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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My ds who will be 3 in november, refuses to nap. He WILL fall asleep in the car in the afternoon out of confinement/boredom, but that's it. He quite obviously NEEDS a nap judging by: eye rubbing, flopping over onto the couch for a few seconds, and then the absolute delirium that ensues the rest of the day starting at around 11am, usually. last night, he was so out of his mind at dinner that he didn't even eat - threw everything, spit stuff out, blew bubbles in his water glass. i just bathed him and nursed him to sleep at 6:40 b/c NO ONE could take it anymore. he awoke 3 times during the night - once for diaper change, once to nurse "i'm hungry" and then once to mumble "my tummy hurts" - he went back to sleep very easily each time, but i DID nurse when requested b/c i figured he was hungry after skipping dinner. he got up at 8am. he usually gets up by 7.<br>
an average day involves wakeup at 7 and to bed between 7 and 8 without any naps. he is a holy terror all afternoon and evening. i've tried nursing, rocking, walking, ignoring his screams and backarches (while i'm holding him or lying with him). i've never left him to cry. he will make hooting noises, flap his arms, ANYTHING to keep the stimulation going and keep himself awake. I KNOW he's tired and i'm trying to help him, but it's not working. I used to try to tell myself he was a kid who didn't need a nap, but that can't be right.<br>
Any ideas for getting him to nap. With gas prices the way they are, I can't just hop in the car for a 1.5 hour drive.<br>
BTW, I also have a 9week old in the house to try to work around.
 

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you can't make him go to sleep, but you CAN make him lie down. I do home daycare, so trust me on this one. I have 6 toddlers that all take a nap at the same time every day!! After lunch, its nap time... and thats all there is to it. They have to lie down, I take off their shoes, close the curtains, turn off the lights and insist that they stay on their "beds." And they all eventually fall asleep. SOme take longer than others, but if you don't let him get up, I bet he will succumb to sleep.<br><br>
So, pick a time that works for your family, make it the same time every day and start the routine. Give it a week or so to sink in to his head that it is NAP time.... and no other time will happen until a nap has been taken. Make as many things consistent about that time of day as you can. The place where he naps, the blanket/pillow/stuffed animal he naps with. The lights are out, curtains closed, you leave the room.... (my nap room is the living room and I stay in our computer room during nap time so I can see them, but don't disrupt them)
 

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I am having that problem too, kinda. My ds gets up at 7, and goes to bed at 6 30. He WILL nap, eventually, but this is what happens: Lie down with ds at 2pm(we cannot lie down sooner as dh goes to work at 2, and he is in the room getting ready,etc, plus he wants to spend time with ds. Also, if we lie down sooner, like on dhs days off, he goes insane. Lie down at 2, turn on a movie whilst lying down. I fall asleep, or, ds falls asleep, at 3. He wakes at about 5, with me trying to wake him starting at 4 30. He wont fall asleep at night til um 11. so its either dont nap and go crazy or nap and go crazy.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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The book <i>Sleepless in America</i> really helped me. The calming routine is crucial, but the book also tells you how to identify the number of hours your child needs to sleep in a day, and how to determine the best times to start the routine to go to sleep. I got it from the library and although I didn't follow every detail, it has made a tremendous difference in my awareness of DD's sleeping patterns and how to get her to sleep as much as possible.<br><br>
Hope that helps!
 

