[DuracelBunny]

First of all, ny heart goes out to each and every one of you strong women who have lost your babies. I myself have not, so I can't even beign to imagine the pain you are dealing with.

The reason I sought out this board is that my children's pediatrician recently lost her baby girl. She was born at 26 weeks and passed away 12 days later. This was back in April. When we went in for our well baby check (my daughter was born just a month before, so I wasn't even sure if I should bring her in), the nurse informed us that our doctor did not want anything mentioned. Out of respect for her wishes, I didn't bring it up. But I soooo wanted to reach out to her. Anyway, this was a couple of months ago. I think of her and her daughter often, and I still want to reach out to her, so I wanted to ask those of you that have gone through similar situations what would be an appropriate thing to do. I cross stitched a birth record for her precious baby, but my husband says he's not sure how that would go over. I wanted to do something to honor her baby, but I do not want to offend her in any way or make her feel worse (not that that's possible). Now, I do not know her outside of the doctor/patient relationship (she is also my 22 month old son's pediatrician, so I've known her in that capacity for about 2 years). I just feel like by not saying anything (even though that's what she requested), I'm not letting her know that her daughter is thought of fondly by people that she didn't even know cared. I do care, very much. What can I do to show her that?

Thanks in advance for any advice/suggestions.

 

[DuracelBunny]

Thank you for your responses. That is exactly why I didn't give her the birth record before, I didn't want her to have to feel like she had to thank me or even mention it if she didn't want to. I had toyed with the idea of adding in my note that she didn't have to say anything to me about it if she didn't want to, but I don't want to make her uncomfortable. I completely understand what you are saying about it being more cathartic for me, not her - and that is the exact opposite of my goal. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for her to return to work with children and babies everywhere. The last thing I would want to do is make it even more difficult for her. I think you are all right, I should just continue to respect her wishes and not mention anything. Thank you all for your help.