[Nate]

I'm getting weaning pressure frome what feels like all corners. DD is 15 months--still such a little one!--and isn't night weaned, even. She generally will wake more than once per night. In addition, dh is a sahd (I woh), and dd has recently stopped napping for him, period. So she's reliant on me for sleep, which isn't such a problem for me but is a problem for him. Especially when it means that the whole family has to come to a conference when I go (such as last month).

Then I had a job interview last Monday (out of town), and dh decided he'd need help while I was gone so we went to his parents Sat., spent the night, and I drove 2 hrs Sun to the place where I had the interview (interview included a Sun. dinner & then appts all day Mon). I knew that they'd have a tough night, and in fact dd woke several times and howled each time, w/ increasing volume & length of wakefulness... so then Mon morning MIL starts in on dh about how dd doesn't eat enough, she should be taking vitamins, poor nutrition can lead to developmental delays (she's just starting to walk, and really only has 5-6 sort of vague words). I'm not sure if she said anything about b/f, but I think she probably threw that in there. When he told her we have the 15-month appt this week, she asked whether we trust this doctor, and maybe it's time to get a 2nd opinion. (SIL has 4 kids, b/f anywhere from 2-6 months each but supplemented, so MIL doesn't have experience w/ EBF & the different needs & standards.)

Anyway, so dh has made a few sorts of "it might be easier if she weaned" noises in the past month or so. Then I'm telling my sister about the whole situation w/ MIL's unwanted advice, and said something about bf in there, and sis (who has no children) says she thinks I'm just answering reflexively "no" when people bring up weaning (which I probably am), and there comes a point when you need to look at whether it's affecting other things. For instance, b/c I'm bf'ing, the whole family needed to come on this trip, and it's affecting work (b/c they want us to occasionally work until 8, which isn't really an option for me), etc. I really wanted to hang up on her, but that would've proved her point, so I tried to listen & answer her points logically--but it's hard when my gut response is NO, kwim? But anyway I told her that it's also important to look at the benefits vs/ the drawbacks, and right now the benefits were still outweighing the drawbacks.

So then I talked to dh, and dd is refusing to nap again, and I mentioned the conversation w/ my sis, and that I think the benefits are outweighin, etc. etc., and he said "Huh. Well, maybe we can talk about it w/ Dr. Eimermann." So now I feel like even DH wants me to wean! And dd clearly loves it--we're pretty much don't offer, don't refuse, but she asks often.

Help, guys! I don't want to wean, and neither does dd! But I don't want it to be a battle or a pressure on my marriage. Lord knows there's already enough of those...

 

[sohj]

We are pretty lacadaisical (spelling?) about the napping issue. He likes to fall asleep while moving, so the babysitter might have to use the stroller, or someone sits in a rocker with him on the lap. But, plenty of days he doesn't nap at all.

BUT, I'm still nursing at 2 years and 2 months AND working (although I don't travel much) AND agree with you about the benefits outweighing the "bad" bits.

I'm a little confused, if dh is sah, why does he "need" her to nap? Is he a wahd ? (Not meaning to open a can of worms here.

Just asking. )

You're pumping, too, right?

 

[HelloKitty]

OK - first let me just tell you that DS (he's 18 months) never wants to nap for me anymore and naps for DH all the time so... I don't think it's just a breastfeeding issue sometimes! I'm not sure why he won't nap with me but he won't. I need to take him in the car and drive him around and once he's asleep carefully take him inside and then he will sleep for 2-3 hours. But he won't just fall asleep with me anymore during the day like he use to. (Has your DH tried the car trick?) At night he prefers to nurse to sleep and does this every night - but he HAS fallen asleep with DH or with his grandparents if I am out or we are out and back later then expected.

I really think you need to let your DH know how important this is to you and how you don't feel ready to wean and you don't feel your child is ready to wean either. He might not realize that this is important to you and he thinks you are asking him for advice - hence the reason he suggested speaking with the doctor. KWIM?

