[momcat]

"M. see Mommy's headphones..." LOL! You are too funny, Breathe!

You know I feel your pain! Because I have to work, though, ds is on an earlier schedule for waking and sleeping than he'd prefer. When we went to San Francisco, he had an awful day with the flights, no naps, etc, so we just got him onto pacific time right away. Any chance of trying one hellish day with no (or little) napping, then trying to re-establish a bedtime and waking time? I don't know if it would work for your wild man, but I could have sworn it wouldn't have worked for W, either. Worked in reverse on the way home, too, btw. Still takes forever to get him to sleep, but at least it's at a reasonable hour - if he fights us, it's still only 9 or 9:30 when he's finally out.

And I'll 'fess up to a margarita last night...!
*clink!*

 

[momcat]

I have a better idea - hop on a plane and come visit us! Then, you have a crazy day that is, at least, filled with activity and you'll have someone to share that wine with by the time the day's over!

 

[momcat]

Come on over, Analisa! Although it is in the 90's again today, and we have um... no real guest rooms... but hey! The kids don't sleep anyway, so we can have a big slumber party in the livingroom! Been thinking of you today, A - any news yet? We'll be waiting...

 

[momcat]

Thanks, Breathe, for your neat "summing-up" here. I want to add to your list of Sears complaints - the one spot I got stuck on was the idea that if you teach your baby lots of different ways to go to sleep, it will eventually happen quickly and easily. This definitely did not work for us. We started a routine with ds about a week ago (just before your first post - lol!) for naps and bedtime, and it is starting to work beautifully. He still wakes often, but the initial entering sleep stage is getting easier. I think it might be easier for me to teach him to resettle himself if I night-wean him (he's 20 mos old on Fri), so that may be our next hurdle... and I KNOW it's going to involve crying. Ugh. I'm just trying to wait until all of his eye teeth are in - they are really bugging the poor guy.

So thanks, everyone, for your stories - isn't it nice to know we're not in this alone?!

 

[momcat]

sozobe - we were typing at the same time. I'd love to hear more advice from folks.

Thanks, too, for going back to The Baby Book. I think you're right - it is tricky to make the same things work for toddlers, and it would be much easier to transition ds if he had an older sib to model nightime patterns. Thanks for your insights.

 

[momcat]

Oh, I hear all of you... again.

I hereby declare myself queen of the bedtime-haters club. Three words: vacation, canines (as in eye teeth) and thrush. Yes, friends, we're playing for the grand prize. Oh, and did I mention that I'm doing this without dh, who is home sleeping ALONE in our bed ALL NIGHT with NO WAKINGS? I am tempted to call every time ds wakes me up... heh, heh, heh... (if I knew how to insert these stupid smilies, I'd do that demonic one right here - work with me, folks)...

Things I have considered (but not yet done):
yelling
sobbing
bribing
leaving the room
leaving the state
leaving the country
night-weaning
weaning, period
drinking scotch
having ds drink scotch...

you get the picture.

okay, sorry for the vent. but i was invited to do so, right?!

hang in there, mamas!

 

[momcat]

There's a funny article in the Spring, 2003 issue of Brain, Child entitled something like "Why I Hate Dr. Sears." It made me laugh. It also, apparently, garnered more mail (pro and con) from readers than almost any article they have ever published! If you can get your hands on a copy of it, I highly recommend it!

 

[momcat]

I guess the article made me laugh because we're in the throes of the sleep-fighting situation, and I have wondered many, many times if I was just plain nuts to follow "the book" as closely as I have. As a new mom whose mother was not (and continues not to be) very accessible, and having no close friends who were moms, AND having no AP support in my geographical area, I did follow the advice to a T. Now that I have gained my footing, I realize that what I did was out of fear, and I wish it had been different in a lot of ways. I think that there ARE a lot of ways to figure out how to parent effectively, and I think that I DID/DO need to AP my ds, for BOTH of us. I did feel a LOT of guilt, however, when I went back to work and put ds into day care - and it was the best decision I could have made, for all kinds of reasons.

So... I understand the strong negative reactions to the article, truly. But I also understand the frustration and concern underneath it all, too, which is probably why I appreciated it.

Let the hijacking continue...!

 

[momcat]

I swear, Breathe, you and I have GOT to get out of one another's heads! Here's my story of late:

Ds (almost 21 mos) and I are flying solo this month (without dh) and I decided it was time to begin to teach him how to nap on his own, more or less. I lie down with him and hold him in a bear hug until he falls asleep. It's actually starting to work. He squirms a little bit, flops, rolls, pokes me in the eye, pulls on my lips, "honks" my nose, etc, but I am breathing, I am "calm," I am determined. There is no other choice, since there is no backup person. It had gotten better until today, the day of no naps. I have no idea what tomorrow will be like, but I am exhausted tonight.

He still sleeps with me at night, still wakes, but is starting to wake less frequently. Hmm... correlation? I wonder...

I have convinced dh to set up a crib next to our bed so that ds can sleep beside me in the crib (same height, side down, co-sleeper style) because I'm wondering if he just wants more room at night. (dh, ds, and I all sleep in a double bed - not even a queen!) This will, I hope, be in place when we return home this weekend.

I, too, hope and pray for a sleeper the next time around... although I'm not positive there will be a next time around just yet!!!!!!!!!

 

[momcat]

I am definitely not even THINKING about having another child until ds figures out the sleep thing FOR GOOD. That might mean we wait until he's 15.

Right around his 2nd b'day (he's now 26 mos) he figured out how to sleep through the night and I was ecstatic! Now, however, we're trying to get him into his own bed (still in our room) and we're back to square one. Amazingly, when he is at day care, he not only goes to sleep by himself, but he doesn't use any comfort items to do it, either. AND he sleeps for two hours without waking. What the heck am I doing wrong?! I think there's definitely some sort of positive peer pressure, since the other 2 kids also nap around the same time. Our DCP is very AP, too, so I know she didn't train him to do this via any sort of CIO method.

Hugs, Breathe - I wish I had some words of wisdom, but... well, at least you have my sympathy!