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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
and I hope I'm not crossing a line by posting here. I just couldn't see another board that would be a better choice! I need some input from experienced educators and support persons and was hoping for some help.<br><br>
I'm actually visiting from the diaper making and cloth diapering boards. We're, well, maybe I'm, going through a slight change of philosophies and doing research on more natural ways of doing things <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> The people I've met at MDC are amazing, and I'm learning SO much!<br><br>
I'll give you the story, then I have some questions. I think I'm just kind of overwhelmed right now and not really sure where to start.<br><br>
I'm 34 weeks pregnant with my third baby. My first two pregnancies were relatively normal, with long-lasting nausea, and typical doctors visits throughout. With both kids, by the end of my pregnancies, the doctor was concerned about the lack of growth in my uterus, and long story short, I was induced and hospital birthed both babies. I don't regret the births and think they were wonderful and satisfying.<br><br>
This pregnancy has been more complicated, and has a whole new set of issues. I've had hyperemesis since about six weeks along. Basically, just a couple days after we found out. I ended up having to get a PICC line because I was very dehydrated and dropping weight quickly. This is our second unplanned, though very welcome baby, even though I think I'm still in denial that it's actually happening. Since we didn't know when I'd conceived, and my cycle had been totally out of whack at the time (we had just moved and things were stressful) I had an early ultrasound and found that the placenta had attached itself on the lower front wall.<br><br>
At week 25, I started bleeding and went in to see the doctor. My brother had just gotten married earlier that week and I think I just pushed myself too hard. I thought I was having Braxton Hicks, but when I was on the fetal monitor, they were actually contractions. (You'd think that by my third child, I'd be able to tell what was real and what was not) They did an u/s at the hospital and found a mild placental abruption and diagnosed me with an irritable uterus. I was admitted into L & D overnight for observation, and then sent home to spend the next four weeks in bed. At almost 30 weeks, things were looking better, but still having contractions occasionally, and I was able to stop the bedrest, and just take it very easy.<br><br>
The part where things really get complicated is here. We live in UT, and my DH travels to work in AZ every week. He leaves early Monday morning, comes home late Thursday nights, and works from home on Fridays. We're still pretty new in the area, and though I know and trust my neighbors, I have no close girlfrends, though my mom, two brothers and sister live nearby.<br><br>
I'm now 34 weeks, and had an appointment with my CNM this morning. Because of the situation with DH, I'm getting increasingly anxious about going into labor. To be clear - I'm not afraid of childbirth, but it would break my heart if DH weren't there. It would take him anywhere from 8 to 12 hours to get home. I had an internal done, and I'm still high and tight, and the baby's looking great. I'll be going in weekly from now on, and probably have weekly internals. I'm not crazy about this, but the anxiety is getting to me.<br><br>
Basically, if the exam reveals that I'm progressing, we'll probably schedule an induction in the next couple days, in the hopes that DH will be home. Still, not my first choice, because I know that you can be dilated and still not have the baby for weeks. And, if nothing has happened by the middle of June, we'll probably schedule an induction for the 24th of June. I don't really want to have to do an induction, especially unnecessarily early, but I <i>need</i> to have DH there.<br><br>
Phew, well there's the story. I'm not comfortable with a medical induction, but I'm also too anxious about the long distance with DH. I don't even know where to go from here. Being hormotional is not helping me sort through this.<br><br>
I was hoping that someone might be able to suggest some good advice. I'm really worried about not being able to tell whether I'm having real contractions and such. I thought I could tell, but I didn't do so well last time. What if I labor at home for a while without knowing it and cut DH's possible travel time even shorter?<br><br>
Also, I was kind of hoping that someone could recommend some things I might be able to do to naturally bring on labor over a weekend. I know that's kinda weird to put it in such a tight time frame, but I don't know what else to do. If there's anything I could do in the three days that DH is home to encourage things naturally, I'd be all for it.<br><br>
I guess I just need some guidance here! What would you do? What would you recommend to your clients in a case like this? Are there any books or websites I could check out to educate myself?<br><br>
I hope this is clear - I feel like I'm rambling like crazy, LOL! Any help you could provide would be very much appreciated.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> wow well first off its soooo hard to tell a women to induce. babies come when they are ready. its also so hard to work it all around "a golf game" now what I mean?<br><br>
I do know that women can mentally hold back the labor till their dh arrives. I have seen that alot. we just had a student/ client and her dh was in LA. she started to labor but didn't really pick up till he walked in the door, then it just took off. it was so wild. but here is a site. good luck<br><br>
I would get a doula, just in case<br><br><a href="http://www.maternitycorner.com/mcmag/articles/preg0007.html" target="_blank">http://www.maternitycorner.com/mcmag.../preg0007.html</a>
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks for your help. I just needed someone to point me in the right direction to get some info. Hopefully we won't end up needing any of it.<br><br>
I appreciate it!
 

