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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I was speaking to a 'mainstream' friend's DH a month or so ago, and he was talking about how proud he was that his girls (3 and 5) were such good eaters. One of the many comments he made was, 'They eat at least 3 yogurts a day, and that is very good for them. They also enjoy wheat bread a lot.' Ok, by wheat bread, he means industrial air bread, and by yogurt, he means GoGurt. I wanted to laugh in his face, but my friend, his wife, was standing there.<br><br>
Sometimes, you don't know whether to laugh, shake your head, walk away, or give them a piece of real information they can actually use, instead of trusting the food marketers...
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> It is sad how uninformed people are about nutrition.<br><br>
Do you think you will end up saying anything?
 

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Well, that's a lot better than wonder bread and ice cream.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>4evermom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7281182"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Well, that's a lot better than wonder bread and ice cream.</div>
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To be honest, I am not so sure there is a big difference. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>4evermom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7281182"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Well, that's a lot better than wonder bread and ice cream.</div>
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Probably not, actually.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>firefaery</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7281433"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">To be honest, I am not so sure there is a big difference. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:</div>
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Me either.
 

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If I found out my friend was snickering at how I fed my children, my feelings would be extremely hurt.<br><br>
Could you possibly pass on a book about childhood nutrition with a casual, "Hey, I really like this book and thought you might enjoy it? Dr Sears Nutrition book is good and approachable.
 

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I understand what you are saying, but the vast majority of people do not want to hear that what their doc's recommend is propaganga or that the government has been lying to them. Also, I think this is less about a friend's ignorance than it is about the horrible misinformation that is peddled as fact. Noone really knows what real food is anymore.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Empress</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7281650"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">If I found out my friend was snickering at how I fed my children, my feelings would be extremely hurt.<br><br>
Could you possibly pass on a book about childhood nutrition with a casual, "Hey, I really like this book and thought you might enjoy it? Dr Sears Nutrition book is good and approachable.</div>
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well, that is a very fine line to cross... I am part of a wonderful very mainstream group of 4 other moms (all connected thru bfing), we all get a long, our kids love each other, but I am way out there (homebirth, no vax, very selective meds, cloth diapers, no paper towels, not to mention the food my family eats) compared to them. i just live by example. and some bring their own food for their kids when they come over for playgroup because their kids don't like my food.<br><br>
and I am sure they have all snickered at how I feed my family too, so it goes both ways. but it doesn't hurt my feelings at all. i have actually had many occasions where i've held back a chuckle, but the gogurt comment was especially funny because there was such an attitude of pride behind it.<br><br>
I actually forwarded them all the link to Pollan's 'Unhappy Meals' last week, and only one of them responded or mentioned it. ignorance is bliss. but, i love them all, and they know i have definite opinions about what is good food and what isn't, and am willing to openly discuss any aspect with them if they ask the question. not that they ever do.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>firefaery</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7282297"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Noone really knows what real food is anymore.</div>
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So true. Once I told a friend that I never gave my kids juice and she said, "Well then how do they get vitamin c?" It's sad.
 

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Considering that the parents probably didn't know yogurt was a food when they were kids, or ever ate brown bread, they are giving their kids a boost in the right direction no matter how far from ideal it is. And they even make other people feel better about their own diets (much like my messy house makes others feel better about their own clutter, or so I rationalize <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> )
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
One friend was cleaning out her pantry and ran across some of those toddler gerber fruity cereal snacky thingies, I have no idea what they are called. i am prego so she immediately thought of me, which was very nice of her. she brought them over to playgroup a few weeks ago, and asked if i wanted them. i just kinda laughed and said 'no, thanks'. she says 'what was i thinking? i'll give them to such and such, she'll give them to her kids, don't you think?' i said i was sure of it. she then asked why i wouldn't feed them to my kids, so i grabbed a container, pointed to the ingredients list, and said 'this isn't even food, this is processed junk.' she nodded her head in understanding and that was it. but, i guarantee she would buy them again in a heartbeat because they are 'fortified' and have 'natural fruit flavors'. ugh. again, ignorance is bliss. how can people be so gullible?
 

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You know what though? Hasn't learning about nutrition and "real food" been a journey for all of us? I think about what I used to think was healthy 10 years ago, or even 5 years ago, and I chuckle. But back then, I was doing my best to be informed and to be healthy. Today I know more, so I do differently. I'm *still* learning and growing! My latest step has been to be more conscious of eating locally whenever I can. I started learning about nutrition long before I had kids, but many people just don't get that interested until they have children, so the learning curve starts there for them.<br><br>
I think it's great that your friends *care* about what good food is. That means they are open to learning new things about it, and are probably moving further down the road to healthy eating day by day. By all means, share articles or books with them in a spirit of friendship and mutual growth, but not from a place of being "healthier than thou". I've done this with my sister for years. (She who used to buy "Lunchables" for her kids. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!">) Although she'll always be more mainstream than me, she's come a *looong* way in the last 5 years! I like to think I had some influence with her by example and by sharing non-judgemental information.
 

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I agree with the pp. If we criticize people they get defensive, but if we lead by example they might take the hint - or at least be interested in why we do things differently than they do.<br><br>
I like the idea of giving them a book on nutrition - or what about loaning them a copy of a book that you've highlighted? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
I think encouraging them for THINKING (beyond "what's for dinner?") about their children's healthy diet is a really big step, for some people! Maybe they've come miles just by eating wheat bread! You could compliment them on what they are doing right - that might encourage them to go more strongly in that direction!
 

