what progesterone supp. are capable of doing. Many more <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">.
 

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You are welcome here. Thank you for posting the update. That is nuts that your mw assumed you aren't married. Do you look really young? Also crummy that people around you are not supportive of ttc. There are plenty of disadvantages to having children later, the way most people do now - I think it's great if you are having them young!<br><br>
I hope the d&c goes okay. it should be better than kidney stones. I didn't have general for mine, just Versed. (you're awake, but remember nothing later. Creepy in its way, but the recovery is easier)<br><br>
I hope they give you an ultrasound today, too. I had an extra one before the d&c, to be sure the baby was still dead and hadn't been absorbed. It helped.
 

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I Hope Everything Goes Smoothly. If U Are Interested In The Progesterone Cream They Are Available At Your Local Natural Health Food Store In Mostly Places Where U Can Buy Herbal Supplements N It Works Just As Well As The Suppositories Because It Gets Absorbed In To Your Skin Fairly Quickly Just Rub A Good Amount On Breasts N Stomach A Couple Times A Day.
 
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