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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Well, to be more precise, I hate going to the playground and there's other people there. It just ends up being so much work. Ds1 is 26mo and of course has a tough time sharing and always wants other kids toys (and of course absolutely does not want to share his). It doesn't matter what I bring for him. The worst part is that he can be pretty aggressive about it. I try to make sure I have snacks and we go in the a.m. before he's tired, but I've still had to drag him away screaming because he gets aggressive and it seems nothing i do works.
Let me add that it is nearly impossible to distract him. He has a one track mind and is really stubborn. I don't like pulling things out of his hands, but what else can I do if he won't give a child their toy back? I always ask him to give it back, and talk about sharing and how the other child feels, but he could care less! So when i finally get the toy out of his death grip (did i mention he is strong??) he loses his mind and then i start losing mine.
So is it wrong to avoid this situation, do I need to keep going so he gets more "socialized"? I honestly dread it! I hover constantly to try to stop things before they start, but I feel like the other moms wish we would just go home. Am I the only one with a toddler who just can't "get" the sharing thing yet??
I wish trips to the park were peaceful, and I could sit and nurse my newborn while my toddler happily plays on the slide...
Any advice would be appreciated, but I really just needed to vent!
 

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My son is 25 months, and we have very, very similar playground experiences. Um....we haven't been in a while. That's how I handle it.
: We do take lots of walks, and IF the playground is empty then we'll go, but we leave if/when it gets busy with more kids and their stuff. I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant, and I can't handle his tantruming, so we play at home. A lot.
 

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He definitely doesn't need "socializing" at that age. At that age, we would go to the park at 8am - before all the moms who just put their older kids on the bus or those who waited til after bus time to take a shower and therefore get there 9ish or later. It's quiet, we are usually there by ourselves, and it is MUCH cooler.

Do you have a yard? If you do, I say just stick to that! sprinklers? kiddie pools? bubbles? Sidewalk chalk? Then you can at least sit in a chair and chill with your babe. Or work on getting out for exploring walks not in the stroller. My guy will be 3 in oct and he still won't really safely walk next to me enough to be near a busy street, but we are working on it. On the days where I just don't have it in me to go to the park, we explore the neighborhood.

It certainly isn't leisurely sitting on a park bench, nursing your babe while your toddler plays, but really, who with two kids that age does that (for more than a second?) When you see you folks (mamas with newborns and young toddlers) and I always wonder how you do it!
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I do, thankfully, have a fenced in yard and he likes to play there, but he gets bored. And like Golden's little guy, he still won't walk safely beside me all the time...we are working on it too!
Anyway, it's good to know I won't be depriving him if we don't go to the park everyday. Neither of us seems to enjoy it right now.
I've gotta get some sidewalk chalk!!
Anika
 

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Would it help not to bring toys to the park? We've always treated the park as about play structures, running and looking for leaves or watching squirrels. Also, can you look around and see if there are any unpopular or older parks in your community. We found our son did better at the not so good small neighborhood parks when he was little like that. They were usually more empty.
 

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Quote:
I wish trips to the park were peaceful, and I could sit and nurse my newborn while my toddler happily plays on the slide...

lol, that reminds me of daydreams i used to have of my ds quietly playing at my feet as i work on the computer - hasn't happened yet for more than 5 minutes!

ds is actually quite cooperative about sharing most of the time, he is younger than yours and an only (so far). we give a lot of praise when he shares at the playground. our problem is that he insists on carrying a toy truck or train everywhere, and he will throw it when he is unhappy. last time he did this at storytime at the library, he missed another little boy's ear by inches! yes, i am one of those mothers. maybe we will skip storytime unless i can swap out a softer lighter toy for him to hold.
:
 

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I also wanted to add that at this age, my toddler does much, much better with one-on-one playdates. He's ok in small groups for short times, but honestly, the whole toy thing is just crazy. He wants what everyone else has, and why shouldn't he? It's new, fun, and he's never seen it before. Bringing our own toys is just a waste of time. And it's strange to me that the OTHER kids will just sit and play with their stuff, same age as him, it's not what I'm accustomed to.

We get bored at home too. So I agree - try the park when it's not busy at all, or try individual playtimes in your own yard so you're not always chasing him around.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Roar View Post
Would it help not to bring toys to the park? We've always treated the park as about play structures, running and looking for leaves or watching squirrels. Also, can you look around and see if there are any unpopular or older parks in your community. We found our son did better at the not so good small neighborhood parks when he was little like that. They were usually more empty.
I never used to bring toys, but I was starting to feel bad because ds would play with everyone elses toys. We have a pretty quiet playground close by, but one of the structures is rather dangerous and ds is a real monkey. He does know how to climb up safely and generally comes right down the slide, but sometimes he stands at the top by the openings which makes me really nervous. I don't know how I would catch him with a baby in the sling. So we go to the other (busier) park because the structures are safer. I think I'll just wait until dp is home and we'll all go after supper! When it's cooler, quiter and with an extra set of hands!
A

ps I think I'm feeling extra sensitive about it because we went on a playdate yesterday and it seemed like my ds was the only one who was causing problems and I was the only one with two kids, so I was totally overwhelmed.
 

