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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
for being such a worrier. I feel like I am constantly here asking "what does this mean", "what does that mean", worried about this, worried about that... but I do have a question. How do you all keep from worrying about EVERYTHING?<br><br>
I have been dry-heaving today. My doctor said it is from all my coughing (this is day 11 of my cough/cold). Then my side hurt. Then I was doing my kick counts and 10 kicks took 2 minutes more today than yesterday. Then I was really thirsty. Then I worried about if I was leaking amniotic fluid. Now it is that I am measuring 5 weeks larger than I am. What if this, what if that... am I worrying for nothing, yadda yadda. And what if I fail the GTT and the doctor doesn't call me? I AM BEING RIDICULOUS.<br><br>
I just want to know: are you all concerned about every little thing? I think I call the doctor on call about twice a month with random little things... I am just so afraid I am going to NOT call when I should. help!
 

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i worry about everything too<br><br>
i am winded, should i be. Does it mean i won't have the stamina to go though labor if i can't climb stairs with my tot?<br><br>
I am tired, am i too tired, does what i did today = how tired i am?<br><br>
I have to pee all the time, is it really the smashed bladder? am i drinking as much as i am peeing?<br><br>
and the list goes on -- that was just this morning before breaskfast.<br><br>
now my thing is -- what if i start to leak my "water" how will i know??? I mean a leak niot a gush. Will I think " oh it is few drops of pee" or " oh my panities are damp from CM"? pr will i know????<br><br>
I can't say much -- i think it is -- to some expent -- perfectly normal and just my personality (I am a constant "what if" kind of person).<br><br>
Right or wrong -- you are not alone<br><br>
A
 

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I worry about everything too. EVERYTHING! It's really draining.<br><br>
My biggest worry if the amniotic fluid. I keep thinking that I am leaking. So I took some nitrazine tape from work so I can check if I am leaking amniotic fluid.
 

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Here's what helped me stop feeling like a dork for worrying all the time... when I was 7 weeks pregnant with Dylan I became suddenly convinced that SOMETHING WAS WRONG. There was absolutely no reason to think that -- no spotting, bleeding, cramping, nothing. I called the midwives (I hadn't even had a first appt yet) in tears and they very kindly fit me in for an ultrasound, since there was no other way to ascertain what was going on. And of course, all was well. I felt like a complete hysterical moron for having this freak out over nothing, but the midwife said very firmly, "It's normal to worry. This is the person you will love more than anyone else in the world and will care for for the next 18 years."<br><br>
I worry less with this pregnancy than the last, but I've found that worry is a constant parenting past time. I thought it would end once Dylan was born, but then I worried about SIDs. I thought that would be done with by the time he hit 12 mo., but then I started worrying about autism. Now I worry about leukemia. If he sleeps later than normal in the AM, I start wringing my hands and fretting, certain that he has stopped breathing in the middle of the night. Being a parent makes you really vulnerable to worry!<br><br>
Given a previous loss *and* the fact that you're still waiting for meds to reach their full, depression-and-anxiety-relieving potential, you have even more rationale for being a worry wart! It's no wonder!<br><br>
Do whatever it is that makes you feel better about your worries -- if it's calling your doc, call your doc. If it's coming here for reassurance, come here for reassurance. You don't need to apologize.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I think my big problem was that last time, everything was "normal". Every litlte thing I worried about, someone would tell me that was normal. I thought my belly was too small and the midwife told me everyone was different and I was fine. I had some bleeding at 26 weeks and the midwife told me everything was fine and I was overreacting. I was not feeling much movement but everyone told me they move less later on in the pregnancy because there is less room. EVERYTHING was justified. I didn't even *know* what was normal because he was my first. At the end, I was concerned because I felt like something was wrong but my midwife had made me afraid to call... so I didn't. I thought I was overreacting. I wasn't.<br><br>
ugh. I just feel like once I am through this pregnancy and the baby is in my arms, there will be something else to worry about, as Curlita said. I guess it is true what they say- mothers worry!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> s, mama. I think after what you've been through, it's completely normal.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
And Curlita, I think you are right, once my zoloft starts kicking in (when will that be?) hopefully I will relax a little...
 

