[trini]

<p>I'm going through a m/c and trying to decide between just waiting, D&C, and misoprostol.  I was talking to my husband about how we'll need to plan what to do with our 5-year-old ds if I opt for the misoprostol, as I don't want him around in case it gets rough. Also, we'll need a plan for him if I do the D&C.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>DH looks at me and says, "So, does that mean you have to take another week off work?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I am so blessed that this is all PAID leave that I have accumulated.  Everyone at work is very supportive of me taking the time that I need.  Only my husband does not understand.  He acts like I'm taking a vacation.  I have a dead baby inside me and he is giving me a hard time about not going to work. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I haven't even cried during this whole process, yet I'm in tears right now over his attitude.</p>

 

[philomom]

<p>Sorry, I can't imagine that.  I'm sending you a hug. Men do grieve differently than women. Or perhaps the baby wasn't "real" to him yet as it was to you.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I had a miscarriage and I waited it out naturally. I didn't wait long.. just a couple of days. What is your doc/midwife suggesting?</p>

 

[Vespertina]

<p>I'm so sorry, mama.  My thoughts are with you. <img alt="" src="http://files.mothering.com/hug2.gif" title=""></p>

 

[trini]

<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>philomom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1278385/i-just-need-to-scream-right-now#post_16034387"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><br><p> </p>
<p>I had a miscarriage and I waited it out naturally. I didn't wait long.. just a couple of days. What is your doc/midwife suggesting?</p>
</div>
</div>
<p>I'll see my doctor again tomorrow.  When he gave me the news yesterday I couldn't make a decision yet so I said I'd wait.  The thing is, I was bleeding heavily since last Wednesday.  The little baby had a heartbeat but I appeared to be miscarrying his twin that never developed.  So, I've been off work for almost 2 weeks already with the ups and downs of this whole thing. My bleeding tapered off by Monday, though.  It's crazy.  I was bleeding when I had a baby with a heartbeat, and now that the baby has died I quit bleeding. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I'm assuming my dr is going to recommend the D&C, but I'm leaning towards the misoprostol at this point.  I don't know. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Do women really end up taking a month off when they have an early 1st trimester m/c?<br>
 </p>

 

[Jane]

<p>One thing to consider is that you can get review of the baby's chromosomes if you do the D and C.  I have no idea if that's something you're interested in. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I do think you should take the time you need.  No matter what. </p>

 

[bcblondie]

<p>You might be able to get them to test the baby and/or placenta just with natural/miso, too. You just have to ask.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I also wanted to make sure  you're aware that there are herbs and stuff that can help the process naturally. I did the Vit C and parsley thing and I believe it worked. Either that or it was a crazy coincidence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I'm sorry you're going through this hun. It's so terrible. Make sure to give your dh a reality check. This is no vacation.</p>

 

[Milk8shake]

<p>Ick. It's a crap situation. If you have all this paid leave, then take it. All the time that you need.</p>
<p>It's you that's going through it, not your DH.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Anyway, if you decide to do it at home - natural or misoprostal (but especially misoprostal), it is <em>really important</em> that you have an adult at home with you once it kicks into gear.</p>
<p>Doesn't matter who it is, and maybe they can occupy DC for you too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As far as a D&C goes, you need an adult with you for 24 hours after the anaesthetic. TBH, I think I would have been okay on my own, but better safe than sorry.</p>
<p>I was just a bit groggy/sleepy, and by the next day, I was ok.</p>
<p>I did have some pretty wicked cramps, pains, clots etc both times, but it wasn't to the point where I was unable to function.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Also, as far as time off, I had a week off after my first (natural, 12w5d) and 3 days each for my 10w d&c, including the day of the procedure.</p>
<p>There were a few hours off here and there for appointments, etc.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I really, really wanted more time off. And I should have taken it. But I couldn't at the time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Best of luck</p>

 

[Jane]

<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">
<p>Originally Posted by <strong>bcblondie</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1278385/i-just-need-to-scream-right-now#post_16035333"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></p>
<p> </p>
<p>You might be able to get them to test the baby and/or placenta just with natural/miso, too. You just have to ask.</p>
</div>
</div>
<p><br>
The concern is that waiting for a natural miscarriage often makes the baby/placenta too degraded to test.  It's def a possibility. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now that you've made the decision to stay home til thanksgiving and do a D/C, I hope you can let go of the weight of those decisions.  It's done.  Now you just have to get through it. </p>

 

[trini]

<p>Thanks, mamas.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Had a D&C yesterday and feel good about that decision.  DH has been very supportive about this aspect of it, too.</p>

 

[SubliminalDarkness]

<p>I'm glad you were able to make a decision, and that DH seems to be supportive. My DH wasn't very good about things, either. He just didn't understand it. It takes him a while to 'bond' with a pregnancy anyway(like, oh, 9 months) so the loss isn't the same for him as it is for me. Men are just dense sometimes. I'm sorry. </p>