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Discussion Starter · #22 ·
Moon, how do I get one of those sleeping babies, next time around?!?! Please let me know, 'cause I think asherah wants one, too!

That's what dh and I will toast to tonight, at midnight, after ds is snoozing:

"Here's to the next one being a Sleeper!"

(not that we're even TTC, but I'm thinkin' we may need to toast to that MANY times between now and then!)

LizaJane'sMom, you may as well start toasting to that, too . . . Maybe it's not too late for your little one!

Oy. We're getting PUNCHY around here!
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by Breathe
Moon, how do I get one of those sleeping babies, next time around?!?! Please let me know, 'cause I think asherah wants one, too!

I honestly think g*d or fate or kismet, pick one, took pity on me.

Honestly, if I'd gotten another one like Maeve, I would have ......well, I don't know. It was that bad. There are 9 years between them, what does that tell you? (j/k-circumstances, not planning)

And they are parented almost exactly the same, I was slightly more AP with Maeve, and Sophie has an older sister and didn't nurse as long...that's it, those are the differences............so it's NOT YOU.
 

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I bought a booklike from Barnes and Noble that clips onto the back of the book, and you can focus the light where you want it. I sit on dd's bed with my knees up (well at least until my belly gets bigger! lol!) and rest the book on it, partially closed. The light doesn't shing on dd's face or anywhere near her. And like I said she knows not to touch it. It took some working with her but *my* needs are important too. I knew it was not violating her trust in any way to threaten a time out if she kept touching my book light. She needs to be taught boundaries sometimes.

Darshani
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by Breathe
Curly, You are definitely on to something with asking about the wake-up times and naps. My little punkin is a night-owl and he comes by it naturally. His preference would be to sleep until 9:30 am, nap from 3-6, and then be up until 11 or 12. And who can blame him?! That sounds perfect to me, too! But the problem is (as someone later pointed out) that WE NEED SOME FRICKIN' TIME TO OURSELVES!!!
I mean, I give him everything I've got ALL DAY LONG, but I have got to have some R&R at the end of the day. Ok, ok, preaching to the choir, I know.
I am a very very lucky person [don't hit me] and my hubby can usually choose when he goes to work so I don't know if this would be an option, BUT [cower]:

The schedule you describe is basically exactly the schedule my dd is on, although she takes shorter naps (~2 hrs) and sometimes doesn't nap at all (earlier bedtime... ahhh.) She usually either sleeps 11 hrs overnight or 9 hrs overnight + 2 hr nap. She and I go to sleep at the same time. Pretty painless. Then I wake up a couple of hours BEFORE her, and that's when I get my R&R time and time with hubby -- in the morning. It works pretty well for me -- R& R to start the day, and dh helps out at night while I have some time to myself (online et al.)

Just puttin' that out there since I've been surprised how often people assume it's necessary for babies and toddlers to go to sleep early. My dd seems totally happy with this schedule. We'll have to adjust it for school, but we already have and can just continue -- she was going to bed 12-1 (we're night owls, too) and is now more like 10:30-11.
 

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Discussion Starter · #27 ·
sozobe, I think that's a fabulous suggestion (no need to cower . . . I was just trying to scare away the polly-annas with my original grumpy post!).
I think it's important to remember that it's the TOTAL amount of sleep that counts, not neccessarily the exact timing of it. Good for you for being so flexible and creative!

Unfortunately for me, dh goes to work very early (he's gone by 7 am), so I could potentially get up before ds and have alone time, but I would miss out on dh time at night. ('Aint no WAY I'm getting up at the crack of dawn to be with him . . . at least not until we're sleeping thru the nite!) After ds goes to bed is the only time dh and I get during the week, and we've learned (the hard way) that it is *very* important to our relationship and overall happiness.

But I will keep this in mind as another strategy if we truly get stretched and need to change something.

And thanks Moon, for the reassurance . . . I've always hoped it isn't just me, but we won't know until dc #2 comes along . . . and given the state of things around here, I'm guessin' that's still a ways off!
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by Breathe
On a serious note, Analisa and Darshani: Does the booklight not distrub them as they're trying to fall asleep? I've always assumed that the reason I could put ds on the bed awake at night but not for naps, was bc it was dark. (During the day he thinks it time for "jumpin' on da bed!" so I have to sling him.)

And yes, Analisa, PM us or something -- We need to know how many lima beans are in there!!! (You didn't know you had so many "partners" sharing in your pregnancy, did you?!?)
See my sig.


The Light Wedge only lights the book page and very little else. Sometimes she expresses mild interest in it but gets over it quickly.
 

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Discussion Starter · #29 ·
. . . but ds went down in about 7 min tonight.


