[mamalisa]

Dh was telling me a story about a conversation he had at work and I'd like honest opinions.

One of the other managers just moved to WI with his wife and new baby. He said that his wife met a mom at McDonald's and they hit it off. His wife invited the other mom to dinner where the other mom revealed that she was nursing her 2 year old. So the guy is telling dh this story with a "can you believe it" sort of tone. Dh's response was, "well, my wife is like that too."

First of all, did I make the decision to EN alone? No. Do dh and I partner on most parenting decisions? Yes.

I feel like he put me out there to be a freak by not taking ownership and saying something like, "we believe in child led weaning" or something like that. He's not as passionate about breastfeeding as I am, though he supports it 100%, you just couldn't facts or stats from him, he would tell you to talk to me. But he always tells guys he knows to make sure their wives bf and tells them to call me if they need help or resources.

So, am I taking it personally or reading too much into it?

 

[JohnnysGirl]

Just tell him straight up that you want him to verbally explain your EN and any other parenting decision that you've made together as a decision the both of you made. Of course, you guys don't need to be justifying anything to anyone in the first place, but tell him if he does choose to comment on some parenting style you practice, tell him that he should phrase it, 'We decided to....' I don't think it's too much to ask. Sorry he made you feel alone on this big and important issue.

 

[Rainbow]

I would tell him to. That would hurt my feelings because DH is one of the biggest advocates of me EN at home. When I feel like I can't tandem nurse any longer (15 months now) he is the one that says I shouldn't wean. if he were to put me out there as the strange one- it would hurt me.

However, kudos to him for admitting you still nurse. Many people (men and women) have ahard time saying "I DO THAT!" when faced with a similar situation. Your DH just got the message across to another person that EN is more common than they think.

 

[SamuraiEarthMama]

i'd be proud of him! he put himself out to potential ridicule in order to show that EB isn't as odd as the speaker thought.

my ex really didn't care.

remember, he's a guy. it's not easy for them to even talk about "women's stuff." it sounds like he's proud of you, and wants to do the right thing. maybe you're not so happy about his phrasing or timing, but at least he did mention it.

don't give him back feedback on this, or he'll shut up next time (and not tell you). you want to give him positive reinforcement on this kind of thing!

katje

 

[mountain]

That's what I was thinking Rainbow, that at least he got it out there that you believed in that. Do you think he was trying to exclude himself

Do you think he was adding to the 'freak show' with, yeah I know someone like that too

: ? Or, was he pointing out that there are other people who do such said thing and are still humans.

If my dh said that, it would probably be in the tone of, 'yeah, so does she, so what?' Either way, the message is out there that multiple people are EBing & that's better than one!!!! It would be nicer if he sounded more involved in the decision tho'--but sometimes the mainstream people are so shocked that's it's tough to find the right thing to say...I personally try to BF my almost 3 yo in front on anyone I think might be uptight about it

Can we just add, mamalisa, you ROCK

for giving your 2yo the best you possibly can

 

[mamalisa]

He also said something like, "you'll see that a lot up here (meaning Madison)" so I guess in his own way he was giving a thumbs up. Madison seems pretty crunchy, I wish we would have moved there rather than here. Maybe I'm just being oversensitive.

Actually, ds nursed for 3 years and 4 months!! He self weaned when I got really sick this spring

SamuraiEarthMama, I think you're right, I'll leave it alone. Looking back with a little more perspective, he did well!