Mothering Forum banner

1 - 19 of 19 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,489 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Any other packrats out there? I dont know why but I seem to have an issue with saving...well....everything and therefore in a small home it always looks cluttered and horrid. I need to declutter and let go but I dont know how!<br>
HELP!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
85 Posts
<a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?f=315" target="_blank">http://www.mothering.com/discussions...play.php?f=315</a> <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="heartbeat">
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
9,674 Posts
I'm the child of packrats. You really don't want your kids to grow up this way. I was always ashamed to have folks over as a kid. It was terrible.<br><br>
Just chant to yourself as you go through "beautiful or useful?!" , if it flunks, out it goes. Allow yourself a little wiggle room for sentimental items. I have five boxes of baby/toddler clothes that I just can't part with. They are out of my main living area and packed up carefully.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,489 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>philomom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7925546"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm the child of packrats. You really don't want your kids to grow up this way. I was always ashamed to have folks over as a kid. It was terrible.<br><br>
Just chant to yourself as you go through "beautiful or useful?!" , if it flunks, out it goes. Allow yourself a little wiggle room for sentimental items. I have five boxes of baby/toddler clothes that I just can't part with. They are out of my main living area and packed up carefully.<br><br>
Good luck!</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
And see that is what drives my parents nuts. They were NOT packrats and their house is always pristine, they said they cannot understand why they raised me to be like them in that aspect and yet I turned out to be one that feels a need to keep EVERYTHING! lol!<br>
My worst issue is I buy things and never use them, but hwen I come across them I feel like I cant throw it out because I MIGHT use it! LOL!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,108 Posts
I make a rule that if I haven't used it in 6 months it goes.<br>
Most likely you will use/need something that you got rid of. But it will be 1 thing out of 1,000.<br>
And you can replace that 1 thing easily.<br>
National Public Radio did a show on hoarding, and they said it's more of a psychological issue and parts of the brain are responding diff. than most peoples do.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,489 Posts
Discussion Starter #6
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jillkuster</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7927847"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I make a rule that if I haven't used it in 6 months it goes.<br>
Most likely you will use/need something that you got rid of. But it will be 1 thing out of 1,000.<br>
And you can replace that 1 thing easily.<br>
National Public Radio did a show on hoarding, and they said it's more of a psychological issue and parts of the brain are responding diff. than most peoples do.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
So what is the psychological issue? If I knew then maybe I could work through it and move on!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,108 Posts
I tried to dig through the old NPR archives to find a link to the show, but I can't find it. It was a few months ago.<br>
I remember it was on while I was driving on a Sunday, so I just kept driving-it was so good.<br>
If I remember right, they were saying that a certain area of the brain isn't functioning correctly in most hoarders, and that most medications haven't been helpful so far.<br>
And there were a slew of psychological issues as you can imagine.<br>
I remember some of them:<br>
feeling like you don't have any control over your life.<br>
being scared that you'll not have enough at some point.<br>
feeling too overwhelmed to make a discision-so you keep everything.<br>
trouble distingusihinb between useful and not necessary items.<br>
It was really indepth, and very interesting.<br>
They had some people work with a life coach, and they would clean out their house for them or with them. Sometimes seperating from the items they'd hoarded would bring on a deep depression for the person.<br>
Stuff like that.<br>
I don't remember much because like I said, it was months ago, but I wish I could find the link for you.<br>
(sorry, i'm nursing while typing-always lol.)<br>
They also addressed the deep shame that comes with this disorder, and how a lot of people don't want to have company over to their house due to hoarding.<br>
Family could be really critical as well, adding to the persons depression and sense of failure.<br>
Maybe you could find the broadcast if you look. It was on a sunday afternoon on npr. I'm in Iowa, but I don't know if that makes a difference or not. Maybe you could write them and get a link. Usually you can go back and listen to old broadcasts.<br>
I have an interest in this because my mother struggles with it.<br>
My sister and I are both super clean and organized-not because of living with her (she developed this after we'd moved out.) Sometimes while she's not home we go over and throw out most of her house.......we have an agreement with her that if she goes on vacation we give her a "gift" when she gets home. A surprise cleaned out house so her vacation mindset dosen't get cluttered when she gets back home. You should see how long it takes us. My lord.....some of the stuff she keeps.<br>
But, the program also said that for most people, offering to help isn't always appropriate-since it brings up so many issues. I'd help you clean if I could though!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br>
Are you actually a hoarder, or just in need of some organization though? One is an illness, the other just life lol.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,108 Posts
I looked some more and found this:<a href="http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1920203" target="_blank">http://www.npr.org/templates/story/s...toryId=1920203</a><br>
I dont' know if it's the one I listend to or not, because the date on it dosen't match up to when I heard it, but it's very close if not right on to what I was talking about.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,489 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jillkuster</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7928968"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Are you actually a hoarder, or just in need of some organization though? One is an illness, the other just life lol.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I dont know. I know that I save things that are often considered stupid by others and I have much more "stuff" than space to store it. That I save almost everything I get. But I go through stages where I will Freecycle tons of things. But it never seems to go down enough. I dont mind people over, but I dont let them in anywhere but the kitchen and living room. All doors to rooms are shut and Im horrified at the thought of a walk through. My house is not disgusting by any means, but just messy looking often.<br>