Here's what we did, but I would NEVER be so arrogant to assume that it had ANYTHING to do with our stellar parenting, or even that it will EVER work again!

Last night he didn't go down until 10:30 (hence the ranting and raving).

But this a.m., he woke up at 7:30, even tho he usually sleeps for 11 hours. I was WIPED, but knew it *might* be the change we needed.

I was a VERY good girl and cut all activities short so he was down for a nap at 12:30. He slept until 3:15, at which point I woke him up. I knew I was violating the long nap rule, but I figured he was making up for waking up early, so in reality it was only a 1 hr nap. And he was up by 3:30, where yesterday we wasn't up until 5:30.

Then we were very disciplined again tonite and left an outdoor concert after only an hour, so that we were home by 7:15.

Bath at 8:00 (he had a very long poop in between or we would have been in there earlier -- sorry, but I know *some* of you are interested in these kinds of details)

Jammies and nitetime dipe on by 8:20

Walk around neighborhood, home by 8:45

Sweet sleepy talk on the way into the house ("goodnight trees, goodnight stairs, goodnight M's bathtub, etc etc")

Nursed for 5 min

Quick and silent handoff to dh at 8:50

Ds put his head right down on dh's shoulder, and then next thing I knew, dh emerged from the room victorious at 9:00!!!!!!

Thank you, Goddess, Universe, Creator, or whomever is watching over me tonight!

Note that the nitetime routine was *exactly* what we always do, but somehow we managed to time things perfectly so he was really tired, but not yet manic.

Good Gravy. I have two graduate degrees and this is BY FAR the hardest thing I have EVER done!

Hope you all have some luck tonite (or in the very near future) too! I'm sending out soporific vibes to you all! (Sorry, it's one of my favorite Beatrix Potter words!)

 

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Wohoo!
Funny how that out door stuff can really wear them out. We played in the rain today and collected rain water and he helped me do laundry and straighten up the house. He was begging to nurse by 8:30 and asleep by 8:45! We usually take a walk too but it was raining hard.

Have a great night all! BTW, I like to lay in bed and read next to ds (with the light on) after he is asleep. I cant even imagine what he will be like in a few months. I am keeping my fingers crossed though!





 

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OMG I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I HATE bedtime too - HATE it HATE it! And DH always makes me feel so guilty about it. But by the end of the day, I'm wiped and don't want to nurse anymore and don't want to cuddle and hold and rock forever, play anymore, etc.

And I've had the same thoughts - that I did all this AP stuff and where the h*ll is my easy AP child? And also that I've created this situation with all the AP stuff so why am I so unhappy with it? Thank you, thank you for your post!!!!

Good suggestions from people too - this has lately become such a nightmare at my house and I've been looking for suggestions.
 

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i gave up a long time ago. it wasn't worth it to my boobs. as an infant and young toddler she'd never let go. i had to pry her off every time. would nurse while wide awake for an hour or more at a time if i let her. it's only recently (now almost 2.5) that occasionally she'll pop off of her own volition. so, that's the long lead up to...if she isn't out in 20 minutes daddy gets her or we get up to play. she's also a night owl, so 10:30 sounds heavenly to me, breathe. she does usually go down pretty easily within the 20 minutes, though. it's also only recently that she's given us a couple of evenings to ourselves if she skips her nap. if she naps she's up til we are (or later
: ). 12midnight or 1am isn't at all uncommon. if it's 11pm i usually feel like we're doing well. she gets a lot more daddy time than she would if she went down at 8pm, though. today, though, she woke up early for her at 8am (early night last night after no nap) and stayed up til 9:30 with no nap. i thought for sure she'd crash in the carseat this afternoon while we were out driving around, but nooooo. she's just not interested in sleep sometimes. at night the other night she said "no sleep" or something like that. i try to keep in mind what i read in "our babies, ourselves" about the US being a somewhat sleep obsessed parenting culture when it gets like this. the worst, though, is when she takes a nap at 7:30pm and then wakes up at 10:30 or 11 ready to play.
ugh. had one of those several weeks ago and we were up til 3am. mama was really about to fall out then.

sounds like you had a great night tonight. here's to many more!
 

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Mine was gone by 8:54. The secret? Took her swimming after dinner. (an hour after, don't worry). It was still hot here so we all went (along with Bobby). Wore the little mite out. She and Bobby are snoring away.

Ahh...the agony. The ecstasy.

