I know this is okay, but why do I feel sad

gsmom · 2006-04-11

DS is 2 months old and has basically lived his first two months in the sling. I like being an AP mom! He needed bouncing, rocking and jiggling to go to sleep at night usually. In the last couple of days all he wants is to be swaddled, put down, in his bed with or without his paci (he usually spits it out after several minutes) to go to sleep. My first kiddo was a snuggler at night and needed to be nursed and rocked to sleep. This one is not and I am feeling really sad about it.

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mamabeth

· #2 · Apr 11, 2006

sorry...

I know what you mean. Both of my kids have not wanted to be snuggled or rocked to sleep....it just hypes them up and so they both have slept better away from us in the sidecar. it makes me sad but I am coming to terms with not doing AP just for the sake of AP, you know? doing what the babies need instead. take care mama and enjoy those sling times.

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seeingeyecat

· #3 · Apr 11, 2006

I was shocked the first time I set down DD for a 'momma time out' when she was having a rare to-tired-to-sleep crying fit, and she squimed and fell into a peaceful nap. Since then she has taught me that there is only so long she likes to stay in the sling or in my arms and, especially when we have a busy afternoon out of the house, she likes to have some indipendance time in her seat. I still concider myself a loving AP momma, and a better one for being adaptable to my daughters needs.

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Arwensmommy

· #4 · Apr 11, 2006

I don't think AP is defined by the amount of time you spend rocking your baby, or whether or not you cosleep. It's the intention with which you raise your baby, and the principles. You are still an AP mom, even when you don't sleep snuggled up with your baby. You are giving him all the attachment, love, bonding and care he needs and he is feeling safe and secure enough to sleep by himself. I understand why you feel sad, but it's a beautiful accomplishment. Hugs to you!

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gsmom

Discussion Starter · #5 · Apr 11, 2006

Thanks! I do miss the snuggles, but it is nice to know that he is secure enough with life to fall asleep on his own. His brother needed snuggles at night until he fell asleep until he was well into 4 and now that baby is here needs them more frequently (he's 5 1/2) although he's taken to sleeping in his kiddie tent, so it's much harder to squeeze and adult and tall 5 yo in there! I am glad there's no one watching when I try to finagle my way out after he falls asleep

!

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Autumn Breeze

· #6 · Apr 11, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by mamabeth
sorry...

I know what you mean. Both of my kids have not wanted to be snuggled or rocked to sleep....it just hypes them up and so they both have slept better away from us in the sidecar. it makes me sad but I am coming to terms with not doing AP just for the sake of AP, you know? doing what the babies need instead. take care mama and enjoy those sling times.

that *is* AP....listening and doing what your child needs....

:

Some nights dd doesnt want to cuddle so I slide her over to the crib. Sometimes I have to hold her hand so *I* can fall asleep.

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spiritmomma

· #7 · Apr 11, 2006

Sometimes I think that Attachment Parenting is a misnomer since so many people think AP means the child is physically attached to you all the time!

And while the in arms aspect is important, the true attachment is the emotional one. The key is knowing that your baby is getting all they need from you (including the need for alone time or some space). Congratulations to you for being a wonderful momma by putting your child's needs first!

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DreamsInDigital

· #8 · Apr 11, 2006

Being an awesome AP mama is all about accepting what your child needs from you, and by allowing him to sleep the way he wants you are giving him that! Don't feel sad, you're doing an awesome job!

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Justmee

· #9 · Apr 11, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by spiritmomma
Sometimes I think that Attachment Parenting is a misnomer since so many people think AP means the child is physically attached to you all the time!

And while the in arms aspect is important, the true attachment is the emotional one. The key is knowing that your baby is getting all they need from you (including the need for alone time or some space). Congratulations to you for being a wonderful momma by putting your child's needs first!

My nine month old has only nursed to sleep a handful of times since she was about 6 weeks old. She likes to nures, come off, and go to sleep in her crib. When she wakes up in the night i have to nurse her then she wants back in her crib 90% of the time. Some babies just seem to need their space

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