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what would I do???<br><br>
I'd refuse any and all internal exams.<br>
I'd refuse induction, under most circumstances. I'd really educate myself on induction meds and their side effects to both mother and baby. I'd educate myself on the side effects of inducing and being born too early on the baby. I'd read as much as I possibly could, and arm myself with information. I would not only read articles on both sides of the issue, I'd go to <a href="http://www.pubmed.com" target="_blank">www.pubmed.com</a> and read the studies the articles are quoting. I would trust my body to give birth when the time is right for the baby, not when the time is right for DH or the doctor. I would try my hardest to not stress over it, occupy my time with a hobby, something to take my mind off the baby and the birth.<br><br>
I also want to agree with the previous poster that you probably won't go into hard labor until you feel comfortable giving birth (that means, DH is there). I know that happened to me with both of my girls. The first time, my labor stalled out as soon as I got to the hospital. This, I believe, was a direct result of the level of anxiety I was feeling at the time. With my second, I had a four hour drive to see my midwives, and though I lost my mucous plug here at home, I didn't start dilating and having productive contractions until I got there and was able to relax.
 

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I have to agree with stafl. IMO, inductions are not a good idea...especially just because of a scheduling issue. I don't want to negate how your DH feels about wanting to be there for the birth...but I don't think it's worth risking the safety of your baby and yourself. And, yes, I think inductions are risky for mom & baby. If I were you I would do some research on inductions and placental abruptions. Seems to me that inducing when you have already had some bleeding would be a very, very bad idea, but I haven't done the research on that myself. I beg of you to look into it.<br><br>
I also agree that you will probably go into labor when you feel most comfortable...when your DH is home. I am convinced that I would have had DD a week sooner, except that I was supposed to be at a baby shower my mom was hosting for me & I didn't want to be in labor there and I didn't want to have the baby just a few days before the shower, either. I believe that my body postponed labor until the shower was over.
 

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I am so sorry that your situation is so unsetteling to you. It must be very difficult for you to have your hubby traveling so much with kiddos to mother and a baby to grow.<br><br>
I highly suggest that you hire a doula who you feel very comfortable with. She will be able to listen to your concerns, be there with you in the event that your hubby is far away. It could be a plan 'b' so to speak that will give you the peace of mind that you will not be laboring alone or that you wont know if your contractions are 'real' (I have a feeling this will not ultimately be a problem for you).<br><br>
I hear your fear and anxiety. Do some research. Know it is okay to be anxious....you have a lot going on. Surround yourself with plans that make a best case scenario out of a cruddy situation so that you aren't left with the what ifs....<br><br>
I would encourage you to rethink the induction. You ultimately need to do what you feel is best for you and your family, but there may be other things you will feel comfortable with aside from an induction if you really get a supportive plan going for yourself.<br><br>
Happy Birthing to you! I hope everything works out well!
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
ladies, you're wonderful! Thank you SO much for your words of wisdom and support! I think it really has helped.<br><br>
I've found some resources on childbirth, and I'm working on educating myself, and I think that's a step in the right direction.<br><br>
I'm also feeling a lot more comfortable with this whole scenario. According to my CNM, the baby's nice and strong (which I can feel, LOL) and a good size, as well. That's not a surprise, seeing as my last two were both 8 pounders. Also, my mom, who teaches second grade nearby, is done with school for the summer tomorrow, and I feel much better knowing I'll have someone available for support, even if DH can't make it.<br><br>
Thanks again for your help! This has really helped settle my mind!<br><br>
Micki
 

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I'm not a fan of inductions but wanted to share an induction story (the really short version). Earlier this year I had a client with a husband in the military. He was overseas andthe military would let him come home for exactly two weeks around his wife's due date. She REALLY wanted a natural childbirth. She chose to induce three days after her DH came home because it was still over a week before her due date and chances were she wouldn't have gone into labor on her own until right before he left. When he went back overseas he was going to be gone another 8months. So she was induced. It was a very long, gruelling ordeal ending in an emergency c/s. She has an absolutely beautiful view of her birth! She feels in her heart that she did the right thing. As anti-induction as I am, I think she did too. She knew her risks very very well and things turned out exactly how she did not want them to. HOwever, her DH was there for thebirth of their firstborn and that meant the world to them. I was veryvery honored to attend this birth, it will forever be one of my most memorable.<br><br>
Now, I am not saying that the OP should induce. Chance are fair for you that you'll go into labor when your DH is available. Should you go into labor, can you call him from out-of-state and he start on his way at least? I'd definately get a doula or at least a really good friend, someone to be your eyes, ears, and memory. At least someone to hold a camera should your DH be unavailable. It's true, a woman can mentally hold off labor or bringiton. Talk to your baby, talk to your body. I think things will work out in your favor!<br>
Namaste, Tara
 
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