Oh edited to add that I am working on a modified schedule at work right now - three full days a week but have had to go on I think 6-7 business trips since our youngest was born and have had to take both him and DH with me (to watch while I work) so I understand how tough it is but also the rewards outweighing.

I think they are only young for such a short time, why try to rush them into being older?

Kitty

 

[Nate]

Well, since I'm starting to cry reading your responses, I think he'll realize how important it is to me when I start bawling in front of our doctor. Luckily she's a fam med doc., so hopefully she's used to this sort of thing.

Anyway, she clearly still needs a nap--if she doesn't sleep for him she goes to sleep for me at 5:30 & is down for the night, usually. Kind of hard on me, b/c that means I don't get to see her. Although I do get more time w/dh that way! But he's a free-lance writer, so yes, actually a wahd, so he tries to get stuff done during the day, and if he can't that means he has to do it when I get home, so we don't see each other so much. Plus it means he stays up late to get things done, so then doesn't get enough sleep, and is then worn out the next day for the next round of the incredible unsleeping baby...

I'm hoping it's a phase, but I don't know what kind. I actually feel like there are a number of different issues going on here that we need to deal with, and b/f is becoming the scapegoat...

gotta go catch the bus to make it home for her appt! More later...

 

[Meiri]

1)He needs to make sure he's getting enought sleep to be able to cope with HIS own child whether she naps or not. I'm a nightowl too, so I understand parental daytime sleepiness when kids are wide-awake. It stinks, but it's the adult's responsibility to make sure we're functional through the day, not the child's.

2)Maybe you All can work on a sleepy time routine that will get her down with or without nursing. That way when he does that routine, she will respond.... I'll admit I don't know much how to do this. A story or two, songs and rocking, soft music...?

3)Some kids just don't nap much. Sounds like she's getting her hours in, just all in one big sleep with nursing breaks. Maybe if you approach the doc in terms of ideas for changing her routine to one of nap and then nightime sleep which would then allow YOU to have some awake time with her, there'll be less scapegoating of the breastfeeding and more constructive suggestions.

It seems to me that the main problem is the timing of your DD's sleep, not to mention the DH's...

When telling your MIL to mind her own business, keep in mind that she's most likely speaking out of love and concern, and ignorance of the healthiness and normalcy of breastfeeding. That's a toughie.

 

[sohj]

At the risk of sound dismissive, everything is a phase.

Listen, between you and me and everyone else who looks at this thread, my husband's business has really fallen off since the little one arrived. First of all, I had a LOT of really painful issues after the birth. (The doctor at the hospital, where I ended up after the midwife decided to abandon me after I was already in labor, did an episiotomy w/o permission and WITH me screaming "no" that tore massively and she ended up sewing my anus nearly shut. It took months for the problem to be indentified and then corrected.) He had to do a lot for both of us then. And there have been other issues, too complicated to go into here.

We even have a babysitter for 40 hours a week. But, he spends a huge amount of time with the pixie. More than I do. (I still spend lots of hours when not at work in physical therapy or the osteopath's or reflexology.) He did resent this for a while, then when he started really seeing all the developments, he realized how quickly all this passes. And how much he really liked being with him. And how little time there really is for this.

Hope this doesn't make things worse. Just a little story from my side of the fence.

 

[maman_d'alex]

You know, it really irks me that people think the solution is weaning... as if that would solve the sleeping problem? No, it won't. It will make it more difficult for her to nap both with you and with your dh. BTw, my dh does this too sometimes... well, he won't be comforted without nursing, maybe we should wean? And I just don't get it-- then it will just make it harder for either of us to comfort him! Once when ds was 7 months old, he started refusing bottles of EBM, and someone said-- well, maybe you should wean him? I was like, yes, because if I wean him, he will suddenly begin to like bottles?

And 15 months with 5-6 words-- that is not a developmental delay! Hello! Your child is doing awesome!

Around 15 months is when me ds (now 18 months) switched from 2 naps to one. Everything got all screwy around then for his naps, but eventually it worked itself out. We still have to be pretty flexible.

Just hang in there! Whatever else, you are doing the right thing. Weaning will solve NADA!

