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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I don't even know how to begin this...<br><br>
I took Zoe to the doc today to have her eyes checked out. She has always had a funny eye pattern; one that I chalked up to infant tracking--her eyes sort of move horizontally when she focuses on things.<br><br>
When she was an infant, it looked like she was tracking. Now that she is seven months, I thought it was unusual so I brought her in.<br><br>
She has a condition called Nystagmus.<br><br><a href="http://www.spedex.com/resource/documents/veb/nystagmus.html" target="_blank">http://www.spedex.com/resource/docum...nystagmus.html</a><br><br>
"Involuntary, rhythmical, repeated oscillations of one or both eyes, in any or all fields of gaze; may be pendular (with undulating movements of equal speed, amplitude, and duration, in each direction) or jerky (with slower movements in one direction, followed by a faster return to the original position). "<br><br>
"There is no known treatment, however, certain types of jerky nystagmus (commonly Grade I types) show spontaneous improvement in childhood (up to age 10). This type may also be amenable to muscle surgery (essentially, a repositioning of muscles to take advantage of the point of least nystagmus, or position of relative rest)."<br><br>
I am pretty sure she has grade I type--and it does seem that she can see clearly. It also seems to have gotten better since she was born.<br><br>
So that is two diagnosises in six months. I thought we were just getting a handle on Violet's hearing and speech issues and now this. I feel like I make broken babies.<br><br>
She has a referral to see a neurologist but I dont' know when it will be.
 

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the title of your thread is so sad. your babies aren't broken & you are right on top of things getting them the best care possible! (i know deep down you know this!)<br><br>
my best friend's daughter has nystagmus, if you have any specific questions LMK & i will pass them on to her.<br><br>
please keep us posted when she has an appt.<br><br>
i have loved reading about violet after getting her hearing aid. your girls are beautiful!
 

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Jesse, you make beautiful, wonderful babies. I've seen their pix and I've read about them enough to know that for a fact! Violet and Zoe could not have picked a better mama for making perfect babies.<br><br>
It will all be OK. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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ouch, Jessie, that hurts. You I mean. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I'd be having similar feelings too, and I had terrible guilt when I found out I broke my dd in utero (kidney issues). The good news (which still may not feel very good right now) is that nystagmus is correctable and if she has a low grade it'll be just a blip on the radar screen of life someday (I hope). Many more <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> to you and your babies.<br><br>
Leah
 

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I don't believe that. I believe that delicate little souls who need extra love and attention may try very hard to find a home where they will get that. Your precious girls sure did.
 

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Deep in your gut you know that you made the most beautiful babies in the world. But you knew that already. And you're the most loving mama that they need the most in the world ... which you know already, too.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><br><br>
Learn all you can.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><br><br>
They're lucky to have you ...
 

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....broken according to who? and to what standard?<br><br>
All children are beautiful, and perfect in themselves. My heart goes out to you, Jesse. Hang in there, mama. Your sadness make my heart ache for you right now. But I know you will get through this and find joy again!<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I am so sorry you think you make broken babies. please take the time you need to grieve over this latest diagnosis, but also be gentle with yourself. You and your little ones are in my thoughts and prayers.<br>
Gossamer
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I woke up this morning with a new outlook: things can always get worse. I mean really, this isn't the most wonderful diagnosis in the world, but its not a tumor. It's not cancer. It's not a train wreck. It's not the plague. Its eye tremors. So she might not be able to drive a car--we'll move to a city with good public transit.<br><br>
I have to keep in persepctive the fact that in all areas, Zoe is developing normally or ahead of schedule. Her balance does not seem to be a problem and she can see--I know this!!!<br><br>
I feel badly for saying my babies are broken. They are not broken. I do think they choose us--and I know we can handle this.<br><br>
Thanks to everyone.
 
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