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DB, I know I'm late on this but I've been away. My family doctor lost a baby boy a number of years ago. She ended up giving up her practice because she felt she couldn't get away from the people with well meaning wishes.
I think you will find that not one of us here hasn't been told something by somebody who meant well that hurt us deeply. I think having her nurse tell people she doesn't want anything mentioned is her way of ensuring that none of her clients say anything hurtfull while attempting to be comforting.
I do agree with Carrie, a card saying you are thinking of her, but not offering her any advice would still be appropriate. I found for myself that when clients said something to me directly, if it was appropriate, I felt I would cry, which shook my professional confidence (I don't have a job where emotions are terribly "encouraged"--unless it's your dog that died) but if the client said something well meaning but hurtfull, I would feel angry and then I knew I was not professional. Just thinking that this may be where your doc is coming from.
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