 

[Mommy To Baby Roni]

Quote:

You know, it really irks me that people think the solution is weaning... as if that would solve the sleeping problem?

Ditto. I'm a SAHM, DH works, and we've been through much of the same issues as yourself. First of all, naps end up all over the map. Tell DH to chill out & deal with it. Secondly, though he's a sahd, it doesn't sound like he's very comfortable being alone to care for DD, which is not unusual for dads. I think that half the problem with the recent interview trip was that DD was not in her environment & stressed out. Thirdly, I betcha anything that after about a minute of refusing DD the ability to nurse that DH will be begging you to nurse DD to stop her crying. Lastly, just yes your mil to death and let her know you appreciate her concern (as much as you may disagree with it). It's not worth the battle.

Fourthly, congratulations on making it this long with working to boot! I thought the first few months after the 1-yr mark were pretty difficult. Glad to see your still wanting to nurse!

A little background of where my opinions are coming from...DD is 19 mos. & we're still nursing strong. DH was REALLY wanting me to wean at 1 year. He didn't know there were continuing nutritional benefits and didn't understand the emotional benefits. We agreed to take the future one step at a time and he agreed to be supportive of ebf through the winter (antibody protection) and we would re-address things in April. He never mentioned it until yesterday, when he said he doesn't think DD is emotionally ready to wean.

Just remember that your DH can't see things the way you do as a mother. Good luck!

 

[schatz]

Hey Nate,

I hope the dr appt went ok. Hopefully the doc and dh didn't gang up on you. I'm still nursing my dd (17.5 months) and working full-time. Dd isn't night-weaned yet either but she typically wakes once or twice. Dh cares for her while I'm at work and she usually naps twice for 45 min up to two hours. It sounds like your dd is going through a bunch of developmental milestones and either the not napping thing will just pass on its own or your dh will have to actively work with your dd to find ways to get her to sleep. We actually still walk around the house holding dd until she falls asleep for naps. Occasionally she'll fall asleep while nursing for a nap or dh will lay down on the couch with her on his chest and she'll fall asleep but usually it's the walking that does it. Then we lay her down on the couch or the bed after she's been asleep about 10 minutes.

I'm getting ready to go out of town on Sunday for the 5th time since dd was born (the first time was when dd was 9 months). We were a little nervous about the overnights on the first trip but luckily dd did great. DH just brought 3 bottles of ebm to bed with him, gave dd one each time she woke up and she went back to sleep. Only once did she have a crying jag that took some time to work through. I guess her age for that first trip out of town made it easier. I'm actually still pumping for her because of this next trip but I plan to stop when I return (we'll still bf when I'm at home).

I suspect that your dh had a harder time with your dd at night than mine did because she's older than my dd was and your dd conciously knows that you are not there. Also, maybe you've stopped pumping so there wasn't any milk either (not sure about this). Maybe if you will have to go out of town overnight again, you could have your dh comfort your dd once or twice a night instead of nursing her for a week or so before you go. That way she gets used to your dh in the middle of the night but you wouldn't completely night wean.

I did experience some pressure from dh to wean a couple of months ago but then things happen where he realizes it's still such a good thing that's he's stopped pressuring (like in April when dd got rotavirus and the only thing that kept her hydrated was mama milk).

Sorry I don't have more advice but hang in there! Stick to your guns and don't wean if you and your dd aren't ready.

 

[kerc]

you are doing a great job! nursing, working, trying to be creative about how it all can work out for your family.

my dd is 19 months. i wohm ~40 hrs per week with an occasional overnight. DD is in daycare 20 hrs per week.

i didn't read all of the above posts, but I don't think weaning is going to solve all the problems.

It sounds like maybe things were harder for dd/dh because they weren't home? Maybe dh needs some "me" time -- a babysitter a few hours a week so he can get some work done?

Sleep has always been an issue for us. Always. But around about 15-16 months when she dropped to one nap it got easier somehow. Also dd was not saying 5-6 words at your daughter's age. More like 1 word. She's now talking up a storm at 19 months. They just kinda work on these things at their own pace.

