[Camellia]

My ds is 5.5 and he has been up for the day since probably 8am and the baby and I got up at 10:30. There wasn't a lot to eat in the house so he had crackers for breakfast.

I have been up just over an hour and he is in his room crying and slamming the door.

This is how it went:

I was on the computer nursing the baby and I turned around and he had all the clean clothes that have been on the couch for days, under the cushions and was jumping on them. I ask him to put them back on top of the cushions. He is saying things like "I can't do it and I won't do it". I have very little patience today so I snap a few remarks and then just tell him to take his folded stack of clothes on the back of the couch to his room and stay there for a bit and play.

What does he do? He throws the stack of folded clothes and they come unfolded.

It took me so much time and energy to be able to wash and fold his clothes. So I snapped

: and he snapped. I can't remember being so angry. I know I have been angrier in my life, but I saw red. I yelled, while he sat on the floor crying in his pile of laundry. I just kept saying take your clothes to your room and stay there...over and over (quietly now not yelling) until he did it.

I know what I need to do to prevent this in the future, but right now I don't know what to do. Just typing it has helped me see clearer, but any advice would be so appreciated. He's in his room screaming and crying as I type

 

[moondiapers]

Well the simplest way to avoid it would to have not allowed the laundry to sit on the couch for day. I'm guilty of this myself, only it's my bed that gets stacked with laundry. However, I feel that if I've left something out that long I don't have much of a right to get angry when it gets messed up, having kids throw laundry on the floor or jump on it is a great natural consequence of not putting it away.

That being said, I also understand raising a family, and having a nursling etc. I try to spend quality time with children while I am doing necessary chores. I make sure to take my vitamins to help keep my energy up so that I don't get too tired to finish tasks, and I saw my dr. about my depression (depression really drains your energy) and got on medication for it. All of these things have helped my energy level and evened out my moods.

I'm not saying that these are the right solutions for you, but they are what jumped out at me when I read your post, because you sounded so much like me a while ago.

-Heather

 

[HoneymoonBaby]

Go tell him that when he's ready to talk about it, you'll be waiting for him. Let him cry as long as he needs to, and when he comes out, apologize for blowing up, then explain why it hurt you when he messed up his clothes after you asked him not to.

He's old enough to understand. Things like this will happen. You just have to make things right as best you can and move on.

You didn't make a mess of the situation. You're a good mommy.

 

[Camellia]

Thanks for your replys. He started crying out "Nobody cares about me!" over and over, so after I took some deep breaths I went in there. I just hugged him for awhile and told him that I care about him very much. He said he knows I do and hugged me back. I apologized for snapping and told him how hard I worked to be able to get the clothes as close to clean and folded as I had.

He said "I can fold my own clothes" with a big grin! He is such an amazing kid! So he will be my laundry helper from now on!

 

[Rainbow]

crackers for breakfast is really hard on little bodies- especially if they weren't whole wheat. The refined stuff is pretty empty and it is enough to spike his sugar up, but it will quickly crash back down. I've really found the best start for a day is some good protein- oatmeal is our fave b/c one pot lasts all week for cheap. I honestly think if you had both had a good breakfast it would have been easier for you both to handle. Nutrition plays such a huge role in out behaviour- all of us.

As for the actual event I think the other posters have spoken wisely

Blow ups happen, forgive yourself.

 

[allgirls]

Awesome...he does sound like an incredible kid...bet he will be a great laundry folder...

 

[WithHannahsHeart]

I was just going to say that he was maybe feeling off kilter from not having a solid breakfast. Can you leave cut up cheese, fruit, yogurt, etc on a low shelf in the fridge for him to get when you cannot be up as early as he is? Is it possible for him to have a healthy cereal and bowl where he could reach it, and a small cup of milk available for him to pour on it (not the whole gallon, of course

). It seems he likes having chores to do, and maybe that would both make sure he got a good meal and make him feel like a big boy.

 

[captain optimism]

You said there isn't a lot to eat in the house, and that concerned me. I hope this won't embarass you: Do you have enough money in the budget to buy food, or are you just too short of time to go shopping, with the new baby? Are you hooked up with WIC, or do you have friends who can pick up a few items for you? Not only does a good breakfast help your son be his best, but it's also extremely important that you, a nursing mother, eat well.

 

[Camellia]

Thanks for the concern Captain Optimism. I do have WIC and it is rare that we don't have enough to eat in the house, and when it happens its very short term.

Usually my son has yogurt, dried fruit, crackers, peanut butter, milk, cereal etc... all readily available in the mornings. He gets up so early and I am not always available to make him breakfast that early. So, we make sure to have easy healthy things on his level. That particular day all that was available were the crackers

which just made the rough day worse.

It has been a bit more difficult to get to the store with the baby, but things are getting easier everyday.

Also, my ds just finished pre-school 2 weeks ago so we are establishing a new routine. We have had lovely weather and been spending most of the day out of the house at parks and on walks etc... The day I mention in the OP we were stuck inside and tired from all of our warm weather adventures

Things are calmed down and we are fine now.

I appreciate the advice I recieve here, and just having a safe place to vent is helpful!

You all are wonderful