[Ahimsa]

The other day my baby had just fallen asleep. I needed to run to the store, so instead of disturbing him I left him with his dad. I was gone about 20 min. I came back to him crying. My fiance said he was crying the whole time. My poor baby, just a month old, had his first tears in his eyes. He just melted in my arms and I couldn't help but cry.

I feel so bad. I know I will never do that again. I'll bring him along no matter the length of the trip or how deeply he's sleeping. After this experience, I don't know how some can just listen to their babes cio. It's heart breaking.

Ahimsa

 

[newbabybug]

I'm sorry you feel so bad. You did not let your baby CIO. You left him with your fiance so that you were able to run out briefly. It is heartbreaking to see your dc cry but don't beat yourself up over it.
Sit down with your fiance and discuss your feelings about CIO. And remember there is a difference between CIO alone in a crib and CIO while being held in someone's arms. The latter example is not CIO (in my opinion) because you are there trying to comfort your dc. Best of luck to you.

 

[dnr3301]

I totally agree that there is a difference between being left alone to cry and being held while crying (not that both don't hurt my mama ears). Your baby will be alright. Sounds like you are a caring mama.

 

[HokieMum]

I agree with earlier posts--There is a difference between CIO and crying in arms. Mothering just had an article on crying in arms, and what makes it different from CIO. It was on the MDC front page last week...it made me feel better about a crying episode that we had last week (no matter how I tried, I couldn't soothe dd...the article has some good points about babies relieving stress through crying and if in a supportive environment ie:loving arms, crying is fine)

Please don't stress or blame yourself!

 

[MisfitMama]

I know how you feel! I let my little sister take my ds for a walk when he was only a week old - because I was getting totally harassed about being "overprotective" by my family. Grrr. Thank God Almighty, he slept the whole time, but I was so mad at myself for doing that that I made a rule that we wouldn't be separated again unless I was totally comfortable. I don't think I left ds to go to the store (leaving him with dh) until he was 8 or 9 months old. I would go places that dh could walk to, in case of emergency, though. This might sound extreme to some, but I don't think babies were meant to not have access to their mamas - so even now at 13 mo. I always make sure I'm never more than walking distance away from him (about 2-3 miles tops.)

This way I don't have to worry so much about him crying the way you describe. There have been a *couple* of times that I made bad decisions and let dh take him on a bike or in a car for a couple of miles, and I have been mad at myself when that has resulted in him crying really hard (shudder). DH always takes the cell, and twice I've had to run out to meet them. . . It really is *so* hard to know sometimes! I like to err on the side of caution because I don't want to traumatize ds or deal with the guilt, either!

MisfitMama