One thing that REALLY helped me when dd wouldn't nap and I needed a break from playing in the late afternoon is we got into a routine of going skiing (baby in sled behind me xc skiing) every afternoon around the same time - 4 pm ish. If she happens to be at daycare all day she still either needs a nap or some serious down time. Now that the glaciers have melted we;ve been either walking or running with a jogger most afternoons around about 4ish. She gets a little break, I get some exercise. I also sometimes either do a sling or a backpack if we're taking the dog along and going through the mud bogs near here.

I went out of town two weeks ago and the first day dh didn't believe me that she needed some down time and she was in tears for him. The second day around the same time he loaded her into the jogger and went for a run and she was much more relaxed.

 

[Nate]

Thanks, everyone...

Quote:

You know, it really irks me that people think the solution is weaning... as if that would solve the sleeping problem? No, it won't. It will make it more difficult for her to nap both with you and with your dh. BTw, my dh does this too sometimes... well, he won't be comforted without nursing, maybe we should wean? And I just don't get it-- then it will just make it harder for either of us to comfort him!

Amen. But it's an easy thing to latch (hah) onto as the problem.

update: So, btwn me getting home & walking into the dr's office we had the weaning talk. DH: I really need her to sleep, and I need you to be open-minded about weaning (etc., etc.) Me: I don't think that'll solve it, I think we need to create a sleep plan & get you more involved in bedtime rituals, let's try other things first b/c there's no going back from weaning, it could just create a whole new set of problems, etc. And the metaphor I'm most proud of: "saying that she won't sleep w/o bf'ing and so we should wean her b/c is like saying that we have an ant problem b/c she throws her food on the floor, and so we should stop feeding her." He laughed about that one, but didn't agree.

We do have the name of a babysitter, and I made the initial contact, but told dh that he should contact her to set up a time since he's the one home, and he still hasn't done it--that was 2 weeks ago. He says it's too hard for him to make phone calls w/ Clara awake. During the weaning talk I told him he should call the babysitter and set up a few shifts w/ her to give himself a break, and he said that that would alleviate the problem, not solve it.

So we had a big talk w/ the doctor about sleep issues (and all else), and I have to say, I love this woman. I'm about ready to send her a thank-you note. She said that she doesn't think weaning is the answer (of course, Clara was attached to me at that moment, so I think she probably realized that Clara's not ready for it). But she said that we need to get Clara back into her own bed & realizing that yes, it's possible to sleep w/o mama--and I think she's right in this case. I love co-sleeping, but I think it's exacerbating some tendencies & turning them into problems, and these are things that are affecting my marriage.

And she said we need to create a sleep plan and make sure we're on the same page, etc. Basically all things that I've been saying to dh, but he listened to her. Whatever.

Oh, and also that what we need to do in the morning is get her up when we get up (which she does anyway) and then just run her ragged all morning & wear her out. Which I've also been saying. And I think he knows this intellectually, but he's not getting enough sleep so doesn't have the energy to wear her down that much. AND he's shy and a homebody, so I think is often reluctant to go to play groups.

: ahead: We've got a great children's museum here--basically just a giant play house--and if I were home w/ her I'd probably be there twice a week, but he has yet to go with her, b/c he doesn't like going downtown.

The doctor also said Clara is on track developmentally--she's still in the same % iles she was at 9 months, so she's growing well, her language is fine, she's maybe on the late side for walking but she's got well developed muscles & she clearly is working on it. Here's something I didn't know--they really look for the language to start developing at and after 18 months, and at 2 y.o. we generally have 50% comprehension of their language.

So, last night I gave her a bath and got her changed for bed, then dh came in and read to her until she started whining for me, then I nursed her down. But she WOULD NOT release the nipple--and when she finally just let go of it b/c she was so asleep, and I started to shift her around so that I could put her into bed, she woke and started aggressively looking for it. So--and please, no flames, this was a hard decision--I put her in her crib, said good night, and left.

