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I know pregnancy hormones can sometimes make you feel things more intensely than they really are so I'm looking for feedback about a baby shower situation I'm in. Just want to know if I'm doing something wrong or not, or getting too upset about things.

I am in a neighborhood group of young married couples (with and without kids, but we are the ones with kids mainly right now) that gets together once a week to hang out. We do neighborhood service projects, talk about life, eat, etc. Anyway, a girl there called "M" is an event planner. Very social person, talkative, etc. I'm very shy, reserved, kind of like to get my own stuff taken care of and not involve or rely on people. I'm working on that, but it really is a struggle for me to let people help me out.

So, M says when we told the group we were expecting, "Oh, I'll throw you a baby shower". We had just moved here and thought we were done having kids so we had sold every baby-related thing except our nursery furniture set. So I needed a lot for this baby in terms of clothing, gear, etc. I told her that a shower would be very much appreciated.

Fast forward to now, I'm due in about 5 weeks and M never mentioned the shower to me again. Remember, we see each other once or twice a week so it's not like you can miss the fact that I'm very pregnant. I just *assumed* she had forgotten about giving me a shower, right? So I went about my business this week gathering some things we need right away for baby. Carseat, we had to buy new ones for our other two because of having to fit 3 across now. So we bought baby's carseat too, to make sure it fit. Sling, I got the one I really wanted. Cloth diapers, my sister sent me back all the ones I loaned her for my niece, plus all the newborn clothing I forgot I'd given her. I bought a Boppy today because I really used mine a lot with the other two and wanted it for right after birth. And I've got boobs, so we don't need any feeding devices
We cosleep so the crib decor stuff isn't a big deal for me.

Basically, we're set for the new baby until it's about 3-4 months old, minus a few things like a bouncer (we've got dogs and can't lay baby on the floor) and a few other odds and ends.

So M comes over to our house today and saw the Boppy and asked what it was (she doesn't have kids). I told her I'd picked it up for the baby and that it really helps facilitate BF. She said, "Well, I thought you would register for something like that for your baby shower".

Awkward silence ensues.


So I said, "Well, what shower? I'm due in a few weeks and I haven't heard anything about a shower". Well, she says something like "I just thought someone in the group would throw you one, or we'd put something together at the last minute."

Would an event planner really throw something together last minute?

We left it at that and when I mentioned it to dh he said "Maybe she forgot she volunteered but felt bad about telling you that." I'm fine with not having a shower, really. We don't need as much stuff as we thought originally because we're not going to be buying all the latest contraptions that we bought with DS and DD. And we have time to get things like a highchair, toys, etc. as time goes by.

I know this is long, sorry. Am I wrong/rude to assume she isn't doing a shower for me? I honestly felt it was more rude to ask her IF/WHEN she was going to do it and just wanted to get myself set up with the few basic needs before babe comes as it will be around the holidays and winter here. I'm not a last minute person.

Thoughts? Should I apologize? Things feel wierd now.
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I don't think you were rude at all. I would've assumed the same thing--that she'd either forgotten or she didn't take herself seriously when she initially mentioned it. Throwing someone a baby shower really isn't a last minute thing, as it takes a bit of planning and most people have their showers 1-2 months before the baby is born. I don't think you should apologize. If anything, she should be more thoughtful to you!
 

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I agree with you. I wouldn't count on her to throw me a shower. I would need to know I have everything I need for a new baby at least 4 weeks before baby comes.
 
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