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I've been there... a lot.<br><br>
It was a lot worse a few months ago. (I think the new baby in the house had something to do with it to.) One day, I said out of frustration, "What can I do to help you fall asleep?"<br><br>
And he told me!!! (He wanted a specific song.)<br><br>
So I ask him almost everyday now. It's been awhile since we've had a day without a nap.<br><br>
Oh, I also talk about what we're going to do <i>after</i> the nap.<br><br>
I hope it gets better! I know it's tough with a no-napping toddler!
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I also talk about what we're going to do after the nap.</td>
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I do this with my 4 month old as well! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I haven't been a mum to a toddler yet, although I have minded a few toddlers, so my experience is very limited. I think its quite important HOW you go about it. I think you shouldn't be stern or firm about it becaus ethat kind of sets the sleep up to be a punishment/trial... like eating your greens or washing behind your ears....kwim? it helps if you can build up sleep-time as if its a real nice treat that he gets in the middle of the day kindofthing. I often tell William "Oh I wish I could have a cosy sunggly snooze right now just like you, its so lovely and cutchy and warm in bed!" etc. I know he's only 4months old, but still. I think babies understand more than we know much earlier than we realise.....<br><br>
I have heard a lot about how toddlers like to make decisions.... have you tried asking him where he would like to sleep? on the couch or in his bed? would you like a drink before you go to sleep? would you like your blanket/teddy/whatever? would you like a story/song.... which one? So he doesn't get to choose whether he has a nap or not but he does get to choose one or two aspects about it? would that help?
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
thank you everyone for your replies.<br><br>
as far as keeping him down to rest (even if he won"t sleep): i've tried this! he laughs, climbs down, i say or go back and he dives on the couch - only to pop back up 2 seconds later. extremely frustrating to say the least.<br><br>
we have lights out, no tv, curtain closed with a dark sheet over it to block light, fan on (always sleeps with fan on), he indicates that he wants to lie on the couch. he asks to nurse - i oblige. he gets somewhat quiet and then BOOM! he must kick, arch, flap an arm, howl (while nursing, mind you!), blow raspberries on the boob, you name it...unfortunately, i'm getting ticked off at this point b/c i KNOW he's tired. i HAVE read SIA, but haven't found it overly helpful, just enlightening to the fact that i recognize his problem behaviors during the day ARE related to lack of sleep.<br><br>
momtosimon: may i send him to your house?<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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I have been having a similar problem w/ my 2 y/o. He is the king of the 20 minute nap, which isn't enough for either one of us! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> So today I closed the bedroom door, got in bed w/ him and insisted it was time to nap. Oh, the tears! I just closed my eyes and kept repeating, "Mommy needs to rest." I nursed initially and then just offered to rub his back. He fell asleep--I couldn't believe it. OF courrse it did take a sweet forever, and I had to lie there w/ him THE WHOLE TIME which kind of defeats a lot of the naptime benefit, IMO! But progress, not perfection.<br><br>
I think a daycare provider would be able to get him down a lot easier than I can. I knew a mom who dropped her child off every day at naptime at a daycare center, just because it was the only way she could get the child to nap!
 

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My older son stopped napping before he was 2. it took about three days of going to the park at what used to be nap time to get through the tough part. It was distracting enough to be out of the house doing park stuff to keep him awake yet happy. I took him there in the wagon so he wouldn't try to fall asleep on the way there or back. When we got home I'd put in a movie, get him a snack and we would have a quiet rest for an hour. This was usually enough to rejuvenate him to get through to supper, then bath and bed. There were quite a few nights in the first couple months where bathtime lasted 4 minutes and he was in bed fast because he was so tired. He got into the no nap routine quickly and started sleeping long hours at night 13-14 hours solid, which was a miracle. As a baby and up until he stopped napping, he would wake very frequently at night, most of the time screaming <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Ahh, this sounds like me. She can be in her room and keep herself awake for hours no matter what I do. Sing, rock, read, snacks, everything. She is very persistant, always pushing and testing and asking for more of everything no matter what I do for her. More songs, more books, more rocking...<br><br><b>"So, pick a time that works for your family, make it the same time every day and start the routine. Give it a week or so to sink in to his head that it is NAP time.... and no other time will happen until a nap has been taken. Make as many things consistent about that time of day as you can. The place where he naps, the blanket/pillow/stuffed animal he naps with. The lights are out, curtains closed, you leave the room.... "</b><br><br>
I have tried all of that, we are very consistent, but if she doesn't want to nap, she can fight it for hours.<br><br><br>
What helps us is letting her have a little reading light and tell her she can read for a while then to turn the light off and lay down when her body feels tired. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.<br><br>
Also, we use a gate in her door, yes, a gate. She seems to like the boundry and when I have forgotten to put it up she asks for it. Maybe it helps her feel secure?<br><br>
She does have a blanket (since she was 4m) and a bear she always sleeps with.<br><br>
I have noticed that the days I am really involved with her in the am, she naps easier and better. We have to do a combination of a lot of physical and mental things to wear her out, I figured this out when she went to a YMCA morning preschool thing for 2hours, 4 days with a friend (she LOVED it) and took great naps in the afternoon.<br><br>
I also have to prepare her for each step of the routine and what will come next, if we miss a step she has a melt down.<br><br>
She wears me out.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·

