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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have worked since I was 14, well before that if you count babysitting<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">. I worked full time while I put myself through college and grad school (like many of you<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">). I have had some very demanding and stressful jobs, very stressful. Two years before ds was born I had an almost fatal accident that took me out of commission until about the time ds was conceived. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent"> I went back to work part time when I was about 6 months pregnant and then worked part time from home until ds was about 18 months old, at which time I worked very flexible hours in pretty low stress positions. Max 35 hour work weeks, never any after hours work, no weekend work, could work from home, not a lot of stress. I was able to be home with ds if he was sick, go to his preschool and participate, be off when he was, etc.<br><br>
Three months ago I took a position with an organization that I respect a lot, its a tiny nonprofit and I am the Executive Director. Very small, young, dedicated staff, 3 people, they are great employees, hard workers. The position I am in is demanding, and since I am the ED I could structure my time so that I worked from home part of the time (the commute sucks) but I don't feel like it is fair to my staff. As it is I leave about an hour before they do (I come in earlier usually) but even leaving an hour before they do isn't enough for me. I am burnt out. I feel like I am constantly going and that I don't get nearly enough time with ds. I am stressed all the time, I feel like I am doing nothing well. I wasn't like this when things were more in balance. Its weird that the 5 hours 35 vs 40 hours makes such a huge difference but it is.<br><br>
This is not how I want our lives to be, its not worth it to me. I don't know if its that I can't handle stress anymore because of my accident (one of my injuries was a brain injury), or if its just too much with ds, but I know I can't keep up like this, its affecting my health. I don't know what to do. I feel like I am letting the staff down if I leave, but as it is I feel like I am going to be letting them down if I stay if things continue. I know I can find something more suitable, even some consulting work. Or should I talk to the Board (I report to them) about options? I feel like I'm at the end of my rope here.
 

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Maybe you could ask for a performance review. It could be perfectionist tendencies or depression causing your discomfort rather than not completing your work in an acceptable manner. Being in charge does come with it's own stresses.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I don't actually think I am doing a bad job, I just feel so stressed and depressed that it is taking so much time away from the rest of my life. Its not what I bargained for...
 

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See if you can find time to read "The Four Hour Workweek." It's not the hours you put in - it's what you do with them (to a point). I'm betting there's some things you could delegate more effectively, and still be pulling your weight as a leader. Hugs!
 
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