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I am a natural worrier and have anxiety. My mother always says not to borrow trouble and that just ticks me off. The way my husband handles it also usually ticks me off. He won't talk about some things because he says it all will "just work out" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
Although yesterday I don't think the MW really thought I needed bloodwork, but my husband told her while I was in the bathroom that it didn't matter what THEY thought because I thought something was wrong so they should listen to me and just do what I need to have done to either find a problem or rule out the problem.<br><br>
I think he sensed that she wasn't really listening to me and talking circles around me. People just assume you don't know what you're talking about if you haven't read midwifery textbooks or gone to medical school.<br><br>
Anywhoo, you're justified in worrying. There really is NOTHING that's going to help that I can see, except a healthy baby after a successful birth. You've been to the other side and how do you come back from that?<br><br>
does your insurance cover counseling? You might want to look into that, and maybe find a group of people who have been there, you know?
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Jeez... I feel like I should go back and edit because I don't want to make anyone else worry about their own stuff... I need a sedative!
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">My mother always says not to borrow trouble and that just ticks me off. The way my husband handles it also usually ticks me off. He won't talk about some things because he says it all will "just work out"</td>
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are you my sister? are you married to my DH too?<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Although yesterday I don't think the MW really thought I needed bloodwork, but my husband told her while I was in the bathroom that it didn't matter what THEY thought because I thought something was wrong so they should listen to me and just do what I need to have done to either find a problem or rule out the problem.</td>
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YEAH DH -- <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="heartbeat"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/jumpers.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="jumpers">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="heartbeat"><br><br>
I am a BIG believer in -- if it won't hurt, and might help -- go for it. A blood draw is not dangerous to you ro the baby -- and it will help -- either tell you what is wrong, or that ther eis nothign wrong.<br><br>
What about a support group for pregancy after loss -- unluess that would just make you borrow the worries of everyone else <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
But we are here for you<br><br>
Aimee
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Curlita</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9060806"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Given a previous loss *and* the fact that you're still waiting for meds to reach their full, depression-and-anxiety-relieving potential, you have even more rationale for being a worry wart! It's no wonder!</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
I worry a lot too. Last night I was having contractions again and I was terrified that my water was going to break. (It broke early last time.) I have to keep reminding myself that "Worry is the work of pregnancy." That's in the Birthing from Within book. So it's totally normal.<br><br>
I had an u/s doctor who told me that he never has to worry bc all the moms worry enough for everyone. I thought that was kinda funny!
 

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never apologize for posting your thoughts/ feelings here... no problems... worry is natural but (unfortunately) draining.. I do my best to repeat affirmations and mantras as well as listening to my gut and insisitng on checks if I don't feel "right " about something..<br><br>
I did not worry too much with my 1st two pgcy's but this one I am struggling with worry.. current fav is the whole breech, C-sec issue... I have to go thru mental gyrations daily to keep it in check.. so tough<br><br>
many hugs for all of us worry-wart mommies!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>maisiedotes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9060943"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Jeez... I feel like I should go back and edit because I don't want to make anyone else worry about their own stuff... I need a sedative!</div>
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Nahhh, just listen to the Ramones and laugh. All their songs about wanting to be sedated and psychotherapy will cure anything that ails <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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((((Hugs)))))<br><br>
You have reasons to worry, no one things less of you for it. BUT for me sometimes I have to choose to not worry, to relax. I try and remember that stress is bad for baby too. Some things are out of my hands and control and I have to accept that. I worry and complain far more then I would like, but I am working on it, just like you, just alike most of us. Your an amazing mama. Call those Drs when ever you feel you need to, don't think about other peoples judgements, thats really a waist of time!
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>maisiedotes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9060905"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">And Curlita, I think you are right, once my zoloft starts kicking in (when will that be?) hopefully I will relax a little...</div>
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"They" (you know, that mysterious entity) say that it takes 2-6 weeks to feel the full effect. I usually feel a little perkier within a few days of a dosage increase, but it takes some of my symptoms a full 4 weeks to abate (the panic attacks are the last to go). What has it been, a week? Are you on the 50 mg dose yet, or still on the introductory 25 mg? Give it at least 2 weeks and you should be starting to feel better, I would think.<br><br>
Keeping in mind that I am NOT a psych med specialist... I just play one on-line.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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I worried a lot in my first pregnancy, and I thought that once baby was here it would stop. But it didn't. I got up to check on her countless times at night, just to make sure she was still breathing. I was convinced she would be struck with SIDS. I worried until she made it past 6 months and then it started to ease up a bit. With my second pregnancy and this one, well, as much as I hate to admit it, I wasn't completely ready for either, so miscarriage was not a totally terrible thought to me. But I eventually fell in love with both dd2 and this baby and would be heartbroken if anything happened. However, I've long given up worrying. There's just nothing you can do by worrying all the time. It does no good. Not that I blame you for worrying about everything though. I'm sure I would have been 10 x's worse during my second pregnancy if I had lost my first child, as you did. Oh, and at least for me, I found that cosleeping greatly eased my worry of SIDS, both because studies have shown it to reduce the rate of SIDS, and because when I woke in a panic, it only took a split second to look at her or put a hand on her chest and know that she was okay.<br><br>
Anyway, all that to say, that you are completely normal, especially given what you have been through. You have every right to worry, but try to let the little things go. You'll just stress yourself out more than necessary. But don't let anyone make you feel crazy for worrying about something that makes you feel uneasy, and don't be afraid to call the midwife if you need to. Do you have a doppler? It might set your mind at ease if you had a doppler you could use when you aren't feeling her move as much.
 