I have noticed that the days I am really involved with her in the am, she naps easier and better. We have to do a combination of a lot of physical and mental things to wear her out, I figured this out when she went to a YMCA morning preschool thing for 2hours, 4 days with a friend (she LOVED it) and took great naps in the afternoon./QUOTE]<br><br>
I have actually thought about preschool for just this reason b/c I can't seem to get it together enough to actually wear him out in the morning <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br>
I feel like all i do is let the dog out, make bfast, tend to baby, change diapers (on both kids), tend to baby, let dog out, clean up some gigantic spill, change diapers, wash diapers, make snacks, and NURSE NURSE NURSE all the while...etc...<br>
i'm looking forward to playdate tomorrow morning b/c he'll likely sleep in the car the hour drive home.
 

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Shut the door/babygate mamas, how do you do it? Doesn't your DC cry? Our son has always slept w/ us until v. recently, and although he naps alone, he has to be nursed down and i can't leave until he's totally asleep. Please, give me some hints/advice for my 2 y/o!!! I feel like if I shut him up in his room he'd lose it--I would!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>newbymom05</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9045404"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Shut the door/babygate mamas, how do you do it? Doesn't your DC cry? Our son has always slept w/ us until v. recently, and although he naps alone, he has to be nursed down and i can't leave until he's totally asleep. Please, give me some hints/advice for my 2 y/o!!! I feel like if I shut him up in his room he'd lose it--I would!</div>
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Sorry, I don't know, I am the gate mom, and I know it sounds horrible. We talked to her about it before we did it. She was about 2.5 or so when we started it, she would get out of bed about 15 times every nap and night time. I was pregnant and wearing out. We told her it was for her safety so we would know she was safe in her room while we were napping/cleaning ect while she was napping and she hasn't questioned it. She does, however, get to choose if she wants the door open or closed. I like that about the gate, she can see through it, call for us and have the door open.<br><br>
Yes sometimes she crys, but usually it is over something like me saying no to a snack in her bed since we just finished lunch about 10 min ago and I have to go get her sister nursed to sleep. I go up there and deal with what she needs a million times, sometimes she sleeps, sometimes not.<br><br>
She weaned at 20m while I was pregnant, so she hasn't nursed to sleep since then. Altough we have a million things we have to do to try get her to settle down. I think that is a whole nother thread to ask for advice on.<br><br><br>
oh yeah, today was another no nap day. super fun.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>rebyell</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9047375"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Sorry, I don't know, I am the gate mom, and I know it sounds horrible. We talked to her about it before we did it. She was about 2.5 or so when we started it, she would get out of bed about 15 times every nap and night time. I was pregnant and wearing out. We told her it was for her safety so we would know she was safe in her room while we were napping/cleaning ect while she was napping and she hasn't questioned it. She does, however, get to choose if she wants the door open or closed. I like that about the gate, she can see through it, call for us and have the door open.<br><br>
Yes sometimes she crys, but usually it is over something like me saying no to a snack in her bed since we just finished lunch about 10 min ago and I have to go get her sister nursed to sleep. I go up there and deal with what she needs a million times, sometimes she sleeps, sometimes not.<br><br>
She weaned at 20m while I was pregnant, so she hasn't nursed to sleep since then. Altough we have a million things we have to do to try get her to settle down. I think that is a whole nother thread to ask for advice on.<br><br><br>
oh yeah, today was another no nap day. super fun.</div>
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I don't think it sounds horrible, it sounds like a workable idea!
 

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We went through this with DD at this age too.<br><br>
My solution for days we couldn't get out and about was water! DD loves to play in the shower or in a bath and it really wears her out fast. She would play for about 10 minutes and then be so super tiered I nursed her to sleep naked wrapped in the towel half the time.<br><br>
Quiet time with books and a snack also helped rejuvenate her on days that there was just not gonna be a nap.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">: Sometimes her drink would be a small cup of ice tea (pitcher of tea made with 1 tea bag and some herbal teas mixed together) and I think the tiny bit of caffeine along with a healthy snack helped her through that lull in the afternoon a lot of us feel. I certainly do not recommend caffeinating kids. Just something I noticed.
 
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