I am excited and have no one to share it with so I figured you all would get it. My sister is in the process, TODAY, of picking up her new adopted son. They will be home tonight! We live in Eastern Ontario and they are adopting a 2 year old boy from Southwestern Ontario through CAS. My sister has one biological daughter who is autistic. She is 6.5 and my sister hasn't been able to have any more children due to complications from my neice's birth. They have been in the adoption process for almost 2 years and it is finally coming to an end. Their new son is autistic as well (what they wanted) but both children are very high functioning (my neice on Saturday recited all the books of the Bible for me!). So tomorrow we will meet our new nephew. I don't really know what is appropriate but we bought gifts. W (new nephew) loves music and lights so we bought him a drum that also plays music and a toy beehive that you have to put balls in and take out and it also plays music. We bought my neice a big sister present, an art easel and supplies set (she loves to draw). We figure it will help keep her busy while she gets used to sharing Mommy. We bought my sister and BIL a scrapbooking book and photo album for recording their son's journey into their family. Do you think that's okay? Thanks for letting me share my excitement with you!
I have to post here!
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You are going to be your sisters ROCK!!!!!!!! and I am always so happy when I know that a family who has decided to adopt a child in this way has the support of their family behind them.....
You are right this kind of adoption is a difficult one to share. Most outsiders seem to think the parents have done this for some Knoble reason and forget that we usually adopt for the same reasons anyone else adds to their families....We want to parent...we choose children who have had a very rough start because we know we can be great parents for the child and NOT because we want the world to see us as some kind of saints!
Anyway--Cangratualtions and remember the next few months your sister might need you ear and your support because it does take some time to adjust and there are few people who "GET IT"
You will help your siste the most by offereing your ear....and you can really help by remembering to give her some bubble bath, bring over some homecooked dinner once in awhile and offer to babysit the older daughter every now and then.
You sister has likely been trained in Transistioning and attachment with an older adopted child...Your family might not understand some of the VERY basic things that parents of newly placed children need to be concerned with. You sister needs to be the ONLY woman who takes care of the new child...the only one to hold him....feed him or kiss his boo-boos and You can help her VERY much by keeping Grandmas, and other loving people at arms lenght for some time.... No matter how hard it is the family can really aide in the attachment process if they can just keep their hands off the child for a little while....let him learn who his mommy is before you become too much of a hands on aunt.... and if you see others grabbing this new family member or helping him in ways that seem completely normal...Help you sister be the MOM and try to help the other family members understand that once this little guy knows who mommy is there will be pleanty of runny noses to whipe!
It is the understanding and support of the extended family that can make all the difference with the attachment of a new, slightly older child.
You are right this kind of adoption is a difficult one to share. Most outsiders seem to think the parents have done this for some Knoble reason and forget that we usually adopt for the same reasons anyone else adds to their families....We want to parent...we choose children who have had a very rough start because we know we can be great parents for the child and NOT because we want the world to see us as some kind of saints!
Anyway--Cangratualtions and remember the next few months your sister might need you ear and your support because it does take some time to adjust and there are few people who "GET IT"
You will help your siste the most by offereing your ear....and you can really help by remembering to give her some bubble bath, bring over some homecooked dinner once in awhile and offer to babysit the older daughter every now and then.
You sister has likely been trained in Transistioning and attachment with an older adopted child...Your family might not understand some of the VERY basic things that parents of newly placed children need to be concerned with. You sister needs to be the ONLY woman who takes care of the new child...the only one to hold him....feed him or kiss his boo-boos and You can help her VERY much by keeping Grandmas, and other loving people at arms lenght for some time.... No matter how hard it is the family can really aide in the attachment process if they can just keep their hands off the child for a little while....let him learn who his mommy is before you become too much of a hands on aunt.... and if you see others grabbing this new family member or helping him in ways that seem completely normal...Help you sister be the MOM and try to help the other family members understand that once this little guy knows who mommy is there will be pleanty of runny noses to whipe!
It is the understanding and support of the extended family that can make all the difference with the attachment of a new, slightly older child.
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Congratulations!!!! Your whole family sonds awesome! What a great new addition to look forward to!
Cheers!
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