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I also think that worry can be a great tool to get in touch with our intuition. Honestly, IMO, WE should be the ones to assuage our worry...not someone else. We can choose to accept other's help with this, of course.<br><br>
It's always easier said than done, right? But, I'm trying to both be gentle with myself and hone my intuition. Is something bothering me? Yes? Okay...now, what should I do about it? Then I wait for the wisdom of my inner voice/Higher Power, whatever.<br><br>
Do I need the guidance or expertise of someone else? Yes? Okay, now, go call right now and handle it... If not, then what will soothe and calm me? Do I need to connect with my baby, chat with a friend...have a cup of tea...take a warm bath...be reassured that I am loved? What do I need in this moment?<br><br>
I believe in the power of intuition...but, I think we are very disconnected from it in our culture...and the closest we are often encouraged to get is through the act of worry...<br><br>
Honoring our worries in a productive way can help us to become more centered, connected and present.<br><br>
As for apologizing...Mama, we're here to support one another and share experiences. Your journey is just as important and valuable as anyone else's.<br>
I'm glad that you're here and glad that you post so openly about your joys and concerns!
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>maisiedotes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9060866"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think my big problem was that last time, everything was "normal". Every litlte thing I worried about, someone would tell me that was normal. I thought my belly was too small and the midwife told me everyone was different and I was fine. I had some bleeding at 26 weeks and the midwife told me everything was fine and I was overreacting. I was not feeling much movement but everyone told me they move less later on in the pregnancy because there is less room. EVERYTHING was justified. I didn't even *know* what was normal because he was my first. At the end, I was concerned because I felt like something was wrong but my midwife had made me afraid to call... so I didn't. I thought I was overreacting. I wasn't.<br><br>
ugh. I just feel like once I am through this pregnancy and the baby is in my arms, there will be something else to worry about, as Curlita said. I guess it is true what they say- mothers worry!</div>
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I think this makes a LOT of sense. I was not listened to during my first pregnancy, told everything was ok, when that mommy instinct KNEW it was not. It made me a lot more worried the second time around. And the third and the fourth too, though I have managed to mostly work out what requires a call to the doctor and what's just normal mommy worrying.
 

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First of all, you do NOT need to apologize for worrying. All of us worry, and you of all people have every right to worry after everything you've been through.<br><br>
Second, this forum is supposed to be a safe place where we can all be really honest and vulnerable. We are here to support each other in the best and worst of times, even when we are dealing with things that we can't say to people IRL. We all need a voice of reason, a shoulder to cry on, or just general support to get through our pregnancies, and you should never have to apologize here for that! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><br>
Thank you all so much. I have started my kick counts and I do have a doppler for when there seems to be a lack of movement for a few hours. It helps just to have it around- I was using it more frequently but now only about once a week, since I am feeling alot of movement. I am feeling better. I appreciate everyone's support and kindness. I am sure this time the baby will be fine. It also helps that I am at either an U/S or the OB every week or two. At least they are keeping a watchful eye...<br>
thanks again.<br>
xoxoxoxo
 
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