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Discussion Starter #1
yep, it's a blatant plea for "you are doing right by your baby, mama" so I can drown out all the people who say I am spoiling my baby.<br><br>
DS1 was a horrible sleeper as an infant, didn't sleep through the night for the first time until ten months and then didn't do it regularly until 16 mos or so. Now, at 2.5, he's a great sleeper, so that's good.<br><br>
Enter DS2 - he started out ok, but is following in his brother's footsteps. He has been sleeping in our room, part of the night in his cosleeper, and part in the bed with us. We did not plan to cosleep for an extended time, but at this point we just want some sleep.<br><br>
Now, for the last several nights, he's basically up (in our bed) from 2 am on. It's maddening. He will nurse part of the time, but he just doesn't seem to want to sleep.<br><br>
He needs more sleep than he's getting. He's not napping well during the day either.<br><br>
I won't let him cry, I just won't. He only wants to sleep in my arms, which is difficult (during the day) when you've got an active toddler. I am just trying to gently parent him all day and all night long, to get him the sleep he desperately needs, but I need some too. I'd happily let him sleep in my arms all night if that's what he needs, but now these last few nights, he won't do that either.<br><br>
What do I do? My mom and sister say it's my fault because I "spoil" them...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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Hi Bliss,<br><br>
Let me be the first in the chorus to say your children aren't spoiled and you are not to blame for the fact that your baby is not sleeping well at night.<br><br>
First, your older son seems to be doing extremely well in the sleep department--I'm very impressed that he slept through the night so early! Clearly, that worked out just fine.<br><br>
As for what is going on with #2, it's hard to say. Is he about 4 or 5 months now? Could he be having early teething or something like that? In my experience, whatever it is it will probably blow over. It's unlikely that your baby will be awake from 2 am on for a long time. And anyway at this age, it's wayyyy to early to even consider any kind of sleep training.<br><br>
Hang in there, and tune out the neigh-sayers.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Actually is he IS a little over four months, and drooling like a fiend...maybe he will get some teeth early (well, early to me, his brother didn't get any until like eight months.)<br><br>
Thanks so much - it was just what I needed to hear. I am just so tired...
 

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it's probably just a phase Bliss, he will go back to sleeping. is there any way you could let him play for a little while (20 minutes?) in a bouncer seat or something while you snooze and then try and bring him back to sleep? do you have one of those gymini playmat things or a mirror he could stare at for a while?<br><br>
it is definitely NOT because you spoil him. no baby ever rotted with love <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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((hugs)) Dont you just wish we could read their little minds and figure out what's going on? It could be teething, a new developmental stage, etc, etc. Hopefully it passes quickly so you can get some sleep too mama, thats tough! I'm sure that he's not spoiled or trying to control you or anything like people might try and tell you, he just cant tell you whats going on. Will he sleep in a swing or in his carseat? How about a baby carrier so he can nap on you during the day? Good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions...it really does help. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
He hates his car seat, so that's a no-go. I do wear him A LOT during the day, and he does sleep well that way, but it's just physically difficult at time (and going to start getting warm...) - I think I have to get over my fear of back carries and that will help.<br><br>
Just in the last two days I have gotten him to take some decent naps in the swing, and I don't care what the "experts" say about not developing that habit - if he's getting sleep, it's a good thing. But I am really uncomfortable about having him in anything other than his bed or my arms when I am sleeping...I don't know why, it's weird.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>BlissP</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7923368"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">DS1 was a horrible sleeper as an infant, didn't sleep through the night for the first time until ten months and then didn't do it regularly until 16 mos or so. :</div>
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To me that's a good sleeper!<br><br>
I agree that your LO is just going through something right now. The 4 month sleep regression is observed in BF and FF babies. It has nothing to do with you. Just let him be himself and he'll pull through.
 

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Sounds totally normal to me!!<br><br>
Plus, when people would say that crap to me I'd:<br>
1) add them to my mental "Umhmmm...no more information for YOU!" list, and<br>
2) respond: "That's right, they ARE spoiled...why else would you have kids if you're not going to spoil them?" to which no one (in 9 yrs of saying this) has anyone EVER had a response other than a blank look.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
You all are wonderful.<br><br>
So tell me, when other mamas tell me that their children have been "sleeping through the night" since they were six weeks old and whatnot...are they full of it, or are they just letting their poor babes cry? I KNOW I shouldn't compare myself (or my kids) to others, and I really try not to, but I am curious.....
 

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I think most of them are full of it. They may be going by the "technical" definition of sleeping through the night (one 6 hour stretch) while leading you to believe it is 8pm-8am.<br><br>
I know some people do let babes that age cry <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> but I think even the majority of CIO people wait till 5-6 months to start that.<br><br>
and maybe they just have selective memory. maybe their baby slept through the night ONCE at 6 weeks <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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Try sleeping with him on your chest at night - sometimes its the only way DS will fall asleep for me. If your unable to sleep like that, once he's asleep try rolling onto your side, so that he's still up against you - more than likely he'll stay asleep perfectly happily. As long as my DS can feel me at night, he sleeps good - but if I move away he *will* wake up within 30 minutes!!
 

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First of all <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> ! I totally understand what your going through. My dd is just a little younger then you LO and there are just some nights when we don't get much sleep. Thankfully my ds sleeps through all that. I sleep with dd basically waking up to nurse every couple hours and all I do is wake up enough to get the boob in her mouth or change sides. It's the only way I get sleep. In the beginning weeks we slept sitting up in my dads recliner. I don't know if sitting while sleeping is an option but you could put your little one in a wrap and sleep that way. As long as your someone who doesn't move a lot in your sleep. I don't know if there's a safety issue with that or not so someone correct me if I'm giving bad info. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
As for those who say there kids sleep through the night. Either they are super deep sleepers or they have selective memory.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Cause I don't buy it. I think I would worry if my 3 month old slept from 9pm to even 5 am. but on the other hand love it when my 2 yo does it<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
I agree it's most likely a stage- be strong aswell as gentle with your self- your a great mom doing the best you can!
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>BlissP</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7923441"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Actually is he IS a little over four months, and drooling like a fiend...maybe he will get some teeth early (well, early to me, his brother didn't get any until like eight months.)<br><br>
Thanks so much - it was just what I needed to hear. I am just so tired...</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nod.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nod"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I tell you, Starbucks has made more money off me once I had kids then they ever dreamed of before!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> Tired is just how I operate now. I feel weird when I'm rested. (twice a year or whathaveyou)<br><br>
We know how you feel... don't talk to other people. It's just not worth it.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
i did wonder about sleeping with him in the wrap...we don't have a recliner, but what if I was propped up on pillows? I don't move much in my sleep, especially when I have DS with me.
 

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My dh has spent numerous nights propped up in a chair with pillows with ds2 on his chest...the baby sleeps beautifully this way and dh manages to get some sleep. We do this from time to time if I need a decent stretch of sleep to save my sanity.<br><br>
You are doing a beautiful job and in NO way spoiling your children. And it is very, very normal for babies to wake frequently...as maddening as it can be. I always try to remind myself during the really trying times that it will pass...it always does. And keep looking at your ds1 to remind yourself that not long from now you will have 2 sleeping children!<br><br>
As to other babies sleeping through the night...who knows. I find it very surprising but I know it happens. Some people are blessed with good sleepers, but I think they are the exception.<br><br>
Hang in there! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 
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