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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am so freakin pissed at my dh. We just had a blowout fight about whether we are going to have a homebirth or not. Our midwife is more than willing to let us pay for it over 4 years, as long as we need to be able to pay it off, and dh is just stuck on the total amount and how we don't have that money. Now this is all only if we don't get medicaid, which we probably won't because we might make just over the max amount allowed for aid. If we get medicaid he's more than willing to do, but he just won't listen to me and kept on talking in circles to the point where I told him to shut up
which was wrong of me and I apologized, but I told him I don't think he is listening to me or understands how important it is to me to have a homebirth one way or another. I will not go to the hospital again, I told him if it comes down to it I will do a UC, and that freaked him out. I am just about to start bawling, this so sucks
: But I so tired of him not listening to me
He is just stuck on the hospital being free...
I will admit i could have handled it better but he just walked out...I feel so hopeless
 

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Oh, I'm so sorry. That sounds rough. I know how important it is to feel heard and this is very important to you. It is still early. You and your hubby have some time to figure it out together.

I'm sure it doesn't make this moment any easier though.

Hugs to you, momma.
 

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So sorry to hear about the argument!

Of course he might not see it this way, but the hospital is only "free" in terms of cash. In terms of you giving birth in the way that you want to emotionally and physically, the hospital is a costly thing! It costs a TON, just not cash!!

Hang in there!
 

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Yeah, it stinks. It really really stinks that some kinds of care are free and others aren't- but looking on the bright side, at least if you need to transfer then you aren't going to be hit with additional bills that you can't afford. So now all you need to do is to think about the midwife/ UC option some more, and see where his head goes to.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
DH came back about an hour later, and after we both apologized he said that we would figure out a way to do homebirth if we don't get medicaid. We're still a bit weird with each other but it's better. Thank you for the support.
 

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Glad to hear your update


The financial aspect of a homebirth certainly can give you pause, and I understand why partners sometimes find this a stumbling block. I know where the money is coming from but it shelves some other plans - but they are plans without a 33ish week deadline!

It is only right that both parents try and balance the entire needs of a family and sometimes that means we have different perspectives and have to negotiate about what's most important. I am so glad your problem was quickly resolved
 
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