[4 in 2005]

My daughter has social Anxiety. Her pshycologist has recomended that putting her in school versus homeschool just for the social experince.

Well to start with my daughter is very smart. Her preschool teacher recommened that since my daughter does better socially when challanged that we have her tested for 1st grade. (She reads well, writes well, and can add.) I was unsure but I thought what the heck we will see what happens. The results had me worried. She would not identify letter sounds for the tester, would not read, would not write any letters with out the tester showing her first. As a result they said her phonics skills were at risk, she needed handwriting help, etc.. I knew that this was not my daughter. I even called the school and told them. I was worried that she would not do things that she does well on this test. Things that she doubts her ablity on even though she does well on I expected her to not do for them. Things like adding.

So as soon as we got these results I started asking the Director of special populations what to do for my daughter. She suggested that I call the principal and ask for a teacher that will be comfortable with a child with her anxiety, and ask for a confrence with the teacher before the first day of school.

School starts tommorow. I have been assured over and over again that these things WOULD happen. HAHAHA what a joke. The worst part is I believed them.

They asked me if I wanted full or 1/2 day Kindergarten for my daughter. (Full day btw costs $1200.) I said I did not know that I wanted her in with the teacher that would best be able to deal with her. They put her in 1/2 day. I said that I know she does best with being challanged so the additional time while harder on her would be something she could deal with if she is challanged and with a good teacher. Well last night we found out they refused to put my daughter in full day because she got a 79 on the K assesment test. (She should had a better score but several things she just refused to do, and she was so stressed from the registration process that she got flusterd and started to give the tester her phone number when they asked for address.) So much for putting her in a class based on what teacher would be best for her. My best friend's daughter had this teacher and my best friend does not feel this teacher will be a good match for my daughter.

She was not very good with her daughter's shyness that is normal/approriate shyness. How is she going to handle a child that is so shy, it is anxiety, and will pee her pants to get out of social situations? The only thing my friend said is a positive is that this teacher does tend to listen to parents.

Then they were bragging about this reading grant they got. Well I happen to know they grants went to the schools in the state that had the LOWEST test scores in the state. Why would you be PROUD to be one of the worst schools in the entire state? I don't get that.

They were telling the parents whose kids are in 1/2 day that they will not get an education that is as good as those in full day but "OHH WELL!" Some of the parents were irrate about this, because they called parents whose children scored 75 or higher on the assesment test and told them they did not need to be in full day, and convinced them to put them in the 1/2 day class. (Kind of like they did with my DD.)

UGH, all this does NOT reassure me about sending my daughter to school there. I keep telling myself at least I am not sending her there for an education I am sending her there for social skills. I think she will do fine in 1st grade next year as long as she is not terrified of people.

 

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

This doesn't sound very promising. Are there other school options in your area? Perhaps a private school would be a better match. Before you say "we can't afford it", find out what is there and ask about financial aid. My son attends a super school that costs more than my Ivy League college did. But we pay only a fraction of the tuition. We had to ask though, because they don't advertise that they have financial aid.

I'm thinking that the smaller classes, more controlled environment, more teacher attention that is typical of private schools might be better for your child, as well as perhaps addressing her academic needs better. Not to say that there aren't public schools that can't do this, but it doesn't sound like this one is going to work with you very well.

 

[4 in 2005]

No there are not other options. We did look into the private schools. The one that would take her wanted $600 before they would let us even apply for help with the tuition. That money was not refundable if we did not get enough aid to afford it. The others when we talked to them suggested that they could not accomdate her "needs".

We are on the wait list for the Montisorri school. My hope is that she can get in there next year. I think that would be the best option but I did not learn of it until it was 2 days after the application deadline for the lottery to get in. So her name was put at the very end of the list. She was #6 on the list then and now #2. So I think her odds are good for next year.

So we just have to survive this year at this school. I almost lied about our address and used a friend's that told me I could. I sometimes wish I had. I am not happy right now at all.

They did suggest that we take her to see her classroom today. So we went. They don't know which room her teacher will have (and this was at 2 pm.) School starts tommorow and they don't even have a room for her class yet?!?

 

[4 in 2005]

Well she and I survived the drop off. She was having a good day but was still clinging enough the teacher said "Let me think you name is Charlotte."

The teacher did call and talk to my husband (he kept asking her to call back and talk to me when I got home from my daughter's pshycologist.) He was upset when I said the teacher told her that. He told me one of the things he flat out told her was "Don't talk to her until she talks to you." Which is true.

My daughter told me however "She is ok, she was my friend's teacher." So apperantly my daughter does trust this teacher already becase my best friend's daughter had this teacher last year and loved her. That helped. We also found out one little girl from her preschool is not only going to be in the school but the same class. I was not sure what class the other little girl would be in because there are 4 kindergarten classes this year.

So we survived and she was really not that bad for her today, but still noticable enough the teacher knew who she was.

 

[Terabith]

Ya know, your psychologist recommending that she attend public school to gain social skills seems like teaching a kid to swim by throwing them in the shark tank at Sea World.....

 

[PajamaMama]

I don't understand why kindergarten costs you $1200 for full day? Is this public school?

I'm glad your daughter seems to be adjusting well.

 

[4 in 2005]

Quote:

Originally Posted by PajamaMama I don't understand why kindergarten costs you $1200 for full day? Is this public school? I'm glad your daughter seems to be adjusting well.

Sorry I have been having trouble with my PC, so I had not come back...

Yeah this is public school. The state decided that the schools needed to proivde a full day option but the state does not pay for it. So school districts have chosen to pass that fee on to the parents.

BTW this is state that parents pay for "materials fees." Ranging from $35-$300 grade K-5. I have no clue how much for upper grades because that varies based on what classes your child takes.

I laugh that I pay LESS to homeschool on average. So people say "OHH but homeschooling is so expensive. Yeah so is public school here."

I went to schools in several states and never did we have to pay for public school.

OK sorry, just another vent I have about our schools here...

Jennifer

 

[Oh the Irony]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Terabith Ya know, your psychologist recommending that she attend public school to gain social skills seems like teaching a kid to swim by throwing them in the shark tank at Sea World.....

yeah, i think something like cognitive behavioral therapy, social skills classes or coaching would be much more effective. throwing her in without giving her appropriate tools is not going to help her.

an adult with a phobia about driving doesn't get a job as a truck driver unless they get some good help.

good luck. i have an anxious child as well. i've got a call out to talk to a psychlogist about ways to handle his anxiety.