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I guess I don't know where this goes...I'm pregnant and part of all of this is the fact that I know in 2 months or so, another little person will join our family and take up a lot of my time and I won't get as much one-on-one time with DD. But part of it is also that I'm the working parent (DH is a SAHD). I WAH so I actually do get to see DD quite a bit - I get up with her at least every other morning, make my 5-second commute around 9 am, see her periodically throughout the day and sometimes have time to spend 30-60 minutes w/her then, and then see her after work (DH usually cooks). I usually do the bedtime routine too.

But tonight I miss her. I was thinking about how our relationship will change once the baby comes and how sometimes I'm with her but I'm not "there" (YKWIM), and vowed to try to change that. Of course that made the whole night go to sh*t. First she wanted to watch a video with me, which I really didn't want to do since it's hardly interactive to just sit there (it's one she's seen plenty of times already). So we went upstairs instead and played for about 20 minutes until dinner. Then after dinner DH says to her hey, the girls across the street are out playing, want to go over there? (When really it was more like hey, I want to go shoot some hoops with their dad.) They have been over there for the past hour and I've been sitting here depressed. Am I totally selfish to just want to be with her? Nothing against the neighbors, I am just huge and wobbly and feel kinda nauseous and don't feel much like putting on a happy face for them just to try to spend some time with my DD (who would be playing with the other kids, anyway).

Honestly I think I'd be a crappy SAHP but some days like today I just feel bad about working. She's so used to it now and has no separation issues...but I guess I do. and the whole giving birth soon thing just makes it worse.

Plus this weekend is our wedding anniversary and dh is being his usual pragmatic boring and completely nonromantic self about it. I had to make dinner reservations for us and arrange for a babysitter or we would have wound up doing nothing. He constantly asks what he can do for me (since I'm pregnant) and if there's something I want, I tell him. I didn't ask him to take my daughter away from me tonight so he could go play basketball and I could sit alone at the computer like I do all day anyway.
 

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am curious why u couldnt go out there with ur dd and join their game. i have done that plenty of time. i know u dont really see ur dd as often as u want to. and so the time u have u want complete one on one time with. but most times that is not what she wants. she wants to involve u in her game so she can see life thru ur eyes.

i see my dd for 2 hours after i come home. one and a half hours or all of the two is spent either playing at teh park or visiting neighbours. rarely is it one on one just the two of us. my dd loves involving me in her games. she either involves me directly or runs every 5 minutes to tell me what she found exciting. somedays i am just happy to watch her have fun without me being a part of her game. but i think that comes out of me being a WOH single mom who hates sending her dd to dc.

ur relation will change when baby comes but dont focus on teh immediate future. u r giving her the best gift ever. and no matter what -- u will always be her mama and in times of need she will always need u.

when she grows up she will truly understand the sacrifices u made, esp. after she becomes a mom herself.

take care of ur self and have a great anniversary (men ARE from mars arent they?!!)
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by nancy926
Honestly I think I'd be a crappy SAHP but some days like today I just feel bad about working.
Oh, I can so relate to this feeling. So can my dh! (We both WOH part time.) Neither one of us could be at home full-time, but even so, we have pangs now and then. I think it goes with the territory of being a parent; no matter what choice you make--even if its the best one!--will feel 100% right all of the time. I can only imagine how expecting another child would magnify those feelings.

No brilliant advice, just a few words of commiseration.
 
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