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To many people, wheat bread (even if it's not 100% whole grain, versus straight white) and yogurt are healthful choices. And they're still considerably better than cookies/junk/etc, though not the *best* choices as we all know. I'm not sure how I'd approach that with my friend, other than commending their efforts. When my MIL follows me around asking (for example) why I don't buy Dannon yogurt when it 'tastes better' than Stonyfield, and I explain about live cultures, no cornsyrup and organic milk, her eyes roll back in her head and she says something like 'does it really matter that much? I've been eating this my whole life, besides, it's lowfat and has calcium. Isn't that good enough?" Well, yes, it is better than not eating the yogurt in lieu of something worse. To her I'm a food snob and she's paranoid to offer me anything should I find fault with it. Sometimes I think it's better to just keep quiet to keep the peace.<br><br>
One of my friends and fellow preschool moms went to college with me and also has a degree in Nutrition, only she finished the internship and is a practicing Registered Dietitian (I'm not). She feeds her 2 yr old sugary cereal (froot loops is his favorite) all the time, along with other prepackaged snack foods I'd consider junk. She, if anyone should know better, but her diet is as conventional as anyone else who isn't educated. I think she doesn't care about additives, sugars, corn syrup, pesticides and all the other stuff that boggles my brain. She's all about convenience and what her family *will* eat. It makes me sad. She knows better and should be setting a better example. I'd never approach her and ask her what's up with the crap she feeds her kid, YK?
 

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I totally agree with the people who suggest helping him out with better info. Clearly he does care about his children's diet, and if he's happy they're eating "healthy" now just imagine how much happier he'd be having a solid knowledge base with which to help his children -- and himself -- make good choices.<br><br>
I think of it this way ... in my family I'm kind of known as the diet and nutrition guru -- "got a question, go to Michelle." BUT, I got that way the hard way. I cared a lot about the quality of my food intake, but at the same time I knew literally nothing about what quality was. Massive amounts of white rice ("it's a grain, it's good for me"), potatoes, diet colas ("no calories!"), fruit juice ("it's fruit so it doesn't matter how much I drink"), and frozen veggie burgers ("hey, veggie ... what could be wrong with veggie ...") made up the bulk of my diet. Not surprisingly I wound up overweight and nutritionally deficient, without really understanding why. It took a lot of self-education to come away from that -- someone to take me under their wing a little bit would have been much appreciated.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>luv my 2 sweeties</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7284307"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Hasn't learning about nutrition and "real food" been a journey for all of us?</div>
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Yes, it has for me. Like you, I laugh (and sometimes cringe) at what I used to think of as healthy food. I agree that it's great that the parents in the op at least are thinking about good nutrition, but ime it's really hard to offer opinions/advice w/o people getting defensive. I generally don't comment on people's food choices unless I think they're seeking information/discussion. And any way, how are parents supposed to make good choices when the food industry is bombarding the world with bad information and garbage presented as "healthy"?
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
I find that the vast majority of parents (my friends anyway) *think* that their kids are eating healthy. but they are being seriously fooled by the 'whole grain' fruit loops, and the 'contains real fruit juice' claims on their processed foods. they do think i am a food snob (which I don't mind, I just chuckle at them), although i never really comment on their food choices unless asked. it is kinda like being a birth snob, or a vax snob, or whatever we do that is 'alternative' to what the mainstream does. either we are dumb for being fooled by the 'organic' movement (because the gov't says so) or we are rich because we can afford the better foods (M Pollan comments that we spend less than any country in the world on food, but the most on health care, hmmmm).<br><br>
a friend came over last week and offered to dry dishes while i washed (we wash every 3 days or so, so the pile was big). and she commented on how many more dishes it takes to cook food when you don't use the convenient prepackaged stuff (like she does). yup, and more time too!!!! BUT, my family is required to sit down and eat it together, so the time is worth it.<br><br>
there are ways to lead by example. i had everyone over for dinner after t-giving and made a dish w/ chard. they loved it! one of them even made it a few times after that. when their kids are over i always offer hummos and anything else i have. guacamole (green dip as we call it) is a big hit sometimes! and one of the kids liked olives, her mom had no idea. but, despite all that, i am very sure that they won't take the time to educate themselves besides asking a few questions. you're right, education takes time when making healthy choices, but most people aren't willing to put in the time. they'd rather spend their time shopping for cars or toys.
 

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The road to good nutrition has certainly been an eye opener for me. My journey did not start until I had children. It boggles my mind how many parents I know either don't care or don't know how awful corn syrup is, the benefits of whole grain bread, etc. If I do answer one of their questions most of the time I get a blank stare in return.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>luv my 2 sweeties</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7284307"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">You know what though? Hasn't learning about nutrition and "real food" been a journey for all of us? I think about what I used to think was healthy 10 years ago, or even 5 years ago, and I chuckle. But back then, I was doing my best to be informed and to be healthy. Today I know more, so I do differently. I'm *still* learning and growing! My latest step has been to be more conscious of eating locally whenever I can. I started learning about nutrition long before I had kids, but many people just don't get that interested until they have children, so the learning curve starts there for them.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/clap.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="clap"> i shake my head and get frustrated knowing i gave dd SOY formula. if someone even suggested that now i would say NO WAY! w/ ds I made a homemade raw goats milk formula w/all raw and organic ingredients. <b>you learn. stay humble and be a good example.</b> that's what i do. i don't judge my family or get on their case (they eat awful), but I lost 90 lbs and they are asking me, "what are you doing???!!!!". i still feel i have a ways to go. i still don't make everything from scratch and i want to, but don't know where the heck to begin. when you were raised in a house of all processed easy foods, the thought of making bread is overwhelming. if anyone wants to educate me further i'm all for it!<br><br>
j
 
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