[JennaW]

So my Mom brought up very casually on the phone today that my Dad told her earlier in the week that he thinks he might have a drinking problem and he wanted them to stop drinking.

So they have stopped drinking. The thing is that my Dad is a very cautious person and I think this might be more of the type of situation where he realized "Wow, I drink a lot, maybe this is a problem?" rather then drinking at inappropriate times, binge drinking or being sneaky with alcohol. The fact of the matter is that my folks do drink "a lot", in the evenings when they get home from work they start have drinks and pretty much keep refilling their glasses until they are about to go to bed. So, I am happy to see them stop. It's not like they would get drunk and belligerent but that much alcohol isn't good for you.

Anyway, I am looking for advice on how to be supportive when/if my Dad wants to talk about it. I want to know the "right" things to say. I would think in a community like MDC there has to be some recovering alcoholic Mamas and Dads or people with intimate experience.

Thanks.

 

[Porcelain Interior]

Well I don't drink because of alcoholic parents/grandparents/great grandparents/siblings/cousins....

My dad stopped drinking 7 years ago. All I did was tell him I was proud that he was getting healthier. He also would tell me he was so sorry in how he'd acted, and how sorry he was that time had slipped by and he wasted so much of it, so I would just always be very forgiving and supportive.

I don't think there's a right or wrong thing to say. Mostly just being there for the person and supporting their choice.

Also listening if he wants to talk.

 

[JennaW]

Thanks. I guess the thing that is a little "weird" about this situation is that its not like "time has slipped away" or he hasn't been a present, loving parent and grandparent. He has just decided that he thinks the amount he drinks, is too much. Is this making sense?

Thanks for the reminders on listening and being supportive, always good advice

 

[JennaW]

Oh and I was thinking about stopping drinking myself for a period of time with him. I really don't drink that much, maybe a glass of wine out to dinner every once and a while but since I am nursing and just in general I don't drink much.

Do you think this would be a good supportive thing to do or just be awkward?

 

[Porcelain Interior]

Well if you don't drink around him it really won't make any difference.

I think it's great and I'd just play it by ear. It sounds like they just realized a pattern had developed and it wasn't healthy.

I think it's great and I'd just continue being caring like usual.

 

[pokeyrin]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JennaW Oh and I was thinking about stopping drinking myself for a period of time with him. I really don't drink that much, maybe a glass of wine out to dinner every once and a while but since I am nursing and just in general I don't drink much. Do you think this would be a good supportive thing to do or just be awkward?

Personally I think it's a great and very thoughtful idea!

You're just getting on the get healthy bandwagon with your parents

I've had plenty of experience with family and friends when it comes to addictions and IMHO you don't have to be a hardcore alcholic to have a drinking issue. Sometimes it could be considered a soft addiction where what you're doing really seems harmless, but in reality it still takes something away from what you could be doing, KWIM?

When DH and I were planning our wedding years ago we were stressed and every night we had a drink to "relax" and honestly there were better things we could do to relax. We caught on after awhile and just took a break from it and we noticed a change and difference physically and mentally. We ended up taking yoga classes and the benefits of that has far outweighed and outlasted having the "relaxing" drink.

Like you said alcoholic in excess is just bad for you and it taxes your body. My doc has a wish that every single patient of his would never have a single drop of alcohol ever again, he thinks it's just that bad with no real benefit for you in the long run. I even asked him about red wine which has proven benefits and he just said just live a healthy lifestyle and you don't need it.

When talking to your parents, just focus on the positives on not drinking and living a healthier lifestyle.