What is NPR stand for? I am going to look it up!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,489 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jillkuster</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7932995"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">it's National Public Radio, and don't look it up because I already found the link for you to the program. See one of my above posts.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Sorry! I guess you posted that while I was typing the other! Im going there now! Thanks!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,489 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
this is why I love messageboards online. Chances are I would never have come across this radio program had you not told me of it! Thanks a ton! Its very interesting.<br>
I think Im not quite a hoarder but Im boardering on it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,108 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>3babies4me</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7939147"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">this is why I love messageboards online. Chances are I would never have come across this radio program had you not told me of it! Thanks a ton! Its very interesting.<br>
I think Im not quite a hoarder but Im boardering on it.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
You're welcome. I found the program fascinating. Turns out my Mom isn't so much a hoarder-as she has Huntington's disease, but this is one thing that goes along with it.<br>
I'm glad you liked the program too.<br>
And I'm glad you're just borderline.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
377 Posts
Check out "Creating Sacred Space w/ Feng Shui" & "Clear Your Clutter w/ Feng Shui" by Karen Kingston. They CHANGED my life. The second book is an expansion on her first. I think I actually perfered Creating Sacred Space. . .<br><br>
These books really helped on SO many levels, and for the first time I began to discard things I had had my entire life for sentimental reasons.<br><br>
My mood lifted, my outlook shifted, and good fortune kept unfolding all around me. No kidding!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
656 Posts
<a href="http://www.flylady.com" target="_blank">www.flylady.com</a><br><br>
Seriously, she changed my life. In a way that is almost scary.<br><br>
I am the child of MASSIVE hoarders. Not just packrats. Like hoarders to the point of nastyness. I NEVER had friends over, until I was 16 or 17 and started bringing a bf over to hook up LOL I guess the reward made it worthwhile for him! But I always knew it was weird and unpleasant. But what could I do? I was just a kid, and I didn't have the first clue how to change it. It got worse as I got older. Now, as I own my first home, and have my family to consider, I am working HARD to learn what I feel I should already know. It's not easy, and it doesn't happen fast. But I look at my parents house (where I can't bring my DS b/c it's too filthy, and it just makes me cry that he's only been there a couple times in his life, and we live in the same city) and I know I can't go down that road. I can't leave my kids that legacy. It's too painful. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Wow, didn't know I was still that tender. Anyway, Flylady has taught me how to have a clean kitchen, for one thing. For the first time in my life, my house is just cluttered, and it's mostly just toys. Amazing.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
262 Posts
I got a really helpful book entitled "Clear you clutter with Feng Shui" by Karen Kingston. I think it touches on some of the psycological reasons for saving things, and gives you good incentive for getting rid of stuff such as if there's clutter in the "money" section of your house then you probably have money problems, etc. Of course, her test for everything is if you don't love it or use it get rid of it!<br><br>
She says that "stagnant energy stacks up around clutter." I have suffered from clutter since I branched out on my own 15 years ago. I have been taking baby steps and over the last couple months I've taken some serious steps toward getting rid of things. It is hard but i is also true that the more I've done the better I feel. Just take it one pile at a time, sister! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,784 Posts
I save too many things because my parents saved very little, and much of what they did save got ruined in a damp basement. I don't want my kids to end up with nothing from their childhoods, the way I did. OTOH, I don't want them to have to get rid of a bunch of crap after dh and I are gone. I hope that gives me plenty of time to pare things down.<br><br>
I have been trying lately to get rid of things, but then I go through the turmoil of trying to decide exactly what to do with certain things. If I give clothes to charity, will they just get thrown out? I hate the thought of stuff just ending up in a landfill. I try to get things to people who can actually use them. For instance, I listed a nursing dress here on TP because I was afraid if I just gave it away, it would get thrown out. (A lot of people would look at it and wonder, "Why does this dress have big holes in the front?" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> )<br><br>
All that said, I know I need to be a lot more ruthless about getting rid of stuff. I do try to be gentle with myself, though. If I am boxing up clothes and a particular item "speaks" to me, I don't make myself give it away.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,938 Posts
I wish I could come over and help you! I love getting rid of stuff.<br><br>
Anyway, I think it is good to explore the "whys" AND be proactive at the same time. It sounds like you have decluttered before but since the underlying issue is unresolved, you kep going back.<br><br>
I like watching the show <i>Clean House</i>. They declutter, have a garage sale, then use the $ to redecorate. I never know if the results last, though.<br><br>
I say, start small. Baby steps. Try decluttering but move the stuff out of sight (basement, garage). Mark the box with the date. Seal it up. If you don't use the stuff within ___ weeks/months, donate or sell it.<br><br>
I say if this is really holding you back, maybe try therapy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
57 Posts
I was gonna mention clean house! I think the way that they force the people to seperate everything into three piles is the most helpful aspect.<br><br>
Also, having the money from the sale as a reward seems like it would help.
 
1 - 19 of 19 Posts
Top