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I have been having similar problems with my 12 month old ds who is teething right now. I finally pulled out the big guns and bought some Orajel and gave him that as well as a dose of ibuprofen. He fell asleep the moment it kicked in. When he is crabby and uncomfortable he will often relax if I take his clothes off and my shirt off and sling him in the ring sling and pace around the house. When absolutely nothing else helps with his pain, though, I have no problem giving him relief through pain meds and numbing cream.
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