: And it was horrible, for an entire hour. But I really think we're at crisis point here. DH really needs a break, and I feel like my back is against the wall and my choices are either wean or CIO. She did sleep well after that, until 3 which is when she came in w/ us.

After she was asleep I called my mom & sobbed. Mom suggested that I offer to go ahead & call the babysitter and set up the first time. So I asked dh if he wanted me to last night, and he said no, he'd call her today, but then this morning he said if I wanted to call her that'd be fine. Hopefully that'll help.

Of course, then he stayed up until 1 so was exhausted this morning.

As I said above, I think there's a lot more than just the sleep issues going on, and I actually think we could use a few counselling sessions, but I wanted to get past the "we should wean" period b/f we got into that, b/c I had this fear of a counsellor agreeing w/ him. And honestly, if I weaned her right now I would resent it & him for a LONG time. I think whenever I saw an older child nurse, or talked to any of my friends w/ nursing toddlers, I would cry, and I'm not sure when that would end...

Thank you for all your support & words of encouragement. I know CIO is beyond the pale for most of you, but we really needed to do something quickly.

Well, I've spent the past hour writing this, so should probably do some actual work...

 

[Nate]

More thoughts...

I almost wish dd would get really sick so that dh & everyone else would realize how good it is that we're **** bf'ing. She's had one bad cold & a few runny noses, and that's it. But then we'd probably get the "why bf if she's getting sick anyway?" rationale...

You know, if MIL would just talk to ME straight I'd be able to answer her and hopefully put some of her fears to rest. But b/c of her own relationship w/ her own MIL, she doesn't want to be pushy etc., so just talks to dh, and of course they have 35 yrs of him feeling like he's held to a different standard than his 3 sisters, so it ends up being about much more than our dd. (E.g., DH: "Do you worry about E's [oldest sis] kids the way you worry about Clara? " MIL: "Know, but she's always been so compulsive about getting professional help for them." Yes, COMPULSIVE! Aiggh!

I think when we're next there, if I'm still getting weird vibes, I'll just have to approach her & ask her if she has any questions so I can talk to her about why we do things the way we do. The most she brings it up w/ me is sort of indirectly: "What's she eating these days?" I list dd's diet, then: "No protein?" Well, actually yogurt has lots of protein, as does bm, and she eats lots of legumes, just isn't crazy about meat... but that doesn't seem to do it.

What bothers me most about things w/ mil is that she looks at Clara, and instead of seeing a sparkling personality, infectious smile, etc., she sees a malnourished child. But dh reminds me that she's been depressed for a long time and isn't seeing anyone or taking anything, and excessive worrying/anxiety is one manifestation of depression. BTW, dd is 20% for weight, 75% height, 95% head, and has been since 9 months. Sigh...

okay, venting temporarily over...

 

[Nate]

One more thing to share...

So, while dh was trying to get dd to sleep on Sunday, mil was also trying to help & was holding dd--and suddenly dd started lifting mil's shirt and trying VERY HARD to nurse from her. MIL apparently said "I'm just frustrating her" and handed her back & left. Apparently this is what made dh start thinking it'd be easier if we weaned.

He told our dr. about this (not about MIL's reaction), and she started laughing REALLY hard. She apologized for laughing, but I was glad she did--it IS really funny (as long as you're not the one who's dealing w/ it at the time...)

 

[sohj]

I'd like to be there to give you a pat on the back in sympathy.

I can't say I think you did the right thing, though I have no interest in flaming you. I am not clear on how consistently you co-sleep, but if this was both the first time she slept in her crib at night AND cried, I think it must have been very difficult for both of you.

I think you have a great idea in the counselling idea. You have been extremely active in giving him ideas in how to improve matters, but he seems to be wedded to finding impediments. And you are wedded to finding solutions. It sounds a lot like my marriage. And have found my marriage frustrating because of that. We have been going to counselling for a while now.

