I have to wean her ...

, I feel in the same boat.

I want to CLW so badly but it is getting so tough

We have made some prgress but it is still 75% of the time Greg is awake we wants boob, and I know he doesnt want it for hunger reasons 50% of the time.
He doesnt even do it for comfort, it's b/c he is bored

I have played with him, i have hugged hom, Ihave fed him, everything

He still wants it all the time
I cant get anything done
95% of the time i am on here is b/c I am boobing him and he wants this chair
No other chair in the house will do

I think Ruthla said it best....



I will be weaning my 2yo this summer...(He'll be 2 in June)...

You can do it! And it sounds like you'll both feel better for it....

s

Sarah

mama. it's very hard to go back and forth between living up to your parenting ideals and living in the present and dealing with what is actually happening. i should know. i have been there.
i also had (still have some days) a somewhat toxic breastfeeding relationship with my dd who is 19 months old. i started up a thread called "resentful of breastfeeding" as i was thinking of weaning her. my daughter is very spirited so i know how hard it is to deal with a highly emotional child that is addicted to your breasts.

my decision in the end was not to wean her (and alot of that had to do with age though). i figured she was putting up such a fight because she still needed that comfort. and nursing doesn't have to be all or nothing. i did put some limits. i 90% nightweaned her and refused to fund the every 2 minute nursing habit - instead i agreed to once every hour or hour and a half.
if we had no limits, she would either be weaned or i would be in the nut house. i felt like dd had a relationship with my boobs and not with me, and it caused great resentment towards her.
my suggestion (ONLY if you feel you can handle this) would be to gently night wean her first and leave the day time feeding as normal. sleep can really change everything. you might find that after a solid block of sleep (like 7-8 hours) your dd's constant nursing may not bother you as much. if it doesn't help the situation, then i would gently and totally wean her.
please don't feel bad if you go down the mama led weaning path. i know the ideal is CLW, but you must remind yourself that you've given your little girl two and a half years of nursing comfort and nourishment. that's such an incredible gift. i think you ought to be proud of that accomplishment.
then smile and put that part of your relationship aside, and focus on all the other ways you are a loving parent to your child.

hugs again to you mama. i know i will be here to support you in which ever path you take.

"Setting limits" only works to a point with highly spirited kids. In our case, our dd is a black and white girl. When she learns something, it is not gradual, it is sudden and complete. This is how she potty learned, and quite young too. She is so intense.

For us, I still kind of considered it child-led weaning, b/c she was "telling me" by her crankiness and tantrums and night-waking and inability to negotiate, that bfing within limits was stressful, not soothing.

So, we turned off the milk switch. It was on, then it was off. She forgot all about it in 3 days and as I said, showed she was ready by sleeping through the night, remaining healthy and attached to me in other ways.

This is how we differentiate between a habit and a need. A need is hard or impossible to break, and causes distress and regression when not met. A habit is broken easily and the child remains secure.

I believe the OP's dd, by her unacceptable behavior, is also saying bfing is causing her stress, not comfort. She sounds ready to move on.