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So...<br>
I heard our upstairs neighbor crying this morning. I knew it would eventually happen, that I would hear that little baby's cries. In fact, he/she is crying right now. *sigh*<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"><br><br>
I can't help but get teary eyed because I knew we were pregnant around the same time and had very close due dates. Mine would have been May 9th, I would have been in my 38th week. I thought I was doing better, but now this..<br><br>
I guess I just need to vent to people I know who are/were in similar shoes as mine. We had her January 2, and I feel like it becomes a moot point when I talk about it with other people. My DH and I talk a lot about it, but still... I feel like I'm starting to wear him down, too. He never says it or does anything to show it, but I just feel like such a downer sometimes.<br><br>
I've been really good about it lately. I really have, but today, just another set back. I've been trying so hard to get my career up and running so we can be better prepared for our next little one to come into this world, but sometimes its just so hard to focus on career when I want so much to be home with the baby girl we lost. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Ok, well, I just needed to vent. I better be off to work soon. Thanks for listening (reading), ladies.
 

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I know how you feel in some ways. When I'm out and hear a little cry from the baby carrier I feel the world stop and for a second I can't help but think <i>That should be me</i> <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I also know how it feels when you've run out of people to talk to. I feel like I'm not done grieving. I still have bad days and to other people it's like I shouldn't still be going throught that. Dh tries to be supportive but I know he feels like he's run out of things to say and he usually just sits there and tries to support me in silence. It hurts to feel like you're the only one left who still feels the loss. It can be so lonely sometimes, I just wanted you to know that I know what you mean and that I feel some of the very same things. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Thanks.<br>
Yeah, today was a rough one, but I somehow pulled myself together and function.<br><br>
Thanks for the support. It is hard feeling like all your support has been exhausted. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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All this grief and anguish is still new to me... we lost our beautiful son five days after birth on April 10th. I've already noticed the same things: there are days that feel ok, then *WHAM* something triggers this crippling rush of emotion.<br><br>
I'm sorry it's so close to home, literally... that has to be so hard for you. Congrats on making it thru the day!
 

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Grief tends to come in often unpredictable waves, in my experience. Sometimes I can anticipate it (my first due date is coming up next weekend, and I know it will be rough), and other times it smacks me in the face.<br><br>
Hang in there. It's a difficult thing IRL to find support. I am so grateful for this board.
 

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I understand.<br><br>
My SIL and I shared a due date. She is just starting to show and I am not coping well. I haven't even spoken to her since I miscarried a few weeks ago, I can't stand to be around her knowing that she is exactly as pregnant as I should be. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> so sorry<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I'm sorry hun....it IS hard! I held two newborns today and it just made my heart ache. It's like I can't look at a newborn without thinking of my baby in the same thought. HUGS!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
I too felt like I was wearing my DH down, then I found this board. He has said multiple times how grateful he is that I found people who understand.<br><br>
In my humble experience, the torture of being around babies and pregnant women has lessened with time. It won't always be this bad.<br><br>
Hang in there.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
I can't thank you ladies enough for all your kind words and understanding. Really, I'm not sure how I would have been without this website, it has been one of my main sources of comfort and strength.<br><br>
I still occasionally hear the baby crying, and of course will continue to, but I've started to get used to it. So, in a way, it is less painful, or is it because I'm feelin "numb"? In anycase, sometimes I feel like its better to be numb than feel horrible all the time because at least I can function throughout the day.<br><br>
My sincere condolences for all your sweet angels. I like to think that all our little souls know each other and are connected through all of our compassion for each other.<br><br>
Thanks everyone<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug">
 

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I'm sorry love, I know how you feel. I am surrounded by babies now. In fact my BF's water broke last night! Today would have been my due date, no one has mentioned it, though my littlest one asked me this morning where my baby is, a question she askes often, and I don't mind. My thoughts are with you today, lots of hugs and support!
 

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Thanks samuraimom. ..<br>
I can totally relate (on some level anyways). My due date is coming up soon too (Tues., May 9). I don't even know what I'd want to hear from anyone, although I know I'd want some kind of support, right?<br>
I hope your BF's baby is well. Take care of yourself and your little one's. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 
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