Denny
 

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that's too funny, denny. i just read your barbie/bobby post. i'm dreading the day dd wants one, but we'll deal when it comes. she's obsessed with seals and sea lions now. has about 7 i think. has been this way for 6 months or more. it's pretty cute, but (to make this somewhat more on topic) they don't usually go to bed with her/us. occasionally if she's really putting up a fuss, "you don't wanna read a 'tory! you don't wanna go to bedroom," we'll bring the moment's favored toy with us to ease the transition. i don't like to roll over on seals and duplos, though, so i don't encourage that practice.

congrats on 8:54!
 

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Wanted to add my vote for considering bedtime the most stressful time of my day. It seems like I go through all the challenges of the day, knowing the big one lies ahead, for when I'm least up for it.

We have something that works pretty well, but it's a huge long ritual.
 

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Oh yes, I am right there in the "sleepytime is h-ll" club. Although since DD turned 2 nighttime has been gradually easier. But naptime...I don't even want to talk about it today. Bad week. I at least FINALLY got DD to nap somewhere besides the car, so that is good. I literally drove her around till she fell asleep for over a year. A YEAR! I hated it, put tons of miles on the car, but was smart enough to know that a nap at any cost was better than no nap at all! But it takes her like 45 minutes or an hour to settle in for her nap lately, although she's plenty tired. And I'm so not in the mood. We need breaks at least as much as the kiddos do, if not more!

We did nightweaned gradually betwen 19-24 months, which helped tremendously with at least getting it where DH can put DD to bed when he is home. Just taking some of the burden off me helped.

I can't tell you how many times I've prayed to the heavens to please, please, please give me a willing sleeper for my next child, too! (If I ever regain the strength and sanity to have another child, that is!) I actually avoided MDC for a long time recently b/c I got so freakin' tired of all the useless advice from people who seem to think I maybe hadn't "figured out" how to get my child to sleep. Like those of us with sleepfighters have not literally tried it ALL and then some! Grrrrrr. I know people mean well and just do NOT get what it is like, but all I can say is an uncharitable...Must be nice to have a child who willingly sleeps, so you can pat yourself on the back and think you had something to do with it!
:

Carol
 

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Discussion Starter · #38 ·
Denny, You are my new best friend. I knew that dh wouldn't be home in time for bedtime tonight, so I took ds swimming. I just had a feeling that would work for us -- the best sleep he's ever had in his life was around his 1st birthday when we went to the beach for a week . . . He slept from 9 pm to 6 am EVERY NIGHT without waking! And tonight he was out in 15 minutes!!! (We went from 6-7, after dinner, and came right home and got in the tub. He was alseep by 9. PHEW!) Thank you, thank you, thank you for reminding me of this HEAVENLY trick!!!


girrllie, I have a friend (who's probably reading this very thread!) who wants to write a book with the TRUTH about AP . . . that it's INTENSE and hard as all get-out some of the time, but worth it, of course. Sounds like you're in for a chapter, huh? Maybe the_dalai_mama and Curious would like to collaborate as well?


And beanma, you're a special mama . . . I happen to know you've got a bun in the oven and you're STILL willing and able to stay up with your little marine biologist 'till the wee hours!!! I don't know how you do it.

I will say that I suspect the reason we are so sleep-obsessed in this culture is bc we work all the damn time -- Right now everyone in Europe is preparing for 6 weeks of vacation. Today millions of Latinos (in *other* countries) took a ciesta. But we work and work and work until we can't remember why we're working, and we are some sleep-deprived folks. Truly, if I couldn't sleep until my punkin woke up each day (which is thankfully at a very humane hour and NEVER the crack of dawn), AND take naps when I needed to, I couldn't do this AP stuff. You WOHM's who AP are a wonderful, self-sacrificing mystery to me!

So you see, all that whining DID help me, 'cause I found out that I'm not alone in this AND I got some good ideas! But isn't it interesting that sometimes, *sometimes*, when you feel you can't go on any longer, something shifts and you don't have to? Not that my bedtime ordeals are over -- but two good nites in a row sounds like a winning streak to me!!!!

Hoping your wee ones are asleep before the wee hours,
El
 

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Polyanna #1 here...just popping in to agree that the sleep times dont matter just the quality and the quantity. My ds generally does 11 hours a night too! And when he wakes up at 7:00 vs 8:00 or 9am and got only 10 or so hours he goes down at noon or sooner too.

BTW, El, the poop reference killed me! I'm the type of mom that appreciates those details. They really matter.




Happy days are here again for me too. Ds went down in 15 minutes.
Good luck to all!
 

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Discussion Starter · #40 ·
CL, I was *actually* thinking of you when I included the poop reference -- KNEW you would appreciate that!


EllasMama, LOVE your dry wit. You make me laugh! If anybody gives you that kind of "helpful advice" again, I got your back, Girlfriend!
 
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