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I think his actions are totally age appropriate, so I wouldn't worry there. I agree with PP's, I would just totally avoid the park if there are other people there. 2 year olds are little ego maniacs and developmentally for the most part just simply don't have the ability to grasp sharing, empathy etc. That all comes later (in my experience anyways).


Have you tried finding a soccer field or something of the like where you can chase a ball around and do something active and fun like that with just the two of you? I know what you mean about getting bored with your own yard.


I would take my DS (who just turned 3 in May and is very much like your DS) to places where he could run like mad, wasn't expected to share or socialize and still stay safe (ie places that are big, but still fenced or not by roadways etc) and that is what worked for us for the longest time. Plan a picnic, take paints/paper, bubbles all that fun stuff to somewhere else for a change of scenery.

HTH!
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
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Originally Posted by bdavis337 View Post
I also wanted to add that at this age, my toddler does much, much better with one-on-one playdates. He's ok in small groups for short times, but honestly, the whole toy thing is just crazy. He wants what everyone else has, and why shouldn't he? It's new, fun, and he's never seen it before. Bringing our own toys is just a waste of time. And it's strange to me that the OTHER kids will just sit and play with their stuff, same age as him, it's not what I'm accustomed to.

We get bored at home too. So I agree - try the park when it's not busy at all, or try individual playtimes in your own yard so you're not always chasing him around.
I totally agree about one on one playdates. The other advantage of that is that I can actually talk with the other mom about it and I often learn from the experience instead of becoming totally frazzled.
 

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I remember going thru the same thing with DS. We did other things for a bit; then revisited the playground after a month or two. Sharing and developing a sense of others' feeling is hard for a little person who is still mostly ego


Maybe if you leave the situation for now, when you come back he will be a little more able to handle being around other children and thier toys, kwim?
 

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We avoid playgrounds as much as possible. We're partial to wide open natural spaces instead, since there's less of what you described at the playground--in general, it seems like kids in natural spaces don't need to fight over stuff since there's usually enough rocks and sticks to make everybody happy.


And if you're in an urban area, even empty lots will work. We're in a mid-size city, and my 28 month old DD's favorite place in the world is just a big empty field (with a few trees for running around, lots of little daisies and a plethora of bugs).

And one-on-one playdates in natural spaces are the BEST.
 

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Mama. DS is almost 4 and I still avoid the playground unless it is completely empty.

And then I go get my niece and nephew and let DS play with his cousins!

Otherwise, it's too stressful for me too.
 

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I took my child to the playground the other day, he is 24 months old. If other children had brought lots of their own toys there, I don't think he would have had fun either. But it was a LOT of children there, and none of them had their own toys, just their own little drinks and so forth. I find that my monkey is much better at taking turns (on something that's of a quick sucession like the baby sliding board) than he is about sharing. Him and another little boy, also about 2, but a little older, did EXCELLENT taking turns on the slide. (as in, down the slide, up the stairs, down up, down up, Over and Over and Over and Over and Over etc...
:
) And also going through the tunnel together.

Just wondering, what's the point of children (not yours, op, the other people there) bringing their own toys to the playground? The playground is one gigantic toy, extra toys aren't needed, imho, unless it's kind of more like a park with no play structures, kwim?


But then again, I'm still kind of new at this, so what do i know?


But yeah, if there had been a lot of extra toys around (that weren't ds's) to play with, he would not have had fun either, I can totally understand what you mean.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by gabysmom617 View Post

Just wondering, what's the point of children (not yours, op, the other people there) bringing their own toys to the playground? The playground is one gigantic toy, extra toys aren't needed, imho, unless it's kind of more like a park with no play structures, kwim?

nak
i think it's because there is sand, everyone brings sand toys.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by gabysmom617 View Post
Just wondering, what's the point of children (not yours, op, the other people there) bringing their own toys to the playground? The playground is one gigantic toy, extra toys aren't needed, imho, unless it's kind of more like a park with no play structures, kwim?
We bring buckets/shovels/etc. because we don't have a sandbox at home and DS likes to dig in the sand.
 

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I don't do the park either and my kids are much older. I simply can't handle the stresses of taking them to the park with other children around. It's a me thing. My children have not suffered any social ill effects either.

I haven't been to the park since my first was 2 yrs old until just a few weeks ago. It was not so horrible. I found earlier in the morning is less crowded! I would have though parents would be out earlier, but I guess I know the secret. It was a little after 9am and like no one was there!

I took my ds1 to the park and we were harassed by teens using fowl language that was it, I never went back by myself. I was not going to subject myself and my children to that sort of environment. IT was in the afternoon though, so I think early AM is better b/c most teens I know are not early risers and if they are they are not the type to use fowl language around young children with total disrespect for others.
 

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At that age, I think its fine to skip things that are that painful!

I went through a period of time where I fought Ds#2 about going to the library story hour, and then it was hellish the whole time. I finally just stopped going. I felt guilty because I thought it should have been a valuable educational experience, but you know -- it just was not worth it! And he is fine now. He reads. He can sit still and listen in school. I never think about story time anymore -- no scars!
 
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