Quote:
Originally posted by Iguanavere
Get strict with your nighttime routine. Do not deviate. Do not be afraid of your child's anger over the new limits (boundaries) just empathize that changes are hard but this is the best for everyone. (Geez, I just read that and I sound like a babywiser - eek. Remember we are talking about toddlers - not tiny babies!)
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Warning, This is long and may not be coherent, but I hope someone finds it worthwhile:
"Routine" seems to get a bad name around here sometimes. I-vere makes it clear she is not talking about routines for tiny babies, but there are ROUTINES, and then there are routines. Gentle rhythms to the day can provide cues that smooth out the rough spots.
After reading here I realize I have little to complain about. Most of my problem, I realized, was my anxiety that Dd would wake up again for hours, like when she was newborn. Once I talked sense to myself, that eventually she'll fall asleep and pretty much stay asleep (I haven't dreamed of nightweaning - nursing is why she stays asleep), and she doesn't wake up for the prolonged periods I used to dread.
I will admit here that we have what could be called a strict bedtime routine. It's nice family time for everyone, with sensory delights including bubble bath and music and massage and laughing. It's strict in that I march through it step by step the same way every night. And part of the routine has included a schedule, because Dd napped better on a schedule, and then slept better, than when we didn't have one. And with a less topsy-turvy course to our day, I napped better and felt better too. With a schedule I got to eat on a more regular basis, so I wasn't getting hypoglycemic.
I will admit here that I started this when Dd was a Tiny Baby. Because the nights were horrible and Dh and I had to do something. So I decided that I would set up this routine and funny thing, Dd took to it really fast, and did much better.
Now she understands this routine because with a few changes as her needs have changed as she's gotten older, it's all she knows. And I'm happy to say that no matter how wound up she seems, with rare exceptions she konks out by the time a certain song comes around on the lullabye CD.
There was some suggestion in other posts that AP creates these sleep trials and that's probably true. I am not saying CIO at all - let me be clear, but I am going to stick my neck out and say that routines sometimes get a bad name on these boards. I don't think telling our tiny babies that they get a bath and then naked timme, a massage and then a diaper and then lights out but you can nurse all you want for the rest of the night while I hold you, is the same as saying there's the crib, see you in the morning.
Another point on some of the gymnastics people go through to get kids to sleep. I have a bad back and Dd was a big baby. By 4 months, I could not walk her, and I could never do jiggles our bounces. She was very sensitive to my position - how she knew to cry when I sat and stop when I stood I didn't know. But one day she was just too heavy to walk. Of course I was not going to sleep train her as had been suggested to me, but I did not see the point of teaching a growing baby that she was going to be carried for hours on end. The sling did not work much for us, because after she fell asleep, we had the problem of getting her out of it without waking her up.
I sat in the rocker with her and said "I'll hold you, I'll rock you, you can nurse, I'll stay with you all night, but I cannot walk with you." She fussed quite a bit, when she cried I'd stand for a minute and sit down again . After that night she was happy in the rocker. So at least when she takes her time falling asleep, I'm comfortalbe and that makes a big difference. Instead of thinking of my aching neck, arms, and back, I could think about how pretty my baby was.
Now maybe all of this is her temperment, and has nothing to do with all my calculated measures to lull her to sleep. But I did want to make my points about routines having their place, even for young babies, and that holding the baby but not doing gymnastics is not the same as CIO.
There are many things about Dd that I can say are more likely due to her temperment than to my artful parenting, but for sleep I think my well thought out tactics have truly been helpful. Then again, maybe I'm wrong...I guess I just think it might be helpful for others to consider routines pretty early on, and give lots of thought to what alternatives to the walking and bouncing might be worth trying.