If you go ahead with the counselling, YOU WILL NEED A BABYSITTER. Don't ask the MIL. Not worth it.

also, consider that you should go into it fairly open-ended. Don't assume it will just be "a few sessions". You might want to check out a couple of threads I posted several months ago about my counselling: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ad.php?t=62140 (the 1st one); http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ad.php?t=74823 ; & http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ad.php?t=72981

Edited to add: I've come back and looked at your additional posts twice. I'm hearing LOTS of stuff. I would love to talk with you about all of them, but I'm afraid I haven't been following every post you've been making on the boards so I'm worried about going off on a useless tangent.

FWIW, she doesn't sound malnourished. My pixie is CONSISTENTLY below the 5th percentile for weight but, hey, he's healthy. No worries here. In fact, I questioned the paed. on where those damn curves were derived and it turns out it is some town in Wisconsin in the early 90's. No allowance for genetic types, breastfeeding, or anything else.

Just a blunt, bald statement: it sounds like what is going on with your daughter is not the cause of the problems, it is just that the problems are being played out via your daughter. Gotta come to agreement on some basic things and then leave her out of it.

Sending a little

your way.

 

[Pelgie]

I'm still nursing my 19 month old son and thankfully my husband can see how important this is for all of us. I'm lucky he's supportive. However, we have had our frustrating times with co-sleeping. I think for husbands sometimes its that they go from being the center of attention to a sidelined person. Attachment parenting can make them feel even more so, I believe. Of course, I believe the sacrifice is worth it.

My own mother breastfed me and my two sisters back in the 70s when bf was less popular than it is today- so she is an avid supporter. However, my MIL didn't breastfeed at all and neither did any of my husband's siblings with their kids. None of them seems to understand bf and dumb comments are made occasionally. I like to counter with facts. One of my favorites is, "Did you know that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children be breastfed for at least their first year and say its the lucky child who can be breastfed until he/she is at least 2". This usually shuts them up. But, there are many others out there on bf benefits for mothers and babies. I'd recommend checking out La Leche's League's website where there are lots of facts and Q&As available.

I'm also not so sure I recommend stopping the co-sleeping if you and dd aren't ready for it. What works for us is I nurse ds down around 8 pm and put him in his crib which is in our room. Then I hang out with hubby until around 10. Sometimes we "get cozy" in the guest bedroom. When I go to bed around 10 I move ds into our bed. He'd probably sleep in his crib longer but I sleep better with him with us and he does roll around an check for us as part of his sleep routine. It was a tough transition for dh in the beginning but now he's a fan of the co-sleeping too and even talks about when/if we have a second child (we are trying soon) we'll probably have 2 monkeys in our bed.

I work outside the home and dh stays home with ds. This did create challenges early on since ds refused to take a bottle of pumped milk when I went back to work after maternity leave. Dh tried feeding him it every day but he never would take it. Luckily, I worked 1 mile away and would come home on my lunch break to feed him. He'd wait the 4 1/2 hours between feedings rather than take the bottle. So, here he is 19 months and never had a drop of formula which I'm proud of. But I digress. DH did find ways to get him to go to sleep like driving in the car or walking him around in baby bjorn. Routine is important too.

At one point I needed to go on an out of town job interview too. This interview was a 3 hour plane ride away so I mentioned that I'd need to make my own flight arrangements so I could buy dh's ticket and bring ds as lap baby. Those nice people offered to buy dh's ticket too. DH and DS hung out around the hotel and nursed when I got breaks in my interviewing schedule. I decided before interviewing that I would only take the role if it allowed for work/family balance, lunches long enough to run home and nurse ds and was a location I could live within 10 minutes of. I took a big pay cut to take the role but it got me close to my parents and siblings and involved 0% travel. Life is full of tradeoffs and family friendly jobs are worth taking.

OK, enough from me. Hang in there. More later. Hubby wants me to come hang out with him.

 

[PM]

Ok, my friend, you definitely need some support.

Sorry, but it was very insensitive of Andrea to say that to you. I realize she wanted to help, but there's a time when people need to just shut their traps!

I'll email you other thoughts. I am seeing from many of the things you write here that you are under some major stress.

