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· Premium Member
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Thank you for coming here and asking for advice about this situation.
Speaking from experience I will tell you that when I went back to work 8 weeks after my son died at 9 months, I did not want people talking to me about it. I spoke about it with the people that I wanted to talk to, and I wanted to NOT discuss it with the people I didn't. Just because pregnancy is so visible and we usually talk with it openly, grief is not the same. You cannot grieve with just anyone. If she is back at work, it is probably the only time of the day she can put her grief down or away for a little while.
The problem is that everyone who's child hasn't died is so broken up that they feel the need to talk to us about it, even if it's not what we need at that time. They want to tell us where they were when they found out and what they were thinking and that's probably cathartic for them, but not necessarily for us.

Think about what it is you will get from mentioning her daughter's loss to her. Is it enough that you created that beautiful memento for her? Could you give it to her in a couple of months or a year, maybe if she brings up her daughter to you?

This is just my own personal experience, so I hope you can take something from it. I believe that this woman and her daughter are benefitting from your care and compassion, even if you don't ever mention a thing to her out loud.

I guess the answer to your question, for me, would be to respect her wishes and don't mention it or send anything to her. Good luck with your decision.
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