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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
One of my 16 month old twin girls has been nipping me lately. She hasn't nipped anyone else, and I felt inside her mouth and she does have two giant molars coming in so I imagine her urge to bite down on things is strong.<br><br>
The thing is, I can't have her biting me. I get anxious every time she comes near me! Yesterday she bit me on the end of my breast (I'm not breastfeeding them) and that really hurt. Today she bit me on my stomach.<br><br>
Well, this last time she bit me I was firm. It hurt! So I said:<br><br>
"Ouch! No bite, Reagan! No bite!" I didn't yell at her, I was just firm with her.<br><br>
Well, her face puckered up and she started screaming. I hugged her and told her I still love her, but no bite. No bite. She stopped screaming when I hugged her, but did I ruin the lesson here? I just want her to stop biting me.<br><br>
Thanks for any advice here. My instincts told me to comfort her when she's crying but I don't want to send mixed signals either. I really want her to know that she can't be biting anyone. I'd rather she bite me than anyone else... but I'd REALLY rather she not bite ANYONE!<br><br>
Her twin has never bit ever.
 

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There is a great little book called "No Biting" by Karen Katz- it is appropriate for 16 month olds - it has other little rules in it too. Biting is really common- but I know what you mean- you don't want her to do it. I think how you handled it is fine- that is what I would do. In the meantime, provide her with lots of crunchy snacks and crushed ice for her to feel her need to bite down on things b/c of her teething.<br><br>
Good luck- it is a phase that will pass (quickly I hope).
 

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As far as the biting, keep it matter of fact. I assume you're giving her something else to bite? "You may not bite me, you may bite...". Repeat repeat repeat. There is no such thing as "discipline" for kids this age, they don't give a crap about anyone else or their reasons. Your only hope is to figure out what need she's trying to meet, and meet it another way. Does she just need to bite, is she trying to get your attention?<br><br>
Are you also asking if you shouldnt have hugged her after telling her not to bite? No! Always hug, if she likes it (I add that because some kids don't). There is no mixed message. All that tells her is you like her and want to be connected. IME, some points are made more effectively if they're made during a moment of connection.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks both of you!<br><br>
I'm looking for any and all tips to help! I think she's just biting out of an urge to bite, and I'm going to remember to always hand her something she can bite. That's a great idea that I don't typically think of to do in the moment.<br><br>
I gave them both some crunchy snacks and the ice is a good idea too.<br><br>
Thanks again!
 

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I agree about hugging them when they get upset over something like this. I do it all the time when I am emphatic about a bite or hit or whatever. They know I love them, I just don't want that particular behavior. The messages both get across successfully.
 

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My DD has gotten very aggressive lately, kicking, hitting (not so hard, but still, annoying and aggressive) and finally, her first bite. I've been getting frustrated, and know I haven't been handling it well - even though I'm doing things I think are ok - saying "mommy doesn't like being kicked" and moving away temporarily, etc. - it just keeps going and going and ends up feeling like a power struggle, at least on my side!<br><br>
I don't know if it'll be the final answer, but this worked tonight - it was the first time I thought to ask her for what I did want, "gentle touches," just like I coach her when she's petting the neighbor's cat or friend's baby.<br><br>
Maybe it was just a fluke, but she calmed down tonight - none of the power struggle!
 
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