The best you can do is provide a structured schedule, and plan out her day. Make meals times generally the same every day; same with chore time, quiet time, craft time, or whatever.Thank you both for taking the time to answer and giving me advice and really yesterday I notice exactly what you tell me regarding the explanation she also takes it as a "me time" and is not actually paying attention to what you are telling her I will sure make use of the mop the floor strategy. Regarding the coloring books and crafts I already tried I even told her one day on how she could start telling me a story through the drawings regarding a castle a princess and a dragon, that only worked for 5 minutes cause she had not even finish the activity and she was already thinking on switching to the next one. You have no idea how many toys she has and she doesn't play with them at all. In the past I even told her again with stories using the dolls and everything like "oh we are waiting for you let's go on a adventure" that didn't work. I know she is only 6 and I am educating myself good to know what it's up to her age and what not but I feel that even the most primary rules of discipline are completely unknown for her cause the boundaries are never set at her primary caretaker. She only spends a quarter of the year with us but when she does there is no rest at the house.
I don't understand. This is a child who doesn't live with you. How much time do you need "as a couple" while she is with you? I truly don't get this. I'm all for couples nurturing their relationships, but most of the time, you guys have zero kids living with you. What time does she go to bed? Most 6 year olds are in bed very early.if you don't give her all day attention she doesn't let you do anything neither respects the time her father and I need to have as a couple,
well like any normal couple we have to deal with a very busy weekly schedule sometimes we spent three nights a week were we don't see each other more than half an hour so those are also our weekends, she should go to bed at 8 but every time she comes over she starts complaining about pain of anything precisely at that hour so at the end she ends up in bed around 9:30 cause several times she comes downstairs crying and complaining. I have already set all her toys in order in her room and left a specific area for her to play with her puzzles and coloring books and I am sorry but I found the tone of your advice a bit aggressive "Also, while she is there, plan some times when you are out and Daddy and Daughter can have some time just the two of them. Go to lunch with a friend, or go get a mani pedi. Have your own life, not just around your bf" is that really the way of giving advice to someone? seems like I am the one to blame in this situation according to you? I do have a life except my bf in case you be interested.I don't understand. This is a child who doesn't live with you. How much time do you need "as a couple" while she is with you? I truly don't get this. I'm all for couples nurturing their relationships, but most of the time, you guys have zero kids living with you. What time does she go to bed? Most 6 year olds are in bed very early.
My advice is to involve her with the business of running your home, preparing meals, taking care of plants and animals, etc. This is very basic parenting advice. Rather than trying to keep her busy while you do what needs to be done, have her help you and teach her how to do things. This lets her get attention without being the center of attention.
Also, while she is there, plan some times when you are out and Daddy and Daughter can have some time just the two of them. Go to lunch with a friend, or go get a mani pedi. Have your own life, not just around your bf.
One of my parenting secrets when my kids were little was to make play dough with them. It's super easy, and kids really enjoy this. Then, they have new playdough, which is super fun. Put together a little kit for her with a rolling pen, cookie cutters, etc. This is a nice activity because you do something with the child, and then they are set up to do something on their own.
Also, put on kid friendly music. It helps set the tone for the space. When my kids were little, they were more settled with something like Raffi on in the background rather than the TV or adult music.
Too many toys makes it HARDER for kids to play, not easier. Organizer her space very neatly before she gets there -- since you has a lot of toys you may need to box a bunch of them up and just leave a few open ended ones that look inviting. Have a schedule and a routine. This is super important -- you can even write it down for her, and use simple pictures to help her understand it.
Stop blaming her mother for things. It doesn't matter. You don't control it. It is letting your mind focus on blaming rather than on trouble shooting the situation. Focus on the parts of this that you can control, and let go of the rest. ALL children do better in an organized space with a plan, and right now, you don't have either or those things (I can tell her toys aren't organized because you are focused on how many she has).
seems like I am the one to blame in this situation according to you? I do have a life except my bf in case you be interested.
Try to have a 5 minutes conversation with your partner after a long day of work with a 6 year old interrupting all the time to say "I saw a butterfly today" and see if you really wouldn't like some time for you and your partner?
I think your role in life as a father is to little by little addressed those issues and to get him ready for his of her life independently and that they be well balanced empathetic grown ups.