 

[captain optimism]

Wow, this thread could have been about us, I wish I had seen it sooner. Same deal, mom WOHM (well, until I lost my job a month and a half ago) dad SAH and having trouble getting the baby down for naps. Also the same thing about the feeding solids issue. Also the same number of words and same with walking--slow progress. (Though my dh and his sibs all walked on the late side, his oldest sister very very late, so my MIL was not on our case. My mom was.)

We almost did the CIO thing as well, for a naptime. We couldn't do it though. I am so so sorry sweetie, that sounds so rough for you. I totally understand why you decided to CIO rather than wean, what a terrible choice to have to make.

.

When I lost my job, we started nursing a lot more! My dh got worried that he wouldn't be able to do the naps. At this age they are often about to go over to one nap a day. So we did that. Instead of a morning nap at 11 when he wasn't tired enough and another at 3 PM when he was crazy tired, we started doing the nap after lunch about 12:30. Also, and this was because of my noodging, we started taking him to the park to play in the morning instead of trying to play in the house.

Also, since I'm at home, dh was worried he would train himself to wake up and demand to nurse after an hour. So dh went in to get him if he woke up, and took him outside. Going outside mellows him out. Once he has been awake and mellow, if he still wants to nurse, we do. This has been working really well the last two and half weeks. Not only does he nap better, but he is going longer at night without needing to nurse.

Now the food thing is getting to me. I decided, if the baby will eat three meals a day and two snacks, and he wants to nurse, let him nurse. No reason to limit him if he is eating enough. I didn't know that he was supposed to be having two snacks until we saw the ped. So we are offering snacks, and he can eat them or not as he chooses. He still wants to nurse a lot. Every time I go for a job interview, he wants to nurse extra as soon as I get back. It's going to be very hard to go back to work.

At least one of the grandparents of every new baby has to be a nudnik like your MIL. For me, it's my mom. Well, my MIL too. Also my grandmother. My dad has been, thank God, pretty mellow about the whole thing, and supportive. My mom thinks we shouldn't nurse so long, and that I need to push the baby to develop faster. My MIL thinks we should use a playpen so we can clean the house more. My grandmother says "He's not a baby anymore, he's a little boy!" which I guess means she thinks it's weird we are still nursing, but mainly she is pretty positive because she is crazy about the baby. What can you do? All over the board it's the same story. We all have parents or in-laws or grandparents who want to boss us around and they always find something wrong with what we are doing. You have to work out your relationships with them, and not make parenting decisions based on what they say. Really, even if they were great parents, we have to make our own decisions based on current information and our own individual children.

 

[FitMama]

I have read this thread with great interest. I am still nursing my 15mo, and I work full time (+ a couple hours a week teaching aerobics.) and DS has also never had a single drop of formula. It's a great feeling, isn't it? So yay you! You have really hung in there for your little one, and it's too bad that so many people are suggesting weaning to you. They suggest it to me too, and I just shine 'em on.

I shine it because I KNOW this is such a short--too short!--time in my baby's life. Gosh he seems less like a baby every day, what with all the toddling and babbling (and hey 5-6 words sounds perfectly normal to me...DS has 2, maybe 3, and they're all "ma" LOL).

So I have no advice for you, just SUPPORT. Follow your heart.

 

[excitedtobeamom]

My DD is 8 months and all I can say is go with your gut. Try and talk things out with DH. Good luck!

 

[kama'aina mama]

Oh Nate... well you know I am a big fan of long term breastfeeding!

If I scandalized your DH and your mum they hid it well, BTW.

I agree with so much of what has been said here. Your sister may be right about one thing: You are reflexively saying "no" to weaning because breastfeeding is still an important priority to you. It is more important to you then being available to your boss until 8pm. More important than being able to travel alone and easily for business. Everything you have posted here screams "Breastfeeding is VERY important to my daughter and me, but maybe all these people who want to take it away from us are right???" And to that I say bullshit. You are right. It IS still important. To you, to her, and I bet sometimes to your husband as well. Yes, your family is having some sleep issues... but I fail to see any way in which weaning her will solve any of them.